Since most of the wedding planning action is on the bride’s side, the mother of the groom might be left wondering what her role is on the big day. Even if tradition dictates that she has limited involvement in planning the wedding, both the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom play a significant role in making the wedding happen.

So, if you’re looking to help at your son’s wedding, here are some mother of the groom duties you’ll want to keep in mind:

Before the Wedding

1. Offer Financial Help

While the groom’s parents may not take as active of a role in planning the wedding, they can still contribute financially. Sit down with your son and future daughter-in-law to discuss the financial support they may need and how much you’re willing and able to contribute. Some of the vendors or items that you can cover are:

• Wedding rings
• Wedding officiant
• Groom’s suit
• Transportation
• Flowers (bridal bouquet, boutonnieres, corsages)
• Band
• Wedding venue
• Alcohol
• The newlyweds’ honeymoon

2. Be a Point of Contact

If the wedding is happening in your hometown, and the couple is living somewhere else, be the main point of contact with the vendors. Doing this can significantly help them, especially when a personal appearance is needed, such as a site visit, food tasting with the caterers (if the couple is not available), or even just to drop off a check payment.

3. Host the Rehearsal Dinner

It’s traditional for the groom’s family to plan and host the rehearsal dinner. With the reception often paid for by the couple themselves or the bride’s parents, you can offer to take care of the engagement party and/or rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding ceremony. (You can also give a speech toasting the happy couple.)

4. Attend the Bridal Shower

This is a great chance to get to know the bride’s family members, friends, bridesmaids, and wedding party/bridal party. It’s also a nice gesture of support to build a relationship with your soon-to-be daughter-in-law (you will be her mother-in-law soon, after all!) The bridal shower is also a great time to speak with the bride’s parents and get to know them a little bit better. Carve out some time to chat with bride’s mother and/or the father of the bride—and let them know how excited you are to welcome their daughter into your family.

5. Check-in on Your Family

From collecting friends and relatives’ names and addresses to assisting the bride and groom with the RSVPs, helping with the wedding guest list can take an all-important, yet stressful, task off the happy couple’s shoulders.

6. Keep the Family Traditions Alive

If anything has been done during milestones in the family over the years, feel free to share it with the soon-to-be-married couple for them to incorporate into their special day. Maybe there’s a beautiful poem or blessing that can be read during the wedding ceremony or an heirloom that the bride can hold or wear. These are things that can be shared with the wedding couple, although ultimately, it’s their decision whether to include the tradition(s) or not.

7. Help the Father of the Groom With His Speech

Fathers are often tasked with giving a toast at the reception and thanking the guests for coming to the wedding. You can help your husband keep his speech short and sweet, and, if your son asks you to, you can also say a few words of your own.

8. Assist With the DIYs

Do-it-yourself décor accents or favors are a lot of work, and they can use another set of hands, especially if you’re crafty.

9. Inform Guests of the Couple’s Registry

Though the couple’s wedding registry is written on the invitation, guests would still often ask about it. Be sure you have their Zola wedding registry link on your phone, so it’s easier for you to share this information with your friends and relatives.

During the Wedding

Photo Credit // Robert Faust Photography

On the day of the wedding, make sure that you’re available to lend a helping hand to the bride and groom. As the groom’s mother, some other ways that you can help may include:

1. Round-Up the Family

Since you know everyone on the groom’s side of the family, assist in gathering everyone for photos, seat them for the ceremony, and ensure that everyone has a ride going to the reception.

2. Mother and Son Dance

Like the bride’s father and daughter dance, you are also going to dance with your son at the wedding reception. Have a quick practice with him when he has the time. Choose a meaningful song for your mother-son dance that you’ll both remember for the rest of your lives.

3. Enjoy the Party

Remember, this is a day for you to celebrate, too. Mingle with the guests and your in-laws, and show your son that you’re having a great time. It will mean a lot to him and his now-wife.

As the mother of the groom, you can always offer help with the wedding planning process. On the wedding day, be there to support your son in any way that you can. The best thing that you can do is to help bridge your families, welcome wedding guests, and soak in all the special moments of this defining day.

After the Wedding

1. Host a Post-Wedding Brunch

If you want to keep the wedding celebration going after the actual wedding day, the parents of the groom may host a post-wedding brunch or lunch that day after. Depending on the space and budget you have available, you may opt to keep it small (for example, just the couple, their parents, and the wedding party) or open it up to a larger number of guests (for example, anyone traveling from out of town).

2. Offer Assistance To Departing Guests

If you had guests travel for the wedding, they’ll likely be heading home in the days following the celebration. Make yourself available if they have any last minute requests or need any help prior to their departure (for example, booking a car to the airport).

3. Store The Wedding Gifts

If your son and his spouse are headed on their honeymoon immediately following the wedding, they’ll need someone to store their wedding gifts until they get home (or deliver them to their house so they’re waiting when they get back)—and that’s a perfect job for the mother of the groom.