How Many People Should I Invite to My Wedding?

What's the average wedding size? How do you decide who to invite? Here's everything you need to know about guest lists and who to invite.

By Jane Chertoff and Georgie Darling

Graphic of four people standing in a line celebrating
Photo by Zola

The big question finally was asked and it was accompanied by a resounding “YES!” You posted that beautiful engagement ring picture on social media. You’re both basking in the glow of fiancee-dom, when the comments start coming in. And, we’re not talking about the “OMGs” or the congratulatory emojis. We’re talking about:

“So, are the kids invited?” “Can I bring this guy I met on Tinder? I think he’ll last!” “When’s the date? I want to make sure your third cousin Ali’s knee surgery doesn’t conflict.”

Almost as soon as you get engaged, friends and loved ones want to know if they’re invited to the wedding. But, before you start making that guest list, you’re going to have to decide how long that list is going to be. So, who gets a wedding invitation? What’s the average number of wedding guests? What’s the general percentage of wedding guests that decline? We'll help you decide how many wedding guests you should invite for your big day.

So, take a breath, put both of your notifications on mute, and let’s figure out how many people to invite to a wedding together.

How many people should I invite to my wedding?

The number of people you should invite to your wedding depends on a few factors: your budget, venue, and vibe. Generally, it’s best to split the guest list between both you and your partner. So, if you want to invite a total of 100 people to your wedding, plan on doing 50 invitations each.

The average wedding size 2024

The average wedding size in 2024 is around 145, according to Zola's 2024 First Look Report. This includes immediate and extended family, kids, and one or two tables of friends and their plus-ones. The average cost of a wedding, in case you’re wondering, sits between $20,000 - $40,000.

Average ratio of family:friends

There's no hard and fast rule about the correct ratio of family to friends at a wedding. Smaller (or destination) weddings tend to have a higher proportion of family members, while larger weddings may include old friends and new. A lot depends on how big your families are, too! Don’t worry too much if you have a lopsided wedding guest list. It’s pretty common and the main thing is that your wedding includes everyone special to you.

What percentage of invited guests attend a wedding?

Expert wedding planners estimate between 25-40 percent of guests invited to a wedding can’t make it. This means that if you invite 200 people, you can expect around 120-150 guests to attend your wedding. Keep in mind: factors like location, date, time, and budget can also affect attendance rates.

Wedding size for different weddings

There’s no one-size-fits-all for wedding guest numbers. The overall decision comes down to what you and your partner would feel most comfortable with according to your family traditions, budget, and relationship vibe. Not sure where your numbers fit in, in the big wide world of wedding sizes? Here’s some guidance.

The Elopement (4-10 guests).

This is you, your partner, a few lucky witnesses (maybe your parents, siblings, or best friends), and the officiant. It’s romantic, memorable, and you’ll save money on stamps for the “Save the Dates.”

Micro wedding (6-20 guests).

Think of this option as the “Elopement Premium.” Your guest list will include you and your partner’s immediate families, plus a few extremely close friends. Most likely, you could fit your reception dinner at your favorite restaurant, or even in one of your family member’s large backyards.

Small wedding (20-80 guests).

The “Family Reunion” option means you’re expanding from the “Intimate” list to include your aunts, uncles, cousins, and close friend groups. However, your version of a family reunion might be the close friend groups from all aspects of your life. You might choose to invite your old Girl Scout troop, your high school AV club, and your book discussion group. Once you exceed 20 guests, a venue can offer you support and a bigger space to celebrate.

Average (100-200 guests).

Zola’s 2023 First Look report found that wedding guests in the U.S. range from 100 to 150 (31% of couples surveyed), and 150-200 (23%). This includes immediate and extended family, kids, and one or two tables of friends and their plus ones.

Large (200-500 guests).

For a “Block Party Wedding” vibe, pretty much anyone who shares a last name with you or your soon-to-be spouse gets the invite (unless your last name is Jones or Smith. That’s a whole other ball game).

You can also include friends, co-workers, college roommates, old teachers, neighbors, your parents’ friends, and the people who you see every day who don’t quite make the cut on typical guest lists. You do lose some of the intimacy with a large wedding. You might be so busy saying hello to everyone that you won’t get a chance to have more than a bite of your wedding cake.

With that aside, this kind of wedding has a strong community atmosphere and gives your guests the freedom to mix and mingle with everyone from all parts of your lives.

Massive (500-2,000 guests).

While you might not be marrying royalty, you may want your wedding to feel like an entire town is celebrating with you. If you have the wedding budget and the ability to invite that many people, the answer to “How many people should I invite to my wedding” is pretty much infinite. Here’s who’s often left off a guest list.

  • Your immediate family and extended family (includes third, fourth, and fifth cousins).
  • Your co-workers from your last two previous jobs.
  • Your college, high school, middle school, and elementary school teachers.
  • Your parents’ best friends and their families.
  • Your entire mosque, synagogue, or church.
  • The doctor and nurses who delivered you into this world.
  • The staff at your favorite coffee shop.
  • Your entire apartment building or neighborhood.
  • Random celebrities who may or may not show up (for the viral social media potential).

You get the picture.

How to decide who to invite to your wedding

Start with the people you can’t imagine celebrating your wedding day without, like your closest relatives and family members. Or, you might start with your “found family,” the parents who raised you, and the people you’ve known your entire lives. Whatever “essential” means to both of you, start there.

Still wondering how many people you should invite to a wedding? Asking yourself the following questions may help you decide who gets an invite, and who's kept on the reserve list.

"Would I go out for dinner with this person, and would I pay for their meal?" Or, “Will I be excited to see this person at my wedding, or will I try to avoid them?”

If you're having a destination or micro wedding where numbers are tight, it's worth really honing in on who knows you and your other half. For example, if they can't answer three basic questions about your SO, they don't make the cut. If they can't tell you what city they’re from, their last name, or their job, they aren't considered potential guests. While this is a suggestion, it may not work for all wedding lists!

Budget

If sticking to a wedding budget is important to you both, then how much you’re willing to spend will determine the number of people you can invite. Consider invitation costs, too. As your guest list grows, so does the average cost of wedding invitations.

The most important piece of the budget when it comes to your guests is the food. Start by calculating the price of food per guest. According to Zola’s First Look Report 2024, the average wedding costs over $30,000 and the average number of guests is 145. That equals around $200 per guest for the wedding. For catering specifically, it can vary widely from around $27pp for buffet style up to around $60+ for a catered, sit-down meal.

When you’re figuring the average number of guests at a wedding, keep in mind that budgets are very different across the U.S.!

If you’re imagining a wedding with a multi-course catered meal, this number will probably go up. If you’re imagining a fun buffet or food truck, the number will probably go down. Go from there and do the math to figure out if your wedding guests fit into your budget — and not the other way around.

Wedding Guest List Tip: The budget-first approach is a great way to get yourselves out of inviting cousins you’ve only met once, and coworkers you don’t really want there. However, if you don’t have a large budget, you both may have to make some tough calls on who gets a wedding invite and who doesn’t. At the end of the day, this is your day, your money, and your moment. Don’t feel guilty about not being able to invite everyone.

Venue

Your hearts might be set on your favorite winery, the museum where you first met, or even a lochside castle in Scotland. If this sounds like you and your partner, then we’ve got good news. Thanks to your state’s (or local fief’s) fire marshal, your wedding venue has a set number of people allowed.

This lets you build your list within the venue’s parameters, and gives you an understandable reason to limit extra guests. “Sorry, Sal from accounting! My destination wedding venue is a historically accurate 18th-century Spanish galleon replica that only fits 30 people. You would not believe how much room the functional cannons take up on the deck!”

Expert Advice: If you need to squeeze in a third cousin or your mom’s new friend from Zumba class, ask the manager about the capacity. Sometimes the maximum number of guests the venue lists on their website is just their estimate for the best possible experience. If that’s the case with your venue, you could probably negotiate your guest count and add a couple of chairs.

Find your wedding venue on Zola.

How many people to invite to wedding based on location

Keep in mind that the more difficult and/or expensive it is for guests to get to your wedding destination, the lower your attendance rate will likely be. There'll probably be a big difference in numbers between a wedding in your hometown compared to one in Mexico or the Bahamas, for example.

Wedding vibe

The number of people you invite to your wedding will affect the overall vibe or atmosphere of your special day. Do you want to have a private wedding ceremony with only your nearest and dearest loved ones, or do you want a large wedding that feels like a city-wide carnival? Perhaps you’d like something in-between.

Whatever ambiance you’re going for, we’ve broken down how the numbers will affect the atmosphere of your wedding, and created our own categories.

How to limit guests on wedding invitations

Limiting guests on wedding invitations can be tricky, especially if you want to avoid hurting any feelings. Be clear and specific about who's invited by addressing the invitation envelope to only the guests invited, or by personalizing the RSVP card by writing the number of seats reserved for them.

Shop premium quality, perfectly priced wedding invitations.

Plus-one etiquette

Deciding whether or not to allow plus-ones can help you curate your wedding guest list number. However, be wary of the “no ring, no bring” rule. That rule might’ve worked for our parents, but more and more often, serious couples decide to wait a while before putting a ring on it.

Questions to ask yourself when making the list

Once you’ve learned a little bit more about the kind of wedding you and your partner want, you’ll have a strong start on creating your guest list and deciding how many guests to invite to your wedding. Here are a few more tips to keep in mind as you decide who you want to attend your wedding.

  • Who would you enjoy seeing outside of your wedding day?
  • Will you still be in touch with this person in five years?
  • Do you get their Christmas cards?
  • Are you in consistent contact?

If the answers to all of these questions are yes, then the rule of thumb for wedding guest lists is that you invite them to your big day. If these potential guests aren’t blood-related, and you haven’t seen them since their wedding, things get a little more flexible. Just talk with your partner, and go with your gut.

To B-List or Not to B-List?

A B-list is the list of people who didn’t quite make the wedding guest cut, but you wish they could be there. They don’t get “Save the Dates,” and they don’t get the first round of invites. B-Listers are the ones you call when someone on the A-list is unable to attend. That doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re not A-listers in your heart, but venues, budgets, and families put limitations on every wedding.

What to say if someone questions your guest list

In an ideal world, everyone will be happy and accepting of your wedding guest list. But, in the real world, there’s a fair to reasonable chance that at least one person might not be totally supportive of your choices. If/when that happens, these useful phrases can help to keep the peace.

  • “We appreciate your interest in our wedding, but we've decided to keep our guest list limited to our closest family and friends. We hope you understand and respect our decision.”
  • "We could only have XX guests, so we invited those we are closest to."
  • "Our venue has a very small capacity limit, which means we've had to be extra careful with our guestlist.”
  • While large weddings tend to be more common than smaller ones, this is a useful script to follow if you’re having a smaller event: “We're happy that you're excited for our wedding, but we have a strict guest list setup that we’ve agreed on with our families. We're following certain traditions and customs that limit the number of guests we can invite. We hope you can respect our culture and our choices."

As one last tidbit of advice, remember this: The more guests you invite, the bigger your registry can be. Wink, wink.

Use Zola’s free Guest List and RSVP Tracking Tool to help make the logistics a breeze.

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