Your child’s wedding is an exciting and eventful time, and whether you’ve thought about it already or not, what you wear to a special occasion can be a big deal. However, between figuring out what color to wear, the style of your dress, and following best etiquette, things can get a little complicated. You might even be wondering, what the difference between the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom's dress is? In reality, the answer is not much. What’s different is who takes the lead. Here, we break it all down.
Mother of the Bride: As the bride’s mother, you may be privy to a lot of information about the details of the wedding and your daughter’s preferences. It’s your responsibility to understand what she wants from both you and the groom’s mother in terms of your attire.
Typically, you shouldn’t start shopping for a dress until the bride has selected her dress as well as those for the bridesmaids. If this hasn’t happened by about six to eight months before the wedding, check in with your daughter to see if she has a timeline, or ask if she is ok with you beginning to shop. Then, make sure you call the mother of the groom to let her know the details—like color and style—of the dress you plan to buy for the wedding day, plus share information about when you plan to start your search. This will give her a better idea of what outfit she should be looking for and when.
Mother of the Groom: As the groom’s mother, you’ll want to let the mother of the bride take the lead during the dress shopping process. Generally, you should expect to start your dress shopping around six months before the wedding. However, you should wait to hear from the bride’s mother before you begin. She should let you know the color and style of her dress, so you can coordinate by selecting a complimentary design. If you haven’t heard from her by about five months before the wedding, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for an update on the dress code. She should appreciate that you want to respect traditional wedding attire etiquette and will hopefully be able to give you some extra details, so you can begin shopping for your perfect dress.
Unless you are specifically asked to do so by the bride, both mothers should avoid matching each other or the bridesmaids’ dresses. However, coordination is still crucial for chic photographs on the big day. So, at the very least, both mothers will want to wear colors that complement the other. But it’s important to check in with the bride before you make any decisions. Maybe she envisions everyone wearing neutral tones, or perhaps she prefers bold and bright. Regardless of her preference, chances are she has one, so make sure you know what it is.
Make sure you’re both wearing the same formality of dress as well. Otherwise, photos will appear off-balanced, and it might be misconstrued that one mother is trying to outshine or outdo the other. If the mother of the bride selects a more casual and laid-back look, most likely approved by the bride herself, then the groom’s mother probably won’t want to choose an overly formal dress. Open communication is key.
Much like the mother of the groom, step-mothers of both the bride or groom should follow the lead of the mother of the bride. Specifically, you’ll want to ensure both the mother of the bride and mother of the groom have selected their dresses before you begin looking for yours.
The mother of the bride and mother of the groom dresses aren’t all that different in terms of colors, style, or design. The contrast between these two gowns is in how they are selected. Both women should consider the bride’s preferences, but the mother of the bride should be allowed to take the lead on dress shopping for all mothers and step-mothers of the bride and groom. Following these simple guidelines are sure to make the process go smoothly and efficiently.