We know you’re planning a wedding, a celebration filled to the brim with your loved ones. We also know at least one person has already raised the topic (and an eyebrow) of the wedding night, the first moments in 24 hours that you have alone with your partner, now officially as a married couple. Whether you’re planning a special surprise for the night or would prefer to kick back in your PJs and pass out, you’ll want to dress the part.

When it comes to picking out what to wear, Cora Harrington—also known as “The Lingerie Addict” and author of In Intimate Detail—encourages people to remember that all undergarments are lingerie, so there’s no reason to be intimidated. Know your size and get acquainted with the best brands for you, she says, not necessarily what’s most popular.

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So before you get shopping, there are a few tips to keep in mind:

  • Start with comfort. If you start with the brands you already like, it’s hard to go wrong. While your partner’s opinion is important, remember that your comfort and confidence level are key. Everything else is secondary.
  • Don’t be afraid to abandon tradition. Though it might be long-established that you’re expected to wear white on your wedding night, this is really between you and your partner—so do what seems right for you. If white feels impractical or inauthentic to you, then skip it.
  • Set a budget. Like anything, you don’t want to go in debt over something you’re only going to wear a handful of times, at most. Have a clear budget in mind to prevent any financial surprises.
  • Consider its uses. Do you plan on wearing your bridal lingerie under your wedding dress? Are you doing a bridal boudoir shoot that you could use some cute new styles for? In addition to planning for the actual wedding night, these are all things to keep in mind.
  • Plan ahead. It’s always a good idea to go shopping for your bridal lingerie around the same time you do your dress fitting so you know that the lingerie will actually fit you on your wedding day.

How to Pick Your Wedding Night Look

Once you’ve ironed out the basics, it’s time to start thinking through styles and silhouettes. In addition to confidence and embracing your shape, it’s important to show off a bit of your personality.

If you’re not generally attracted to frill, bows and pink lace are probably not your cup of tea. Don’t try to force it. This is your chance to be extravagant (or extra cozy), but you also don’t want to feel out-of-place.

You’re new to lingerie...

If you’re starting from scratch, the best plan of action is to stick with what you know and love. Instead of opting for over-the-top, boudoir styles, consider choosing a pretty set from a brand you’re already comfortable with. Chances are the same designer who makes your favorite t-shirt bra has something a little lacier or revealing than you’d normally wear, but still feels genuine to you.

You’re all about comfort...

Maybe you’re looking for something soft and lacy to surprise your partner or maybe you’d prefer to relax in some comfy PJs. If you and your SO have more of a popcorn-and-movie kind of night planned, a patterned tank and boyfriend briefs might be the ideal choice. If you’re feeling more indulgent, a silk cami set is also a great option that you’ll likely come back to time and time again.

You had a boho wedding...

You’re all about that repurposed look and it shows. While lace bralettes and ruffled separates are great for those who simply have a more boho aesthetic, Harrington actually recommends vintage lingerie. It’s often higher quality than its modern counterparts. If the idea of wearing someone’s old undergarments bothers you, look for vintage pieces that are labeled “deadstock” or “new old stock,” meaning they have never been worn and are simply preserved in their original state.

You’re all about classic....

Maybe you’ve worn lingerie in the past, but aren’t as confident with all the audacious styles that many ladies opt for on their wedding night. Consider something sleek and simple, like a satin demi-bra and panty set in a rich hue. A matching or monogrammed silk pajama set is another great choice if you’re going for something more demure.

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You’re feeling something Avant-garde...

Like your wedding dress, your lingerie choices are likely to be less-than-typical. Consider flashier styles like lace bodysuits with clever cut-outs or eye-catching sets in unexpected colors. Hand-stitched seams, pretty paneling, and other thoughtful details are all more subtle ways to make a statement. If you’re going for something trendy, tattoo-print pieces in neutral tones and velvet separates that beg to be touched are both great options.

You want to go full 50 shades...

When it comes to your lingerie choices, leather, harnesses, and unexpected straps are your best friend. Focus on finding daring sets or separates that ooze sex appeal like an edgy frame bra with sheer cups or peekaboo bottoms that leave little to the imagination. Instead of pastels or neutrals, opt for colors like black and red to set the mood. Don’t forget: The bolder the better.

Whatever your wedding night holds, slip into something comfortable that you and your partner can enjoy. Stick to brands you love and know for added coziness or break free from your traditional style and try something different.