Modern Wedding Etiquette: What’s Actually Acceptable in 2026?

If you feel like the "rules" of weddings have changed overnight, you aren't imagining things. As Gen Z officially makes up the majority of engaged couples (51%), they are rewriting the script on everything from who pays to who gets invited. The days of doing things "just because that’s how it’s always been done" are over.

In 2026, wedding etiquette is less about rigid tradition and more about authenticity and boundaries. Couples are prioritizing their values, their budgets, and their mental health. Whether you are planning your own big day or getting ready to attend one, here is the honest truth about what is actually acceptable right now.

The New Rules of "Yes" (Engagement & Planning)

The old timeline of "wait for the ring, then start planning" has officially dissolved. Couples today are pragmatic partners who treat marriage as a joint project, not a surprise party.

Is it crazy to book a venue before getting engaged?

Not at all. In fact, it is becoming a smart move in a busy market. Zola’s 2026 First Look Report data shows that 1 in 5 of couples now enter "full planning mode"—which includes anything from building full moodboards to booking venues—before the official proposal even happens.

With 68% of couples mutually deciding when to get engaged, the "surprise" is often just the moment, not the decision itself. If you know you want to get married and you have your eye on a dream location, go ahead and find a top-rated wedding venue to lock in your date. It isn't presumptuous; it's prepared.

Who actually pays for weddings in 2026?

The tradition of the bride's family covering the entire bill is fading fast. In 2026, funding is often a collaborative effort. While many couples receive support, 69% of those who do report that contributions come from both families.

We also see a rise in couples paying for a significant portion themselves to maintain creative control. This financial independence is a big reason why couples feel empowered to make decisions that suit them, rather than their parents. 

You can use our wedding budget tool to track who is contributing what and keep everyone on the same page.

Guest List Boundaries and The Power of “No”

The most refreshing trend of 2026 is the power of "No." Couples and guests alike are setting firmer boundaries to protect their budgets and their peace.

How to politely tell guests "No Kids" allowed

You don't need to feel guilty about an adults-only celebration. A solid 87% of couples view "Kid-Free" weddings as a standard, acceptable practice. It isn't about disliking children; it's about the vibe and the cost.

When you create your wedding website, be clear and direct. You can say something like, "We love your little ones, but our wedding will be an adults-only event so that everyone can relax and enjoy the evening."

What to do about an uninvited plus-one?

The old rule of "no ring, no bring" (meaning only married or engaged guests get a plus-one) is dead, but it has been replaced by the rule of "contextual closeness.” If a guest is in a serious relationship, it is polite to invite their partner. However, you are not obligated to give every single guest a generic “plus-one" option. In the end—it’s your wedding, and whatever makes you most comfortable is the right decision!

Our data shows that 78% of couples believe it is unacceptable for a guest to ask for a plus-one if they weren't given one. If someone RSVPs with an uninvited guest, you are well within your rights to politely let them know you can only accommodate the people named on the envelope. You can easily manage your guest list and avoid un-invited plus-ones by using our RSVP feature that allows only guests on your guest list to reply.

“Modern etiquette is less about rules and more about respect for the couple. When couples set a boundary for how they envision their wedding day, it’s important that guests respect those guidelines.” - Samantha Kobrin, Director of Brand at Zola

Is it rude to decline a wedding invitation?

Absolutely not. In fact, 92% of couples say it is totally acceptable to decline a wedding invitation. This is the highest etiquette consensus stat in our entire report.

Couples understand that travel is expensive and time is limited. If you can't make it, a prompt "no" is far better than a reluctant "yes."

Financial Etiquette: All Things Money

The stigma around cash gifts has officially vanished. In an era where many couples already live together or are saving for major life goals, cash can be often the most useful gift of all.

If you are wondering if it’s okay to ask for money, the answer is a resounding yes. 86% of couples believe asking for cash gifts is totally acceptable.

Wording for "Cash Funds" on your registry

When you start your registry, you can add specific cash funds for things like a down payment, a honeymoon, or even a puppy. Guests love knowing where their money is going. Instead of just asking for "cash," title your fund "Our First Home Fund" or "Honeymoon Airfare." It makes the gift feel personal rather than transactional and helps with thank you cards later on.

Do I have to pay for my bridesmaids' hair and makeup?

This is a common friction point. While it is generous to cover these costs if your budget allows, it isn't strictly required unless you are demanding a very specific, professional look.

However, if you are requiring your wedding party to pay for their own glam, you must be flexible about their choices. You can't demand they spend hundreds of dollars and dictate the exact style. The trend toward authenticity also means letting your friends look like themselves.

AI and Technology: Where to Draw the Line

Technology is a huge help for logistics, but couples are drawing a hard line when it comes to emotion.

Can I use ChatGPT to write my wedding vows?

You can, but it’s considered risky. While 54% of couples use AI for planning tasks like timelines and emails, 49% explicitly disagree with using AI to write vows.

Your vows are the heart of the ceremony. Your partner and guests want to hear your messy, imperfect, real voice—not a polished script generated by a bot. If you’re having a hard time writing by yourself, use AI to brainstorm ideas or structure your thoughts, but write the final promises yourself.

Are digital thank-you notes tacky in 2026?

Not exactly. More than half (56%) of all couples say digital thank-you notes are totally acceptable.

If you want to play it safe, stick to handwritten notes for gifts. However, for things like save the dates, RSVP, or general updates, digital is more widely embraced (and can be a big cost saver). 

The "Unplugged Ceremony" vs. "Content Creator" paradox

Couples want great content, but they don't want to see a sea of phones. 91% of couples approve of having a "phone-free" or unplugged ceremony.

The workaround? Many couples are hiring a designated content creator or asking a specific friend to capture videos, allowing everyone else to be present. You can respectfully ask guests to keep devices away during the ceremony so your professional photographer doesn't have to dodge iPhones in the aisle.

Attire & Aesthetics: The "Main Character" Energy

Guests are treating weddings as their own fashion moments, and couples are leaning into specific aesthetics to make their day look cohesive.

Is it okay for guests to wear red?

The old myth that wearing red means you are trying to steal the spotlight is largely gone. 69% of couples say it is acceptable for guests to wear red.

That said, read the room. If it’s a very traditional or religious ceremony, you might want to pick another color. But for most modern, semi-formal, or cocktail weddings, red is just a festive color.

Can I enforce a strict color palette for guests?

You might see this on TikTok, but in real life, proceed with caution. While 73% of couples find dress codes acceptable, demanding guests wear a specific color (like "all neutrals" or "shades of pink") can be touchy.

On your wedding website, you can suggest a "vibe" or palette in the FAQ section without making it a mandatory rule. Most guests want to look good and fit in, so gentle guidance is usually appreciated.

Quick-Reference: The 2026 Etiquette Acceptability Matrix

Need a quick answer on what's safe and what's risky? Here is the breakdown based on what couples are actually thinking this year.

Data from Zola’s 2026 First Look Report, based on a survey of 11,500+ couples.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it rude to have a wedding website FAQ page that tells guests what not to do? 

Not if you phrase it politely. In fact, guests appreciate clarity. Instead of a list of "don'ts," frame it as "helpful tips." For example, rather than saying "No phones allowed," try "We invite you to be fully present with us during our unplugged ceremony."

If we are paying for the wedding ourselves, do our parents get a say in the guest list?

Technically, no—but, it’s really your call. Today’s etiquette encourages collaboration. Even if you are self-funding, it is a kind gesture to ask each set of parents for a "wish list" of guests, with the understanding that you will accommodate whom you can within your budget and venue capacity.

How do we handle guests who ask to bring a plus-one after we've already said no? 

Stand your ground gently but firmly. You can say, "We would love to accommodate everyone, but due to venue capacity and budget, we are only able to invite the people named on the envelope. We can't wait to celebrate with you!" Most guests will understand.

Can we ask guests to wear a specific color palette? 

You can request it, but we’d avoid requiring it unless you are providing the attire. A "suggested palette" on your wedding website is a fun way to get guests involved in the vibe (e.g., "We'd love to see you in earth tones or florals!"). Just be prepared that not everyone will follow it perfectly.