How to Ask a Flower Girl to Be in Your Wedding

A flower girl is a special member of your wedding party who deserves an equally special proposal. Read on to learn more about how to ask a flower girl to be in your wedding.

By Emily Forrest

How to Ask a Flower Girl to Be in Your Wedding
Photo by Pena Rose Studios

The First Look ✨

The marriage proposal isn’t the only question that needs to be popped before a wedding. You also need to ask all of your attendants to join the party—including your flower girl. Because your flower girl is an important (and let’s be honest, adorable) member of your wedding party, she deserves a fun and unique proposal.

If you’re searching for the perfect idea, you’ve come to the right place. In this guide, we’ll explore:

16 Sweet Flower Girl Proposals

If you want to make the wedding experience truly memorable for your flower girl, start with the way you ask her to be a part of your special day. This is a lovely opportunity for you to get creative and make a little girl happy. Take a look below at some of our favorite ways to pop the question to your flower girl.

1. Flower Crown

A simple, yet elegant way to ask a flower girl to be in your wedding is with a floral crown. You can hand it to her and ask the question or even attach a note to the crown. She’ll love to wear it around the house, and it’ll get her excited about wearing a similar crown at the wedding.

Some of our favorite flowers for crowns are:

  • Roses
  • Orchids
  • Baby’s breath
  • Sunflowers
  • Daisies
  • Hydrangea
  • Lilies
  • Wildflowers
  • Lavender

If you need some flower crown inspiration, Zola’s free vendor tool allows you to search for florists in your area. Once you find the perfect match, you can have a crown specially made for your flower girl, and then use the same florist for the remainder of your wedding flower needs.

2. Puzzle

If your potential flower girl likes a little mystery, try asking her to be part of your wedding with a puzzle. You can make your own puzzle easily with a simple kit from a craft store. These come in a variety of materials including wood, cardboard, or plastic. You can decorate the puzzle, write your question, and then break it apart, and put it in a box to give to her.

For a quicker version, you can also write the message on a sheet of colorful paper and cut it into pieces for her to reassemble. Either way, she’ll enjoy the challenge and the sweet message she’ll discover when she puts it back together.

3. Book

Another idea we adore is the perfect choice for any book-loving little lady. There are several options for using books in your flower girl proposal, including:

  • Personalized story – Write a personalized short story that ends with the question, “Would you like to be my flower girl?” Although this option can be a little time-consuming, your flower girl is sure to love a book all about her.

  • Flower girl book – If you don’t have the time to make a personalized book, don’t worry. A quick perusal of your local children’s book store will likely give you one or two options for existing books about flower girls. You can present her with the book, then ask if she’d like to be the flower girl in your wedding.

  • Secret message book – Try cutting a crevice in the pages of an old book and tucking your message inside for the flower girl to find. She’s bound to have fun flipping through the book and discovering your hidden note.

4. Ring Pop

Recreate a traditional proposal scene by getting down on one knee and popping the question with a ring… pop. Ring pops combine two fun things—jewelry and candy. Your potential flower girl is sure to give you an emphatic yes when you ask her to be in the wedding with candy.

5. Balloons

Balloons are another charming tool that you can use to propose to your flower girl. Consider using a bunch of balloons to spell out: Will you be my flower girl?

Alternatively, you can print the same message on one balloon or hide the message on a piece of paper inside the balloon. Then, pop the balloon (and the question).

6. Special Cereal Box

The best part about breakfast as a kid was opening a new box of cereal and finding a toy inside. Recreate that experience for your flower girl with a special cereal box surprise.

Here’s what you’ll need to do:

  • Find out her favorite cereal – You can ask her directly, or ask her parents to avoid suspicion. Then, buy a box of that cereal.

  • Open the box – After you have the cereal, open the box carefully and hide your message inside. We recommend writing the question on a piece of paper and sliding it into a ziplock bag or other protective container.

  • Show up for breakfast – If you can, plan a day to drop by first thing in the morning to have a breakfast date. If you live out of town, you can ask her parents to record her reaction for you. Either way, it’s sure to be a memorable breakfast for her.

7. Dessert

If your flower girl prospect has a sweet tooth, you can ask her to be part of your wedding with a custom dessert. Most bakeries will be happy to print your proposal on one of their sweet treats.

Our favorites are:

  • Cookies
  • Cupcakes
  • Tiny tarts
  • Mini-cakes
  • Iced donuts

She’ll be excited about the proposal, as well as the accompanying treat.

8. Lunch Date

Another way to make your flower girl feel special and grown-up is to take her out for a lunch date, and pop the question there. Whether fancy or casual, she’ll likely appreciate the opportunity to spend time with you.

Then, while you’re enjoying your lunch, you can ask her if she’d like to be a part of your wedding.

9. Stuffed Animal

If your flower girl is an animal lover, what better way is there to ask her to be in your wedding than with her favorite furry friend? You can present her with a stuffed animal that holds a card posing the question or has the words flower girl embroidered on its body.

Alternatively, you can simply ask the question yourself after giving her the new plush toy.

10. Gift Box

One fabulous thing about gift boxes or bags is that they’re 100 percent customizable, giving you plenty of freedom to personalize your proposal based on your flower girl’s taste.

You can also design a box based on the type of wedding you’re planning, such as:

  • Beach ceremony – Sunglasses, seashells, flip flops, and a lei will look adorable tucked into a box with a card asking her to be your flower girl at your beach-themed wedding.

  • Rustic wedding – If you’re planning a barn wedding, a rustic style box including chocolates tied with twine, delicate flowers, stickers, and a cute note are the perfect way to ask her.

  • Winter wonderland – For a snowy winter wedding, you can make a box that includes glittery bath bombs, pine cones, sparkly ribbons, and a snowflake-shaped note. You can also give her a special flower girl ornament that she can hang on the family tree.

  • Springtime affair – Spring weddings are all about the flowers and lace, so reflect this theme in a gift box by including pretty flowers, a lacy headband, and sparkly sunglasses. You can even use flower-shaped paper for your note.

11. Jewelry

For the slightly older flower girl, jewelry is a winning choice for a proposal. We love necklaces or charm bracelets with Flower Girl stamped on a silver or gold heart.

Beaded bracelets are also a fun option for little girls who love colorful accessories. Just be careful of giving jewelry with small pieces to very young children.

12. Special Shirt

If your ideal flower girl is a future fashionista, a stylish shirt that reads Flower Girl is the perfect way to ask her to be in your ceremony. Plus, this is another customizable option. You can cater to your flower girl’s taste with:

  • A casual t-shirt with bold words
  • A long-sleeved shirt with bedazzled letters
  • A ruffled top with glittery text

13. Personalized Pillow

By proposing to your flower girl with a soft pillow that has the words Flower Girl embroidered on it, you provide her with something that she can keep long after the wedding is over.

You can even include other information on the pillow, such as:

  • Her name
  • The wedding date and location
  • A special message

14. Confetti Popper

A super easy and fun way to propose to younger flower girls is with a confetti popper. You can put the message on the outer wrapper and pop the confetti when she accepts, or have your question concealed inside so that when she pulls the popper, your message bursts out along with the confetti.

15. Poster

If your flower-girl-to-be is an aspiring artist, try asking her with a custom poster she can color in to reveal your message. You can vary the complexity of the design depending on the age and coloring ability of your flower girl.

You can even include a brand new package of crayons, markers, or colored pencils with the poster. Anyone who’s ever fallen in love with new school supplies will understand the lure of a fresh pack of coloring utensils.

16. Secret Sunglasses

Maybe the special child in your life is a little shy—you’d love to have her be a part of the wedding, but you know she hates being the center of attention. A little subterfuge might be the perfect solution for both you and her.

When you ask her to join the wedding party, give her a special pair of sunglasses. Tell her that those sunglasses will keep her safe while she walks down the aisle ahead of you. Children love the idea of magical clothing that makes them invisible or protects them when they’re feeling anxious.

Perfect Proposal Tips

There are a few things you’ll want to do to ensure that the proposal and the entire wedding experience go smoothly for your flower girl.

Ask Her Parents First

Even if the little girl in question is your niece or the daughter of your best friend, you’ll need to get the yes from her parents before you ask her. While you might think they’ll be delighted to have their daughter be a part of your wedding, it’s always courteous to ask first.

This is also an excellent way to find out a little more about your future flower girl. Parents can give you an update on her current likes, dislikes, and mood. This will help you plan the right type of proposal.

Explain Her Duties

Even if she has some idea of what a flower girl does, it’ll be helpful for her to hear it from you. A typical flower girl’s list of duties includes:

  • Posing for photos before and after the ceremony
  • Walking down the aisle in front of the bride
  • Carrying a basket with flower petals (or other items) that she tosses in front of her as she walks
  • Having a blast and dancing at the reception

When you explain what’s expected of her during your wedding, your flower girl will feel like she’s an important part of your special day.

Describe the Wedding

Another way to get her excited about your wedding is to describe what the event will look like. You can tell her about the decor, the activities, and the cake. This is sure to build her anticipation of the big day.

Even better than telling her is showing her. If you have a wedding website, you can give your flower girl a preview of the wedding colors and venue. She’ll love the visual sneak peek.

If you’ve been procrastinating on building that wedding website, delay no more. Zola’s free website builder has hundreds of templates to choose from. You can even coordinate your website design to match your wedding paper.

Make It Special

The best way to make the flower girl experience memorable for your tiniest attendant is to include her throughout the process. You can do this by:

  • Asking her with a unique proposal
  • Showing her your website and plans
  • Taking her shopping for her dress or accessories
  • Calling and checking in before the wedding
  • Including her in the pre-wedding hair and makeup extravaganza
  • Taking special photos together at the wedding

Just a little extra effort on your part will ensure that she has a wonderful time.

Who Should Be Your Flower Girl?

The choice of who will be your flower girl is entirely up to you, but it can be helpful to take the following aspects into consideration when deciding who to ask:

  • Age – Girls between five and eight years old are usually the best candidates for flower girls. At this age, they’re old enough to follow directions and less likely to be afraid of walking down the aisle by themselves. Younger girls can also be flower girls, although they may need more assistance to get where they need to be during the ceremony.

  • Relationship – Most couples choose either a young relative or a close family friend as their flower girl. You want to pick someone who’s comfortable with you and excited to be in your wedding.

  • Personality – Your flower girl should be someone who can follow directions. She should also be comfortable walking down the aisle in front of your guests, with or without secret sunglasses.

  • Family dynamic – If there’s more than one little girl who’d make an ideal flower girl candidate in your family, how do you choose? Many couples don’t choose and instead have a group of flower girls. If you want to avoid family conflict, we highly recommend going with this option.

What Does a Flower Girl Need?

Once you’ve secured a yes, you’ll need to account for your flower girl’s (or girls’) needs. In general, these needs include a dress, basket, accessories, and a thank you gift.


The dress is often the highlight for a little girl who loves dressing up. When choosing the style of dress for your flower girl, you have many options. Some of our favorite flower girl dress ideas include:

  • White satin and lace
  • Miniature version of your bridesmaids’ dresses
  • Ballet costume style with a fluffy tutu
  • Pastel colors
  • Bold colors to match your wedding theme
  • Princess style with a full skirt
  • Anything sparkly

You’ll want to keep her style and comfort in mind when selecting the dress. We recommend giving her a few suitable options and letting her make the final choice.


The flower girl’s basket can take endless shapes, depending on your wedding style and theme. Some of our favorite basket ideas include:

  • White wicker with flowers and lace
  • Satin covered with simple pearl designs
  • Wooden bucket with a lace ribbon
  • Clear acrylic box with battery-powered fairy lights
  • Wire basket with bright ribbons
  • Traditional woven basket with flowers

Once you select the basket, you’ll also need to decide what you want inside of it. Traditionally, flower girls toss rose petals as they walk down the aisle in front of the bride. However, some couples have her throw something else, such as:

  • Rice
  • Confetti
  • Feathers
  • Leaves

Before asking your flower girl to toss anything as she walks, check with your wedding venue, as some don’t want there to be a mess for them to clean up afterward.


Many little girls love to wear jewelry and makeup in imitation of their moms and other older relatives. As an attendant at your wedding, your flower girl will likely appreciate the chance to dress and accessorize like the other members of your wedding party.

Some of our favorite flower girl accessories that can match other thematic elements of your wedding and make your littlest attendant feel special are:

  • Flower crowns that use the same flowers as your bouquet
  • Mini-bouquet to match yours
  • Purses that look like the bridesmaid dresses
  • Matching necklaces for the whole party
  • Adorable shoes

No matter which accessories you choose, your flower girl will love playing dress-up and feeling like she’s an important part of your ceremony.

Thank You Gift

You definitely want to thank your flower girl for her participation in your wedding. Zola’s wedding boutique is sure to have something she’ll love. Our favorite items that can be personalized for your little pal include:

  • Colorful tote
  • Sustainable water bottle
  • Trendy t-shirt
  • Fluffy robe
  • Soft stuffed animal
  • Charm bracelet

Giving her a small token of your appreciation will remind her of the fun she had serving in your wedding, and will provide her with a special keepsake.

Zola Makes Wedding Planning a Breeze

The perfect flower girl proposal will make that special young lady in your life feel like she’s a superstar. You know her personality and preferences, so keep those in mind when you’re planning your proposal. Following our advice will ensure that she has a wonderful experience as an important part of your wedding party.

Need more advice?

At Zola, we’re committed to making wedding planning a breeze. We have all the resources you need to pull off the perfect event, from our expert wedding advice to our customizable wedding paper suite. Register at Zola today to access all of our free tools.

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