You whittled down your social circle into the perfect wedding party and now it’s time to decide what everyone’s going to wear. While it’s not necessary for the wedding party to wear matching outfits, many couples like to achieve a cohesive look. Traditionally, bridesmaids wear the same dress or outfit in the chosen wedding color. This helps the bride stand out in her wedding dress, makes for visually cohesive photos, and also helps other wedding guests identify the members of the wedding party.
However, many couples are loosening the reins and letting attendants choose dresses that reflect their individual maid of honor or bridesmaid style. Mismatching dresses are one of the best ways to help your bridesmaids feel comfortable, since they'll have more freedom to select a dress that reflects their own style and flatters their body type.
If you're worried about letting go of control when it comes to mix and match bridesmaid dresses for your big day, don't worry. From choosing bridesmaid dress colors to creating cohesive bridesmaid looks, here’s some wedding inspiration and insights to help you achieve a look that works for your wedding style and for your bridesmaids:
We get it: It’s your wedding and it can feel easier to maintain control and just put your girls in the same bridesmaid dress style. There are some pluses to giving your bridesmaids this freedom, though.
Definitely. Offering your bridesmaids free rein to choose their outfits for your wedding is nerve-wracking. You don’t want to end up with an entirely mismatched situation (unless you do!). There are some cons to letting your bridesmaids choose their own dresses.
Cohesion. Obviously, if you let your bridesmaids choose their own dresses, they'll probably all choose different styles…and maybe even different colors. If you really want a traditionally cohesive look, maybe reconsider this route.
Confusion. Too much of anything isn’t great—the same is true for bridal party freedom. Without any guidelines at all, you may find yourself answering a lot of texts about what’s OK and what’s not—from materials to color to price to length and more.
Make the dress hunt easy for your bridesmaids and yourself by being clear about what you really do and don’t want.
Sure, you told your girls you wanted everyone in pastel green. Great! No, not great. When we say be specific, we mean be specific. If you have a look in mind, be clear about that. Here are some details you may want to be extra clear about:
Dress color. If you have a dress color in mind, that’s great. However, what looks mauve to one person may be more pale violet to another. Picking a single color can make it difficult for bridesmaids to find dresses in the exact same shade from different vendors. Consider putting together a color palette of 3-4 complementary colors for your bridesmaids to choose from. or offer up a few vendors you’d like for them to order from.
Length. Some brides don’t mind a variety of hemlines—floor-length, knee-length, mini, midi, etc. If you want all of your bridesmaids in the same length dress, let them know. Alternatively, if you really don’t mind different lengths, let them know that, too.
Material. Satin, chiffon, charmeuse, crepe, taffeta—the world of dress materials is vast. If all of your bridesmaids are wearing the same exact color, dresses in different materials can be a nice way to add some dimension to the look. However, too many materials can also be a bit distracting. If you don’t want anyone in a jersey knit, make that clear.
Style. By this, we mean the level of formality. If you’re having a black-tie wedding, you may not want your bridesmaids in semi-formal dresses. Be sure to outline the dress code clearly.
Clarity is key. Before you tell your bridesmaids they can choose their own dresses, come prepared with your own suggestions and requirements.
You made a day out of wedding dress shopping…so why not make one out of bridesmaid dress shopping? Go to brunch and then hit the stores. Keep it simple and have a couple of boutiques picked out for the shopping expedition. Note: This may involve making appointments ahead of time. This way, your bridesmaids can choose a variety of dresses and you can be there in person to share immediate impressions. Not only is this just a fun wedding party activity, but it also helps busier bridesmaids find time to shop and nudges along any that err on the side of procrastination.
If your bridesmaids don’t live in the same area or can’t make the shopping day, that’s OK. Consider scheduling a Facetime with them as they shop. You can also create a dedicated group chat (if you haven’t already) to dress shopping.
There are the hair and makeup trials, the catering and cake tastings, and, of course, the bridesmaid dress check-in. It’s always a good idea to get on the same page before anything is finalized. Make sure your bridesmaids run their final dress choices by you before they purchase. This way you can see if it fits into your ultimate vision or theme—and you eliminate any surprises and last-minute stress.
Give your bridesmaids an absolute deadline for their final dress check-in. It sounds like a bridezilla move, but, trust us, it benefits them, too. You want everyone to have ample time to either find a new dress or get any necessary alterations. We recommend scheduling your check-in for about seven months ahead of the wedding.
We like the idea that letting your bridesmaids choose their own dresses may remove some of the financial strain. We also like the idea of a bride providing a shortlist (3-5) of dress vendors for the bridal party to choose from. If you go this route, consider selecting different styles you love in a variety of price ranges. Be considerate of your party’s financial situations—and be open to discussing it with any bridesmaid who may be in a tough spot.
Bridesmaid attire doesn’t end with the dress. Accessories are everything, especially if you’re going for a mismatched bridesmaid dress look. Choosing a pair of shoes or a specific shoe style and color is an easy way to bring a cohesive look to your bridal party.
If you don’t have a shoe in mind, be sure to be clear about style. This way you avoid one girl in heels and another in flats. (If one of your bridesmaids needs to wear flats for a personal reason, though, we recommend hearing her out on that, of course.) Alternatively, you may want your bridal party in flats or sneakers. Again, just make sure you’re aligned.
Similarly, let your bridesmaids know what jewelry you do or don’t want them to wear. Traditionally, brides will purchase and then gift the jewelry they want their bridesmaids to wear. If you want to let them choose their own, that’s cool, too. Be sure, as always, to be clear about style.
And don't forget about florals! Bridesmaid bouquets are an accessory in their own right, and will add cohesion to the look of your wedding party. Make sure that whatever flowers you're ordering will complement the bridesmaids' dresses.
Above all, letting your bridesmaids choose their own dresses shouldn’t be too complicated or stressful. In fact, it should potentially make things a little easier for you. These girls are your bridesmaids for a reason—and they want to make your wedding day go smoothly. Trust that they’ve got this under control and really, truly, let them take the reins on this one. (Don’t forget to thank them for their hard work in the planning process, either.)
Who knows, they might even pick a dress they like so much, they’ll wear it again. Isn’t that the best-case scenario for any bridesmaid dress?
Ready to get down to specifics? Here are some of the approaches you can take when building a mismatched bridal party look.
This is one of the most straightforward approaches when it comes to choosing different bridesmaid dresses. You can pick a color, like dusty blue or burnt orange, and ask your bridesmaids to find whatever dress they want in the chosen color. Add some cohesion to these different styles by giving them certain guidelines—for example, maybe you want them all to wear a maxi dress, or wear dresses that are in the same fabric.
If you're going to be strict about the color and style of the dress, you can give your bridesmaids some flexibility by letting them choose their own neckline. This is one of the best ways to accommodate different body types, as each girl can wear whatever cut she feels comfortable in. For example, maybe your maid of honor has a larger chest and would prefer a dress with straps—while another bridesmaid might love strapless styles.
Texture is a great way to create visual interest among your different bridesmaid dresses. For example, let's say you're having a fall wedding and have asked your bridesmaids to wear burnt orange. Maybe one finds a satin dress she loves in the burnt orange shade, while another is drawn to a velvet style. Assign a texture to each maid that not only lets them show off their own personal style, but works well with the textures of the other dresses.
If you don't have a specific color in mind, keep it broad and ask bridesmaids to stick to a specific color scheme. For example, you might let your wedding party know to look for shades of green bridesmaid dresses (like sage and forest) or pink bridesmaid dresses (like dusty pink and fuschia). Ideally, this will create a sort of tonal, ombre-inspired look that's perfect for boho weddings.
If you want to make a bold statement with your bridal party, get creative by pairing different colors. You can choose a color family, like warm tones or cool tones, or choose a color scheme that reflects the season—for example, jewel tones for a moody winter wedding or pastel shades for a springtime celebration.