“Johnny Slaws BBQ is less of a restaurant and more of a beautifully seasoned crime scene.
The brisket was so tender it practically confessed before I even picked up the fork. The pulled pork had clearly been through something traumatic, but whatever happened to it was delicious. Every bite tasted like a pitmaster made a deal with an ancient smoke demon and somehow got the better end of the bargain.
The mac and cheese was dangerously creamy, the slaw provided just enough freshness to make me forget I was consuming enough meat to alarm a cardiologist, and the sauce tasted like it had been simmered in a cauldron under a blood moon.
I arrived as a normal, functioning member of society. I left covered in barbecue sauce, staring blankly into the distance, wondering how soon it would be socially acceptable to return.
Five stars. Tell my family I died doing what I loved.”
