Mallory & Logan
Wedding Party!
Joseph Sandoval Lambert
Officiant
Joey is a special person to both of us and is the reason that we are together. Both of us have trusted him with our lives and have laughed/cackled with him on numerous occasions. From 2012-2013 Mal lived at her parent's and also slept on her big brother's couch on Downington Ave close to the University. Logan and Joey were roommates and climbing partners at the time, so Mal and Logan started to hang out more and more. With Joey's approval, Logan began to court Mal, like a resplendent Bower Bird of Paradise, meticulously curating a smelly bedroom with a mattress lying directly on the floor. Within several months, Mal approved of his bower, and the rest is history. The three of us are strongly connected by friendship and siblinghood, which is why we chose Joey to be our officiant.
Mack Donovan
Bridesmaid
Mack has been an artistic, calming, and always joyous presence to me (Mal) for a long time, and never fails to make Logan and I laugh when we hang out with her. We became friends through Ariel, also a bridesbetch, and have shared long car rides through the night, deep conversations about family and life, rides and laughs through rapids of the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon, and Mack has even abandoned me in the streets of Long Beach to fend for myself on 8 wheels. We share a deep love for dogs, Mack drew a really beautiful photo of Koda for me before she passed, it is something that lifts my spirit to this day. I am so happy to have her walk down the aisle with us, complete with her big, beautiful, and dimpled smile :)
Dr. Ariel Fillmore
Bridesmaid
Ariel, Ariel, what's her name? It's Ariel! I love her! She is a bright, curious, intelligent human that I met during my undergrad years at the U of U. She sat in front of me in one of my biology courses and I thought "That gurl has a cool beanie". Soon, she studied with me in the library, and gave me the answers to the lab quiz to save my ass. We share a love for deserts, dogs and crafting beaded earrings. Logan and I have stood on the tops of crumbly desert towers and drifted down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon with Ariel. Additionally Ariel and I have ridden unicorns on various bodies of water together, we once rode a unicorn through a rapid on the Colorado river in the Grand Canyon. She gives the best hugs and I am V excited for her and Dane to make their way back to Utah
Lauren Lucero
Bridesmaid
My spiritual guide, my prima, my sister cousin, Lauren is a powerful guiding force in my life. We have known each other since we were extremely small humans and have always been close. It has been satisfying and refreshing for me to have someone like her in my life, joining me on adventures at the drop of a hat! She came with me to the far reaches of Patagonia, slept with me in a carpa de mierda, walked with me through a torrential rain storm, and pee'd out of an artificial penis during a trip with Logan and I through the Grand Canyon on the Colorado River. She has surprised me during all of these adventures, adapting and thriving in all new situations. I am proud of her and am very thankful to have her with us on this day.
Lindsey Lucero
Bridesmaid
Another prima, sister cousin! Lindsey is a unique, magnetic, dynamic, vibrant human, and has always spiced up my life. We have grown closer in our adult years and I appreciate her loving hugs, her tell-it-like-it-is attitude, and the fact that she has let me sleep on her couch numerous times and always allows her cat to give me liver massages. We have shared cannolis together, invented Coltnnoli, and went engagement ring shopping together in Denver. She has an eye for fashion and has forced me to try on assless jeans as a joke, and when I turned and said, "what?" she was just laughing at me, taking a photo of the moment. I really love her and am happy that neither of us will be wearing assless jeans at this wedding.
Coceaux (Coco) Lucero
Bridesmaid
Coceaux, Coceaux, COCEAUX! WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT MY COCEAUX?! This child, this twin child, sister cousin, primita, I see her as my same but different self, more daring than me but similarly cackley as me. Obviously I have no sisters, but I have no younger siblings in general, so this child and her twin are the closest things (1 and 2) that I have to younger siblings. I comforted Coceaux when she was like 6 years old as she cried at the end of Simon Birch. At the time, I never anticipated being friends with this young creature, nor expected to learn from her. But now I know. NOW I KNOW, Simon Birch was a fucking sad film, and this was just a small glimpse into this child's deep emotional soul. I appreciate it more now. Now, she takes me to crystal shops and introduces me to new tarot decks.
Kelsey Lucero
Bridesmaid
Kelsey, Kelsey, KELSEY! WHAT TO SAY ABOUT MY KELSEY?! The same but DIFFERENT primita as Coceaux. Twin flame, a calm, angelic creature, with pure intentions! This is how I see this child. Child? No. The twins are both women, but as I said before, they are the closest thing to younger siblings that I have, so I protec them. I think both twins sobbed at the end of Simon Birch (what the actual eff were we thinking watching it with them?) so I comforted this child as well and, again, now I understand this deep emotional soul that is Kelsey. She is a beautiful, sweet human, who shares my love of dogs and house decor, and has also shared a cackle or seventeen with me. As a child she called me Flowery, I never thought one day she would be my bridesmaid, but I am so very grateful that she is.
Neesha Nixon
Bridesmaid
Neesha and I have grown up together, yet, she does not remember me. We played soccer against each other for many years, I even died the bottom half of my hair PINK because she did and I thought it was cool. But does she remember me? No. Alas, we have become very close friends. She was a teaching assistant for one of my biology classes and I courted her in friendship. She has made me smile for close to a decade now, we have shared summits, windy tents, watched her dog nearly drown from exhaustion in multiple bodies of water, and laughed to the point of tears together. Her knowledge of house plants has saved my plants, and her spontaneous attitude has saved me throughout the years. I am thankful for her friendship, even if she is always laughing at my "sloth fingers".
Shey Piper
Bridesmaid
Shey and I have a unique friendship. We have hung out probably 17 times in total, yet, I call her on the phone probably more than anyone on the planet. She is a grounding presence and a shining example to me of what it looks like to be a powerful WOMAN! We met in Indian Creek and I watched her power through hard climbs. I have looked up to her ever since. Anywho, I somehow convinced her to climb a ~2,000 ft. granite peak with me and Joey in Peru where I left our fully pitched tent on my back porch in SLC, we (AKA Joey) purchased a tent at an REI in Vegas, we flew to Peru, Shey bought leg warmers, I peed in my socks and almost dropped our #4 camalot from 3 pitches up and now we are great friends. She has a way with words, is a beautiful person, and I am blessed to have her in my life.
Bread Newman
Groomsman
Bread and Logan met playing soccer in middle school, which they continued to do mediocrely for many years. Bread's soccer highlights include getting a concussion and holding the East High record for more yellow cards than games played. Bread is an industrial designer, creating beautiful products that will probably never actually make it to market. Bread has a unique skill of being good at almost everything, and everyone agrees he is just a top-notch bloke.
Dane Fillmore
Groomsman
Dane and Logan met as young lads and unfortunately never matured beyond that point. Dane was born with gills and was the stunt double for Kevin Costner in Water World. He continues to try to drown his friends doing various water activities to this day. Dane is an architect and the nicest guy, and we dare you to challenge him to a leg wrestle.
Ryan Mack
Groomsman
Ryan and Logan have been friends since middle school, where they were members of the Sk8in B!tches street gang. Ryan loves going downhill in a variety of thrilling activities, loathes the uphill, and is always the quickest with jokes. Ryan is a professional meme lord and his TikTok account has 3.7 million followers.
Dr. Booker James Mack
Groomsman
James aka Booker is another of Logan's longtime friends. In elementary school, James and Logan were kind enough to teach the kindergartners swear words, giving the youngsters a leg up in this world. James is another member of the Sk8in B!tches, and is a chemist nowadays. He could probably concoct some fun substances but is too busy curing HIV.
Austin Black
Groomsman
Austin and Logan met in the glamorous world of sandwich delivery. Nowadays, Austin spends most of his time waiting for Logan to catch up with him during uphill activities and being scared while rock climbing. Austin plays the guitar and is quite good at it, just don't ask him to play Neil Young.
Wilson Kirkpatrick
Groomsman
Wilson (or Winston as he likes to be called) is another Sk8in B!tch and one of the only original members who still skates. He is typically the oldest person at the skatepark and enjoys getting injured. He owns a dog named Chicken and is a professional dungeon master for a living.
Alex Jamison
Groomsman
Alex is by far Logan's smartest, most talented, and best-looking brother. He has devoted his life to feeding people good food and preventing animals from being killed. He also enjoys arguing with police officers and buying ridiculously unnecessary restaurant equipment.
Timmy Berggren
Groomsman
Timmy and Logan met playing soccer, and Timmy was actually pretty good at the game (but not in an athletic way). Timmy enjoys inventing new vocabulary, even to the point of having words named after him. Timmy Truth Watches and Berggrening are now a part of everyday vocabulary. Despite the entire world already being mapped, Timmy makes maps for a living.
Coleman Edwards
Groomsman
Coleman is another of Logan's oldest friends and fellow Sk8in B!tch. Coleman is a master of nachos, drifting, and moving very quickly downhill on a bicycle. Despite playing soccer as a youngster, he is not good at foosball. Coleman is soon to be a father, but he will have a hard time keeping his friends from corrupting the child.
Hita
Flower Girl
She is an idiot baby and I (we) love her more than can be put into words. She is Joey's dog, named after what my grandma used to call me (Hijita AKA Hita), and she is an actual dingus. We love her. She will carry flowers.
Lucy
Ring Bearer
Lucy is a bright soul that will make you smile no matter what. She is also an idiot, but a smart one. Hopefully she will be able to deliver the rings to us.