The Adventure Begins

Jess and I are proud of where we met. I’ll share the “why” at the end of this tale. Both of us were out with our respective friends, our paths eventually converging at Old Town Tavern (OTT). The bar is narrow, forcing people to squeeze by each other, which worked well for me as Jess had to pass closely to get by me. I remember everything. The Germans wore gray. She wore blue. Wait a sec. That’s what Humphrey Bogart said in Casablanca. Jess was dressed casual, black pants and a peach top. I was swimming in alcohol. Jess coolly commented to my brother Sean as she walked past, “Who let the kid in the bar?”, which gave me a good chuckle. To this day, Jess maintains her comment was made to engage me in conversation. And, to this day, I will continue to believe it for the sake of my ego. For once in my life, I managed to pull myself together and hold a steady conversation with a beautiful girl. We got through basics: Enjoying the weather? Yup. Where are you from? Utah. The “Utah” answer opened the door to further conversation since I love to ski. “Utah? I love skiing there. Do you ski?” “I ski,” she said confidently. I’d like to point out Jess doesn’t ski. Good thing she’s gorgeous. Eventually, after some witty banter, I put on my big boy pants and asked for Jess’ number… and got it. Bam. At this point, I rolled my shoulders back, head held high, and vacated the premises. My limited game, combined with cocktail consumption, would only spell disaster if I stuck around. I hit gold and intended to savor it. When you’re ahead – and I was light-years ahead with this gorgeous gal – you need to know when to walk away. And why were we proud of this? Well, family, friends, acquaintances, random opinionated people, the airport TSA guy, the grocery store checkout lady – all told Jess and I *repeatedly* that we’d never meet someone worthwhile in a bar. Well, eat it. I’m totally worth it. “Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in to mine.”

Let me take you to Grand Cayman, June 26, 2017. [Insert time-warp music & spinning imagery] We were overdue for a trip and G.C. seemed like a perfect choice since both of us are beach goers. I planned our first excursion as a private horseback ride along the beaches. This was no ordinary horseback ride – the second half had us remove saddles and ride the horses bareback into the ocean as they swam with us on their backs. The excursion folks offered to have glasses ready if I wanted to bring champagne. It was hard to get away from each other the first day so I mentioned to Jess on the drive out that we could enjoy a drink on the beach post-ride. This gave an “in” to stop at the store and pick up the bubbly. Here was the discussion: “Jess – we don’t go on big trips very often. What do you say we celebrate with some champagne on the beach?” “We’re not champagne people.” I was shot down quick. White wine it is. On to the beach! Upon arrival, I gave the “champagne” and ring to the horse folks for safe keeping. Jess and I saddled up and we were off. To this point, I would like to think I played it pretty cool. Now, I was getting nervous. There was a lot of self-reflection happening. And sweaty palms. Super sweaty palms. The ride was picturesque. White sand beaches, crystal blue waters, lush vegetation. As we wrapped up, I jumped off my horse to retrieve the ring. Jess dismounted and we just stood admiring the view and chatting. Jess made a comment prompting me to “get on with it”. I’m not sure what she said. I think I blacked out for a moment. Was this roaring noise the ocean, or am I about to pass out? I was light-headed. Dizzy. Holy sh*t. This is actually about to happen. Here’s how it went. “I actually had another question I wanted to ask you, Jess.” I paused for a moment and dropped to one knee, exposing the ring. I asked, “Will you marry me?” True to form, my voice cracked like a 6th grader. Jess’ hands went up to her mouth in shock and awe and she said…

OK. So, readers, you knew it wasn’t a “No”, otherwise this website wouldn't exist. However, I’m assuming you would have at least thought it was a “Yes”. Well, it wasn’t quite that simple. At this point, a lot was going through my head. The most prevailing thought was, “Well, sh*t. I really misread where this was going.” Did jewelry stores accept returns? Or am selling this ring on eBay? Time came to a screeching halt. Have you ever seen the film Big Fish? There’s a great quote when the narrator talks about time stopping. He says, “Time stops, and that's true. What they don't tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.” That was Jess. Once time started moving again, it was as though she was a compressed spring that just released. She started with “ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!” followed by “areyouserious? Isthisserious?” I couldn’t believe how fast the words came out. This is also when the waterworks started for Jess. There was crying. Lots of crying. UGLY crying. Between the sun and tears, it’s amazing she didn’t dehydrate herself. Still, I hadn’t received a true confirmed answer. “So…. That means ‘yes’?” “Oh my gosh, yes!” And there you have it. Break out the champagne. Umm... I mean white wine. Let’s recap, enthralled readers. White sand beach. Horses. The Caribbean. Chilled champagne (just go with it). Oh, and did I mention the candid photographer? The excursion folks had their website photographer come out to take photos of the whole event for us under the pretense of updating their website and using us two photogenic people as the main feature. This kept any suspicion from arising with Jess. Clever, right? The sum of the parts equals a fairy-freakin’-tale. Honestly, how could that have been better? (Rhetorical question. If you tell me “how it could have been better”, just mail your gift.) I've got to brag once in a while.