Second weddings bring up so many etiquette questions, both from the couple getting married and the people around them. Who can be invited? What color dress should a bride wear? Is it sensitive to have a more significant event than the first wedding? Should the kids from the previous marriage be included? Is it appropriate to have a wedding party?
Another commonly asked question for the pre-wedding activities is, can a second-time bride still have a wedding shower?
If your friend is getting married the second time around, there is no reason why you shouldn’t throw her a wedding shower. Her second shot at love and marriage is a cause for celebration, but this should be based on what she wants and is comfortable with. Most brides with second weddings would like to keep both wedding and pre-wedding activities small and intimate, and some might even skip the wedding shower altogether. Communicate with the bride to ensure that whatever is planned has her blessing. A wedding shower, after all, is all about her.
Hosted by the bride’s closest friends and family, wedding showers are thrown in anticipation of a bride’s wedding. This event is usually held between a couple of months to a couple of weeks before the wedding day. She is showered with gifts and, sometimes, financial assistance to help her set up her new household. A second-time bride might now have everything that she needs for her kitchen or her entire house, so gifting is a little more challenging. This is where a gift registry comes in extra handy.
Having a registry can show what the couple needs to start their new home, but it can also guide their style, choice of color, and type. While it’s useful to consult the couple’s wedding registry, it’s also acceptable to give a gift that is not from the list, provided it’s something that you believe the couple can use. Below are some of our top wedding shower gift ideas for second marriage brides to consider.
If the bride insists on not having a gift registry, there are still items that you can give her that are marital in nature. Forget about appliances and kitchen tools, or anything communal in a household, rather, get creative and think of the couple’s lifestyle—you will be able to come up with a wedding gift that the newlyweds can use together, be it in their bedroom, or when they are out having fun. Some examples are:
If you’re close enough to the bride to host, or be invited to, her wedding shower, it means that you’re a part of her nearest and dearest, and you would have an idea of her interests and taste. Give her a wedding gift that aligns with that. Personal items that are specific to the bride and not the couple are also suitable to be given to her during the wedding shower:
Sometimes, the bride will say no to everything and would just ask that her friends skip the wedding shower altogether. Instead, she might genuinely want to spend time with people who know her best and are rooting for her and her second chance at true love. Hosting a wedding shower with her closest friends, or even if it’s just the two of you, is already a wedding shower gift in and of itself.
Go spend a day at the spa or have a salon day to do your hair and nails for your bestie’s second wedding gift. Watch a concert or take in a Broadway show that you’ve been dying to see. Be one with nature and take a hike, or visit your favorite local winery. Or, simply have a pajama party at home or in a hotel room. Whatever you decide to do, spend the day with her, laugh, cry (if needed), and assure her that you are with her every step of the way on her second marriage journey.