its time.

we disagree on where in the restaurant and what time of day this took place but i know I'm right. as per usual. i had just started working at hillstone and was in the back boxing food up. he was there mixing dressings. the conversation went as follows. j: you're the one from colorado right a: yeah. well kind of. i mean im not from colorado but that's where i moved from. j: is it pretty cold there a: yeah. but its a different cold the end. i know. truly a masterpiece. art imitating life. one night clocking out, a few co workers invited me to hang out after work. while i waited, down the stairs came josé in a yankees jersey. and this is how that conversation went. a: hey. what are you doing here you didn't work today right? j: i worked lunch but went to the yankees game after. left my stuff here so i didn't have to take it to the stadium. how bout you? a: a few of us are gonna grab a drink if you want to come. j: i think I had enough at the game. but thank you. another time maybe. a: cool. [walks out the door and crosses the street when from behind her she hears} j: hey! is it still cool if i come? the end. again...i know...riveting. we talked that night until the sun came up. the next day he walked me around what felt the the entire borough of brooklyn. we played pool, had horrible margaritas, talked about how the only deserts i love are root beer floats and tiramasu and laughed until the sun came up. the next day i walked into work and in my locker was a tiramisu cupcake. two months later we sat on the steps of a barnes & noble...this is how that went. a: listen. you are dope. ive had a great time hanging out with you and you're so sweet and fine. but it looks like we are looking for different things and i can't do that again. but thank you for the last couple months. and don't be weird at work tomorrow. [walks toward the door when from behind her she hears] j: wait. i think i love you and that was the beginning... of the story of us.

sometime in february 2013 i saw a different face at work. she was a female-and a cute one. i decided to make an announcement to the kitchen staff "guys we have a fresh one in the house" she was heading to the office to find her shoes. i thought "no shoes and no prince?" But this would be anything but the typical cinderella story. a month passed and i was still getting over someone from my past and that's all i could think about. turns out angela was doing the same thing. by april i ran into a familiar face i hadn't seen in a while at work. It was the girl with no shoes. she was back. So i jumped. i was a little nervous for some reason but we started some small talk here and there. Then a lot. Then a couple weeks later after a Yankees game i ran into her. angela. she invited me out. and that night was one for the books. amazing how time goes by. A month passed. then 4. Then 8. 12. commitment was a challenge for me. 2 heartbreaks and some failed nights out will do that. Almost a year later it was time to make decisions. i still wasn’t ready. Didn’t think I’d ever be. This is when i usually jump ship. And that ship rolled in one night sitting on the steps of barnes & noble. She couldnt stay if i just wasn’t ready. Thats when i knew if i didn’t drop anchor she was going to leave. forever. I was already seeing it as a “dont know what you got til its gone” story. So that. That moment right there was not just when i realized i wanted to be with her...that’s when I realized that I loved her. Love is crazy. 6 years with someone is crazy. but the thought of not having her to share my life with was even crazier. Growing up, I had just one best friend. I don’t give out best friend trophies like that. but Angela was my best friend and the best woman i felt i could share my heart with. Not 100%. I was always too scared. but i found myself at 99%. that’s what it took for me to trust the desire i felt myself having to marry her. So i promised her I would.

there were many ways to pop the question to Angerla. And leave it to me to choose the one that could end a relationship. Remember the episode of friends where chandler tells Monica he hates marriage? Dosent see the need for it. Dosent ever want to do it? so she runs over to Richards not knowing Chandler was just trying to throw her off so his proposal would be a surprise. looking back I actually remember watching that a couple years ago with ang and she was looking at me with her side eye (you all know the one) and said “its a no for me. Don’t you ever. If anyone ever proposed to me like that. I mean its just too much emotion to bounce back from. Just propose. No need to make a game out of it. There’s a chance you could lose.” Yeah...that was me. Well kinda. I will always remember her reaction to that episode. i decide not to go ahead with my own version. Plan B- i took her to the piers in harlem to sit under the sky. So I started telling her I knew she was the one, but timing just wasn’t right. I would marry her one day. Just not right now. i thought she was on to me. but then i saw a shift in her eyes. She was actually sad. Breaking. I felt like I shouldn’t do it. Did I go too far ? it was time to leave- the disappointment was leading to a night that we both would like to forget. No. I decided it was time i stepped up my game. as soon as we were leaving i got down on my knees and there it happened. Tears in both our eyes. the words- Angela I love you so much. I cant live without you. will you marry me?!

i hate to quote carrie bradshaw at a time like this but here we are. "we decided to get married...theres no cliche romantic kneeling on one knee. its just two grown ups making a decision about spending their lives together." and that's the decision we made. last year we were actually going to elope in napa. but we decided we wanted all of you with us so we picked out rings, came home and started planing a wedding. breezing right past an actual proposal. but a couple months later when the rings arrived he said " now i think i want to ask you actually ask but i don't want you to try and figure out when or how. promise me you'll just let it happen." naturally i spent the next 3 months doing exactly the opposite. "what about now?' "are you doing it now?" "is it happening?" i tapped out. then this... it was the middle of july. we planned a beach day with some friends but josé all of a sudden didn't want to go. i had already packed (quite maticulously of course) beach bags with snacks and drinks and wedding magazines. he said he just really waned to go with just the two of us. so we did. cute little beach moment. we got home starving. drained from the sun. went to one of our favorite spots in the city and grabbed some bbq sunburns and all. before we went home he said "wanna walk for a minute?" i thought oh he's about to do it! there we stood on the pier looking out at the water and he took my hand and said "baby i love you. and i know you want your rings and i know you're ready for me to ask and probably think im doing it now but i just can't. i don't know why. but i love you and i promise im going to marry you." i turned away and a single tear rolled down my cheek. then he said "and i know you wanted to be with your friends today. im sorry. ill explain to them that you couldn't because-" i cut him off and said "i just want to go home" then he finished..."you couldn't go because i was asking my baby to marry me." i turned around- there he was. one knee and all.

please follow along as we read allowed... october 2017. . . . we decided we were ready to become husband & wife and start a family. we were already planning a trip to california and thought...what if we got married while we are there. we were going to pick out our rings anyway. we are not spontaneous people like that. but we were gonna do it. had our parents blessings. had a friend to marry us. had a photographer (obviously) we were ready. we got there and wanted to be surrounded by loved ones. so we waited. march 2018 . . . we decided we wanted a winter wedding but didn't want to wait until the following winter...so we said "it doesn't take that much...we can do a wedding in 8 months...what could possibly take that much time, change or go wrong?" things. a lot of things. june 2018 . . . venue - check. dress- check. photographer- check. wedding party- check. september 2018 . . . engaged- check honeymoon booked- check photoshoot for invitations- check engagement party planned- check finding out angela needed surgery and jose would be the only one working- not check october 2018 . . . the size, plan, budget, location and almost everything else would be changing because of angelas condition we made a plan B. then a plan b to the plan b and you all received a string of emails, texts, evites, and newsletters. november 2018 . . . overwhelmed with trying to make everything work in a matter of weeks was too much. and we thought...thats to courthouse. now. we literally almost eloped...again. december 2018 . . . we realized we had minimized our wedding and chipped away at it until we didn't even recognize it. we made the choice to allow ourselves a moment to breathe and take a step back to see all we needed was time. 12.29.2019 ayyyyyyy

2018 was a tough one. not with each other...quite the opposite. we grew stronger and closer than we thought we could. and learned what it meant to have someone in your corner rooting for you when you want to give up. when life is busy being life and the trials and tribulations seem to roll in without rest. leaning on the one you love while you both lean on god is the most peaceful place. there we'll be... stepping into 2020 like (insert your favorite feel good meme here)... we prefer the one of leonardo dicaprio smirking raising a glass to toast (from the great gatsby).