I moved to Boston in June of 2013, ready for a fresh start and a little adventure in a big city. I got a job serving at an Irish pub in Cambridge, made some friends there, and had some fun. There was this one coworker who was a little slower to come around, though. He was a bartender and had been working there for long enough to see plenty of people come and go, so when I came on the scene all eager and friendly he thought he could keep me at bay with his sarcastic, moody front. (Spoiler alert: we are talking about Joshua). The trouble with his plan was that I found him completely hilarious. I loved his dry humor and quick wit and tough bartender act, and he slowly started to accept my overly enthusiastic presence at the service well. A couple months later, we found out that Joshua had been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, stage 3, and would be starting chemotherapy. He invited a few of us to his house for a head-shaving party, and I ended up being the one to wield the razor. It’s kind of bizarre to look back on now, since I hadn’t known him very long and the other people there were much better friends with him, but it was an honor I’m grateful to have had, and it opened the door for us to get to know each other better...

For the next six months, Joshua would work alternating weeks and get chemo during his time off. It was a really rough treatment protocol, but the prognosis was very good, and he wanted to keep his life as normal as possible. Our schedules were such that every other Friday we would both work the lunch shift together, and it became an unspoken standing plan that the two of us would go for happy hour drinks and appetizers at the bar a couple doors down when we got done. In between complaining about work, laughing over my failed attempts at online dating, and making fun of the “smooth techno” music at the bar, we shared our stories and secrets and dreams. Over the course of treatment, the walls came down and what started as coworkers blowing off steam developed into a true friendship. In early spring, about four or five months into this routine, Joshua comes to work one Friday (our day) and told me he couldn’t hang out that night because his sister and niece and nephew were coming to town to go to the aquarium with him. I was bummed about missing a “date” because that meant four whole weeks between seeing each other outside of work, but when I found myself wishing that he had wanted me to come to the aquarium and meet his family, I realized I was feeling more than friendship. Joshua had made it clear from the beginning that he didn’t want any romantic involvements during treatment and that he definitely only saw me as a friend, but don’t think I was about to give up that easily. I was trying to respect his wishes of not wanting to date until after finding out if treatment was successful, but since I’m about as subtle as a herd of elephants, Joshua saw right through my attempt to play it cool. I can’t say that his level of enthusiasm matched mine at first, but he was probably too tired from all the cancer fighting to protest too much...

I had a note in my phone with Joshua’s address from back when I shaved his head, and after scrolling by it every few days for the better part of six months I had accidentally committed it to memory. So one night in late April, as the end of chemo is drawing near and I’ve failed to hide my feelings about wanting to be more than friends, our Friday evening happy hour comes to an end and Joshua gets me into a cab. But I was on a high from spending time together and I wasn’t ready for the night to end. The cab drives approximately 10 feet and stops, and I hop back out. He shouts to ask what the hell I am doing and I reply that I’ve decided to walk home (to savor my giddiness, just two miles, no biggie, but ok kind of a biggie since it’s getting dark). So he gets another cab and climbs in with me and instructs me to tell the driver my address. You know in cartoons when the little angel and the little devil show up on your shoulders? Well my angel was nowhere to be found, and I remember having this impish little smile on my face as I proudly recited Joshua’s address. He was probably shocked and mildly creeped out, but he calmly asked me again to tell the driver where I lived. And again I repeated his address. I thought I was SO funny. He sighed and told the driver to head to Allston (my neighborhood) and eventually I resigned to giving him directions. When we got to my apartment, much to my surprise and delight, Joshua got out with me and took me inside to make sure I got all the way home this time. I started to see that he might be open to more than friendship as well. The following week marked the last chemo treatment. After two more weeks of waiting, on the day he would get the results of his final scan, I set up a party with our closest coworkers and we waited for the news. Then I got the text. In typical Joshua fashion: “No mas cancer so that’s good.” We fiesta’d and kissed and celebrated life… it was a truly wonderful night, and we have been together ever since!

The first thing that you need to know about the Koch Family as it pertains to this endeavor (if you don’t already) is that they share too damn much. It is very hard to keep any sort of secret. If there is any clue at all, they are going to spread it around and over-analyze it to death. So with that in mind, you should understand how difficult it was to make this happen without everyone knowing…. I tried to pretend that I had a real estate class to go to in Raleigh to meet up with Chris to ask for his blessing. After having to convince Alexandra of the sham, I had to text Chris about said shenanigans. He proved a more formidable foe.. And after a hurricane cancelled those plans (in my mind), I had to regroup as Chris assumed that I was summarily blowing him off. I must say at this point I thought that the element of surprise was not a possibility. Approximately 3 weeks before our scheduled road trip, Alexandra just comes right out and asks me if I’m going to ask her to marry me on our trip. To which I replied “no” of course. To which she told me that she had been expecting it and told all of her friends to expect it and had a meltdown akin to a 3 year old not getting what they want. To which I replied “You don’t get to choose when someone asks you to marry them.” To which she replied with more tears and a trip to the bedroom to cry some more. Now I know what you’re all thinking...how could she do that to me...I know, I know, but let’s not judge her too much.

I had the ring purchased many months before our trip (under meticulous ‘recommendations’ from Alexandra...including an 18-page engagement ring book describing what she wanted). I had always planned on doing the asking on our road trip, although I needed to let the above meltdown happen in order to keep it a surprise. There was a specific trail and location that I pinpointed for this transaction towards the end of our trip, knowing all the while that I still had to talk to the same Chris that had attempted to drive me from his daughter upon first meeting many years ago. So after a few days of reflection and worry, I called Chris from the parking lot of a grocery store at the last minute (as to not arouse suspicion in the Koch family group text message). I called Chris from the car in a grocery store parking lot on the outskirts of Glacier National Park. The conversation was cordial and welcoming, and relatively hurried on my part as Alexandra’s shopping list was sparse. I had all I needed. It was go time! We ended up in a campground in Glacier close to the trail of reckoning. Only to be awakened in the early morning by a park ranger that encouraged us to leave the camp site for fear of a large impending snow….which we did. Now I know what you’re all thinking...what shall Joshua do now? Well my dear readers, I did what any normal person would do...pouted a lot and had many drinks at the local pizza joint. There was a time over the next two days that I thought that my proposal was going to have to happen next to the pancake machine at the Holiday Inn Express...but I did not despair!

The storm lifted and we went back into the park to hike that very trail a few days later. With winds whipping and light snow falling, we embarked on a hike of destiny. A few miles in, a couple of girls came down the trail and told us, with great fear in their eyes, of a giant bear poop and some growling up the trail...we went on. When we got to said bear poop, we trembled a little in the unknown, thought about turning around, but decided to keep going. Up the trail a little, we stumbled upon another couple who was wielding a machete and decided to hike the treacherous trail together yelling “hey bear” every few steps. The beauty of finally seeing the lake of my asking dreams cannot be overstated. It was stunning, and as we went to the far side of the lake I had to figure out my plan of attack. There was a small rocky beach in the canyon that I decided was the spot, and when we all got there I wasted no time. Giving my camera to the woman we were hiking with, I said “bear with me,” which she later said she interpreted as a scary bear-on-the-trail joke. I walked over to Alexandra on the beach, kneeled down and did the deed...the only part of which I really remember was her saying over and over again “Really? Really? What are you doing? Get up!” Alexandra said yes, and now here we are today on the precipice of Forever...thanks for joining us on that journey!

Instead of taking Gonyeau as my married name, Joshua and myself will both be changing our last names to Muir. As in John Muir, father of the national park system. It was a mutual decision that feels right for us as a couple, and we are very excited to make this change as quickly as the legal system will allow. Since I'm in the restaurant biz and my last name isn't of particular importance for my job, I will begin the name change process on my own. Once that is completed, Joshua will change his last name to mine in the context of being married. For the purpose of transparency in Joshua's real estate career, will each retain our current last names in a public capacity until both of us have successfully made the legal change to Muir. You can personally call us what you want in the meantime, Joshua Gonyeau or Muir and Alex Koch or Muir, doesn't matter much to us. Once all of the legal stuff has gone through, we will make an announcement and celebrate that we are finally "The Muirs"!!!