Bride
Will be in a big dress not doing much. Will tell you how many pull-ups she used to be able to do, unprompted.
Groom
Questionable hairline, will be in a suit and may approach you to plan escape to Kippilaw Golf Club
Ring Bearer
Corgi. Purely honourary position as he doesn't have thumbs.
Usher
Golden retriever. A purely honourary role, as he slobbers uncontrollably and has no recall.
Mother of the Bride
Will be requesting 'Beautiful Sunday' from approx. 8pm on.
Mother of the Groom
Will be assisting an as of yet unknown number of Malaysians to avoid them ending up in Glasgow.
Father of the Groom
Shetlander, will possibly be in a boiler suit and trying to mend things (we have been promised that it's a *new* boiler suit though).
Best Man
Unintelligible Glaswegian (Shetlander). Will never be without a bottle of Budweiser in his hand
Groomsman
Yorkshireman, will be attempting to control a feral corgi
Groomsman
Shetlander, will probably have the best haircut
Maid of Honor
Will be panicking about the icing stability of the wedding cake we've forced her to make.
Bridesmaid
Looks like Caitlin, allergic to gluten.
Bridesmaid
Will be trying to get Caitlin to do things
Bridesmaid
Will be comparing every minute of this experience to the wedding venue/ bar she separately works at
Bridesmaid
Will be trying to get Emilie to stop comparing it to the wedding venue/ bar she also works at.