You’re recently engaged—congratulations! As you ride on cloud nine of excitement, you might feel ready to dive right into planning the wedding ASAP … or maybe not. For some, wedding planning comes naturally and immediately. For others, it’s something they’d prefer to put off just a little bit longer. Fortunately, there are some things you can post-pone as you bask in post-engagement bliss.
Here are wedding planning details that you can put on hold for at least a month or two after your engagement.
As soon as you tell your family and best friends that you’re engaged, they’ll probably be eager to know when you’ll choose your dress or other attire (and are they invited to help hunt?). As excited as everyone is, though, you certainly have time in this regard. If you have a year or more, you can start looking for upcoming trunk shows or bridal sample sales happening near you. You may want to book appointments at any salons that you hope to visit in the future if they tend to book up quickly. Otherwise, though, you shouldn’t feel rushed.
The same goes for the right suit for a groom. Wait until you pick an overall wedding color scheme or figure out how formal you want to go before you choose anything.
If you accidentally already blurted out that you want certain friends to be in your wedding party, that’s OK. Rounding out the fully party, though, may take some time—and that’s also OK. Don’t feel pressured to choose your full wedding party right away. You may also need time to decide if you even want a wedding party and other variables. Your wedding party, particularly your maid of honor and best man, plays a big role in your wedding planning so you want to make sure you find people who are not only your closest family and friends but who also fit the role. So, feel free to sit on this for a bit.
Creating a wedding guest list isn’t exactly easy—there are a lot of factors that go into deciding who to invite and who to skip. Before you finalize a guest list, you should finalize your wedding budget. Your budget will determine how much you can spend on a venue and catering, both of which impact guest count. It’s not worth it to debate about distant cousins or old college friends before you figure out a general guest count range. If you want some extra padding, ask that your parents don’t announce your engagement to people outside the family, such as coworkers or the rest of their extended network yet.
Thinking about who to invite and not to invite can make your head spin. It’s totally OK to wait to finalize the guest list until after you work out your budget. Plus, until you know exactly how many guests the venue can hold, you might want to hold off on deciding which of your far-distant cousins makes the cut. If this is sure to cause conflicts, it’s fine to tell your parents to maybe wait to mention the engagement and upcoming wedding to all of their co-workers and extended network.
This probably goes without saying, but your seating chart isn’t one of the first things you need to worry about post-engagement. After all, you don’t even have a guest list yet. You probably will think about obvious table pairings (or people you want to keep away from one another) before you actually start the chart. Instead of trying to map it out too early, just keep notes of couplings that you think of throughout your planning process. Then, review and apply your notes when you finally do make a seating chart in the months before your wedding.
OK, this one is a bit more involved. While you really don’t need to hire vendors in the first month after you get engaged, there is an exception. If you have your eye on a certain popular florist, baker, caterer, venue, etc., you may have to move quickly. Demand will make a difference if you’re hoping to get married in a year or less.
If you aren’t concerned with a specific timeline and really don’t have any specific vendors in mind, though, you can relax. Most vendors can be booked further down the line (not too much, though). It’s possible that one vendor may lead to another, especially in the case of venues and caterers. If you hire a wedding planner, he or she may also have recommendations for you. Let a few other details fall together before you panic about vendors.
Nothing kills the romance of an engagement period like thinking about the tax implications of your marriage. If both partners are from the same country, typically, the only legal matter you’ll be dealing with while wedding planning is applying for your marriage license. And that’s usually done right ahead of the ceremony.
It’s possible that your specific case may require other legal work ahead of the marriage, but you’ll likely be aware of these and may have even discussed ahead of the engagement.
You may want to post your #ringselfie and engagement highlights on social media right away. Writing a wedding website, though, can wait. Your wedding website will serve as a hub for all of your wedding day or weekend information. So, ideally, you’ll wait for a few key components before sharing your URL. Your venue, for example, should be locked down. This is because your website should include all of the location, transportation, and accommodation details for your guests. And those things are typically influenced by your venue location.
Many couples also choose to include their engagement photos on their wedding websites so you’ll want to get those back first, too. Plus, you need time to build your wedding registry so you can link out to that, as well. Your wedding website should be ready to go by the time you send out save the dates or invitations. Then, you can include a URL to your site for your guests to access.
Your wedding style can be a vague notion that sort of guides your wedding planning or your wedding style can be a strict set of guidelines that inform your entire wedding strategy. Whichever it will be, though, the month after you get engaged is not the time to finalize it with your partner.
Give it time to develop between you two. Spend time perusing Pinterest and coming up with your ideal color scheme, figuring out your favorite wedding florals, and establishing a preferred vibe. Your other decisions will follow suit.
There are a lot of to-dos on your wedding planning list, we know. Fortunately, not all of them have to happen the month after you get engaged. Bask in the glow of your new relationship status and feel confident putting a few things to the wayside for a little while longer.