Will My Guests Still Care About My Rescheduled Wedding?

A lot has happened in 2020, and on the list of things on people's minds these days, you're wondering where your wedding stands. Whether you've postponed or are just getting started planning, let's get real about this totally valid anxiety.

By Jennifer Prince

illustrated heart hands
Photo by Zola

The First Look ✨

  • Many couples are postponing their big day, which can leave them wondering whether people still care about their wedding.
  • Your loved ones care about you, are still excited, and are ready to celebrate with you.
  • Keeping a positive attitude, using humor, and being honest can help convey your feelings to your guests.
  • Finding creative ways to include your guests virtually can build anticipation for the big day.

Postponed weddings is the one 2020 wedding trend none of us saw coming. COVID-19 had other plans, however, and, in an effort to prioritize the health and safety of couples and their wedding guests, a whole lot of replanning and rescheduling happened this year.

As you know by now, you're certainly not alone. According to Zola's Replanning Report, 62% of all couples surveyed opted to postpone their wedding date. Yes, couples everywhere are facing the same questions and considerations as you, including those less related to planning and more feelings-adjacent. One question you may have uttered to yourself or your partner but are less inclined to ask out loud: Will anyone still care about my wedding?

It's a totally normal feeling, right? You've planned this thing, maybe sent invites, even received registry gifts, and more. And now it's all being pushed back by months or longer. It's OK to wonder if the build up will last. And the good news is it definitely will.

Even though the date is suspended, rest assured that you’re in people’s thoughts. Here are a few reasons why.

They care about you.

No matter when or how far away the big day is, your family, friends, and attendants are excited for you. Your wedding may take a different shape, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t be memorable. You may be trading out your 250-person reception for a micro wedding with a virtual element; however, your loved ones are still anticipating celebrating in whatever way they are able.

They feel for you.

Quite often, words escape people. An unprecedented situation means that many may be at a loss for words or unable to voice their feelings. Although they may have to alter their travel plans or participate virtually, they can—and will—sympathize with you.

INLINE IntimateWeddingatSanDiegoCourthouse DearDarlingPhotography Photo Credit// Dear Darling Photography

They're craving connection.

Depression rates have been on the rise as folks have been in isolation. Working from home, homeschooling children, and having to miss out on interaction has and continues to take its toll. Gathering for the sole purpose of celebrating you and your spouse is a way to experience connection once again. This event is as much about celebrating you as it is about reconnecting with you and likely other friends and family.

How to Keep Guests Excited For Your Postponed Wedding

Get excited.

Excitement is highly contagious. Those early relationship flutters and engagement highs don’t have to end. Channel that enthusiasm and pass it along to your guests. If they can sense that you are thrilled about your big day, they’ll be as delighted as you are.

Lead with positivity—as you can.

Yes, everything came to a screeching halt this year. You had to reschedule vendors, inform everyone of a change in plans, and postpone your honeymoon. Not amazing.

However, having a positive attitude and adjusting to your new arrangements can spread good vibes in a hurry. It does require a change of heart. Try to see the benefits of your altered wedding plans. What changes can you make now that you have more time to plan?

Communicate effectively.

Be sure to keep your guests informed as you make new decisions. Don’t send them daily emails, but keep them in the loop by communicating your new plans as you make them. Being proactive in answering their questions and relaying further details will ease their mind and keep them looking forward to your day.

Be honest.

Keep your inner circle aware of how you're genuinely feeling. You don’t need to complain to your distant aunt, but chat with your mom or BFF about your thoughts. Having a safe place to vent can help you keep that positive attitude mentioned above. However, it also encourages your closest friends and family to pump up your wedding to others when you simply can’t.

INLINE RomanticFallWeddingattheBrazilianRoom NicoleBlumbergPhotography Photo Credit// Nicole Blumberg Photography

Remember the reason.

Yes, the details of the main event got a bit mangled along the way, but the ultimate purpose of your wedding day is so that you can get married and start your forever together. Your union is the best reason of all to remain positive and get excited about your big day.

How to Keep Guests Excited About a Virtual Wedding

So, you’re going for a virtual wedding or merely adding an online component to your big day. It’s easy for people who aren’t attending in person to feel a little blah about the new plans. However, scaling up their involvement in small ways can leave a big impression.

  • Celebrate virtually on the original date. The date you marked on the calendar comes and goes, but it still deserves a moment to shine. Gather friends and family via Zoom and celebrate what should have happened. Designate people to lead online toasts and share memories. Doing this also familiarizes your guests with what your virtual wedding will look like on the big day.
  • Get people involved. Faraway loved ones can do readings, sing, and even officiate from afar. However, be sure to check local guidelines on the legality of the last one. Virtually involving people who wouldn’t usually have a role can ramp up the excitement factor.
  • Interact with the camera. Wherever you set your recording devices, be sure to look at them every so often. Give a nod, smile, or wink to the camera as you say your vows. Take the time to talk to your guests and thank them for joining you virtually.
  • Send goodies ahead of time. We all love care packages. Honestly, anything besides bills and flyers generates excitement in the mailbox. Imagine the surprise of your friends and family as they receive a package leading up to your big day. Include a wedding favor, recipe for a signature cocktail they can make for a toast, and a handwritten note. Sending this six weeks to a month before your special day is such a thrill for the recipient.
  • Offer specific instructions on how to join. Some people are anxious about technology. It can be confusing and frustrating, so offer step-by-step instructions on how to join virtually. Let them know how early they should show up and how long the event will last. Also, brief your guests on what parts of the wedding will happen on screen.
  • Stick with tradition. First kiss? Check! Stunning backdrop? Check! Artsy cake? Double-check! Don’t skip traditional wedding elements that everyone loves just because you’re going virtual. Guests can observe, participate, and guess whether or not you’ll dab your partner’s nose with wedding cake icing.

Life is built on relationships; they affect our daily lives as we are surrounded by those we hold dear. When it comes to questioning feelings about your wedding day, trust in those bonds. Work to generate excitement, but also know that your family and friends want to celebrate with—and for—you. Unprecedented times call for extraordinary measures, but rest assured that your loved ones are by your side through it all.