Big fat Indian wedding details! There are dozens of different states and territories in India, all of which were different Kingdoms back in the day. They all had different languages, customs and as a result variations to weddings. Shiv coming from Fiji adds another unique aspect to an Indian wedding. For context the languages and customs would be as different as Greece to Russia. Given all of this, Shiv is going to try and explain the weddings as he would do them from a Fijian-Indian perspective. The wedding ceremonies that are going to be running in the roughly following timeline. More details for the specifics of the ceremonies attached later for those interested. All of these events will take place at the wedding venue - Villa Shalimar Tuesday 3rd June - Groom side o 8am –Deo Puja/ Matri Puja / Talwaan ceremony (Close family - special invitation only) o 9:30am – Haldi ceremony (combined). Completed by 12pm (Close family - special invitation only) o 4pm –10pm – Sangeet Party (Combined) - Brides side o 9:30am – Haldi Ceremony (Close family - special invitation only) o 4pm – 6pm Mendhi ceremony (leading into Sangeet) o 4pm – 10pm – Sangeet Party (Combined) Wednesday 4th June - Combined coming together ceremony 9:15am –2:00pm o Family welcoming ceremonies 9:15am o Carolyn to arrive on stage by 10:00am o Shivs side Baharat 10:00am o Formal ceremonies 10:00am onwards o Wedding concludes 12:30pm o Lunch and performances - Shiv and Carolyn family only ceremony from 2pm-4pm - 4pm onwards recovery Thursday 5th June (timing will depend on timing of sunset) - 5pm Western ceremony - 6pm – Midnight – Reception There will be other religious ceremonies performed but typically won’t involve the guests and close family only. These include Ganesh pooja, Gurumukh. After the wedding there will also be others. All the ceremonies, meanings, what to wear, what is expected of you is included below
Yes this is partly true. As mentioned, all Indian cultures have differences. Shiv comes from a traditional Fijian Indian culture where they don’t have meat or alcohol at religious events or at all. Fun fact, Shiv grew up a vegetarian. The reasoning behind this is that wherever you are having a religious event is considered like being inside a temple. For God/s to give you the best blessings you are meant to be as pure as possible on that day. This includes any substances or other things that could cause your body taint, like harming an animal. Some westerners may be familiar with this concept through Buddhism, where they would avoid harming any living creature and would even take spiders outside. Hindu’s believe Buddha is a Hindu deity Vishnu. As a result there will be no alcohol or meat (including eggs) at the first two days of the wedding as it involves Hindu religious ceremonies. All the meals served will be vegetarian. Obviously no one is going to police anything and it’s just an honor system. If you get the munchies externally and eat meat we’d ask you to not come do the religious aspects of the wedding or jump on stage to affect the blessings. Obviously don’t bring anything into the estate grounds during this period. There will be plenty of meat / alcohol on the 3rd day of the wedding. This will involve the western ceremony and reception. It is proverbial free for all in this regard at this point. Shiv has made it clear he won’t be a vegetarian or avoid alcohol at any time after this point!!
This is a two parter and one of them is self-serving Firstly, we would like to say that we are blessed to already have everything we need so gifts aren’t needed. We are also very grateful to everyone for taking the time and spending the money it takes to come to Bali to help us celebrate our wedding. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Saying this, culturally we know that there will be some obligations so we’ll have a wishing well present for those who want to contribute, but again this is no expectation. Secondly, there has been some concern recently re: alcohol and overseas destinations. That combined with the significant price for taxes on local drinks, we are asking each family / couple to bring a bottle of spirits from duty free (non Indonesian side) to donate for the western wedding / reception. There will be a mixologist making drinks for people so we can get creative. Whatever bottles are remaining will be shared over the following few days at the resort that follows. We’ll aim to co-ordinate this to a certain extent, however if you have a specific type of drink in mind that you only have, let us know and we’ll put that down. Thanking you all in advance for this.
It is customary for the bride and grooms closest friends and relatives to be so overcome with joy that they break out into a dance. If you have seen a Bollywood movie then you might be surprised that everyone dances in unison. The closest might dance at the wedding and reception. Given that only the closest family and friends are invited likely most people will be overcome with emotion that everyone is likely to dance. If people are feeling so emotional but perhaps want some help learning dance moves you have many options. Shiv has reached out to 3 Indian dance companies that he has previously danced with and has this information to share. In the past he has found you’ll need 5-10 practices depending on your skill level - Ignite Bollywood, ignitebollywood.com.au or 0423080724. Have many different options, mention Shiv for a discount - Bindas Dance company, https://bindaasbollywood.com.au/, these are the ones we used for Krishna’s dances, both Sangeet and Reception. Private classes up to 5 peopl $150 per hour, 6-10ppl $165, $5 discount per class hour if 3 or more sessions. Located in Brunswick and Cranbourne. Male teachers can come to your place for the above + $15 travel fee - Jhoombollywood, https://jhoombollywood.com/, “Hi Shiv! We don’t do choreography like we used to due to limited time ie back in the day I could commit to multiple rehearsals. Now I usually offer a one off class (with video recording) where I teach a song that can be approximately 2min performance” This likely would be most economical
We just want to make it clear from the beginning, there are no expectation for anyone from a Western culture to wear Indian outfits. We realise the complexities and costs of everything involved in a big fat Indian wedding. For males wearing slacks and shirt is acceptable and females a nice dress is fine. Saying that, this might be a great opportunity to wear something you may never get a chance to again. Typically the results are amazing and it will add to the fun. If there was a desire to get involved, then you will have to factor in many things for this. In principle you would generally have a different style, colours for each of the different events; Haldi, Mendhi, Sangeet, and the Indian wedding ceremony. Further details are explained at the bottom under each ceremony outlining the typical dress style. The only matching thing that would be required here is the men on Shiv’s side would likely have matching scarves / hats for the Bharat entrance / main wedding day and likely a similar colour theme for attire. This is yet to be confirmed but it is something to factor in if you want to get involved.
If you did want to get involved you do have options 1. Jump online and search for each outfit and order something (medium costs level) a website like this is a good example. https://www.mirraw.com/men 2. Go to an Indian outfit store and try on different things to see what looks / feels best (likely most costly) 3. Find your size and style, send a comprehensive list and money to Shivs mum who will be going to India at the end of February for wedding shopping. The outfits would then be made for you and shipped back via freight (most economical but you will be stuck with that fit – typically we then sometimes get things altered) 4. Talk to an Indian friend. Most Indian women would have dozens of Sari’s, Lehengas or Salwar Kameez of different colours that you can probably borrow. For the men, same thing but possibly a smaller selection of male things. (costs are typically free) 5. A great option would be to do a mix, get something official for the wedding / coming together ceremony
Attending an Indian wedding is a vibrant and culturally rich experience, and dressing appropriately is key to embracing the occasion. Indian weddings are known for their grandeur, colours, and traditions, often stretching over several days with various ceremonies. Here’s a guide to help you choose the perfect attire: 1. Understanding the Occasion Indian weddings are multi-day events with distinct ceremonies like the Mehendi (henna ceremony), Sangeet (music and dance night), the main wedding ceremony, and the reception. Each event has its unique vibe and style, so your outfit should align with the specific function. 2. Traditional Options For women, traditional Indian outfits are ideal: • Saree: A six-to-nine-yard-long draped garment is elegant and timeless. Opt for bright, celebratory colors like red, pink, orange, green, or gold. Sarees in silk, chiffon, or georgette with intricate embroidery, sequins, or zari work are particularly popular for weddings. • Lehenga Choli: This consists of a flared skirt (lehenga), a fitted blouse (choli), and a dupatta (scarf). Lehengas are ornate and perfect for festive occasions. Choose designs with heavy embroidery, mirror work, or bead detailing. • Anarkali Suit: This is a long, flowing dress-like outfit paired with fitted pants and a dupatta. Anarkalis are elegant and versatile, making them a great choice for pre-wedding ceremonies. 3. Colours and Fabrics Indian weddings celebrate vibrancy. Avoid black and white, as they are often associated with mourning or simplicity in Indian culture. Instead, go for jewel tones, pastels, or rich gold and silver. Fabrics like silk, brocade, velvet, or chiffon work well, lending an air of luxury and celebration.
4. Accessorize Thoughtfully Accessories are essential to complete your look: • Jewellery: Statement pieces like chandelier earrings, bangles, necklaces, and maang tikka (forehead ornament) add a regal touch. • Footwear: Opt for embellished juttis (flat Indian shoes) or sandals that complement your outfit. Comfort is crucial, as you may be on your feet for long hours. • Hair and Makeup: Hairstyles like braids, buns, or loose waves adorned with fresh flowers or hair jewellery are common. Bold eye makeup and red or pink lips often match the vibrant attire. 5. Respecting Traditions Indian weddings are rooted in cultural and religious traditions. Modesty is appreciated, so avoid revealing or overly tight outfits. Ensure your dupatta or pallu (the draped portion of the saree) is styled gracefully. 6. Tips for Westerners If you're unfamiliar with wearing traditional Indian clothing, consider renting or purchasing from Indian boutiques or online stores. Tailoring may be necessary for the perfect fit. Observing what other guests wear can also help you adapt and feel comfortable. Final Thoughts Dressing for an Indian wedding as a female guest is a chance to immerse yourself in a culture rich in colour, artistry, and celebration. By embracing traditional attire and accessorizing thoughtfully, you’ll not only respect the customs but also feel part of the joyous festivities.
Indian weddings are grand and colourful affairs, and the attire reflects the celebratory spirit of the events. For male guests, wearing traditional or fusion Indian outfits is a way to honour the culture and participate fully in the festivities. Here’s a guide to help you dress appropriately: 1. Understanding the Occasion Indian weddings often span several days, with distinct events like the Mehendi (henna ceremony), Sangeet (music and dance night), the main wedding ceremony, and the reception. Each event may call for a different level of formality, but traditional wear is always appreciated. 2. Traditional Attire for Men Men’s traditional Indian wedding attire includes the following options: • Sherwani: A long, fitted coat-like garment, often intricately embroidered. Sherwanis are typically paired with churidar pants (tight-fitting trousers) or dhotis (draped bottoms). They are perfect for the main wedding ceremony or reception. • Kurta Pajama: A classic outfit consisting of a long tunic (kurta) and loose trousers (pajama). For weddings, opt for kurtas made of silk or jacquard fabric with embellishments or embroidery to add a festive touch. • Achkan: Similar to a sherwani but lighter in design, an achkan is a good choice for semi-formal events like the Sangeet or Mehendi. • Jodhpuri Suit: Also known as a Bandhgala, this is a stylish fusion of Western and Indian attire, featuring a fitted jacket with traditional Indian detailing, paired with trousers. • Dhoti-Kurta: A traditional outfit consisting of a dhoti (a draped cloth worn around the waist) and a kurta. It’s particularly popular in South Indian and Bengali weddings. 3. Colours and Fabrics Indian weddings celebrate vibrancy and opulence. Colours like maroon, gold, royal blue, emerald green, and ivory are popular. Bright hues are especially suited for pre-wedding events, while the main ceremony calls for more formal tones.
4. Accessories to Elevate Your Look Accessories are essential to complete the outfit: • Footwear: Mojaris or juttis (traditional Indian shoes) pair perfectly with ethnic wear. Avoid sneakers or Western-style shoes unless wearing a fusion outfit. • Headgear: For traditional weddings, particularly North Indian ones, wearing a turban or safa (ceremonial headgear) is customary for male guests. • Stole or Dupatta: A silk or embroidered stole draped over the shoulder can enhance the look of a sherwani or kurta. • Jewellery: Simple chains, brooches, or even traditional necklaces for men (like a kantha mala) can add elegance. 5. Fusion Wear If you prefer a mix of Western and Indian styles, consider wearing a Nehru jacket over a kurta-pajama or pairing a Bandhgala jacket with trousers. These options are modern and versatile while still honouring Indian traditions. 6. Respecting Traditions Modesty and respect for cultural norms are important. Avoid overly casual attire like T-shirts, jeans, or sneakers. Pay attention to the dress code mentioned in the invitation, as some ceremonies might have specific requirements, such as wearing white or gold. Final Thoughts Dressing for an Indian wedding as a male guest is an opportunity to embrace the rich cultural heritage and stand out in elegant, festive attire. Whether you choose a classic sherwani or a stylish Nehru jacket, your outfit should reflect the joy and grandeur of the celebration.
From a Fijian-Indian perspective, the Talwaan (Sword) and Dharti (Earth) Pooja Ceremony retains its core spiritual and cultural significance but reflects the unique adaptations and influences of the Indo-Fijian community. This ceremony honours traditional Indian values of protection, strength, and respect for the earth, with cultural nuances shaped by Fijian heritage. Here’s how you can explain it to a Western audience: 1. What Is the Ceremony About? The Talwaan (Sword) and Dharti (Earth) Pooja are symbolic rituals: • Talwaan (Sword): Represents protection, justice, and strength, symbolizing the groom's readiness to protect his family and uphold righteousness. • Dharti (Earth): Honors the earth as the giver of life, signifying grounding, fertility, and the interconnectedness of humans with nature. Together, the ceremony seeks blessings for strength, stability, and harmony in married life. 2. Unique Fijian-Indian Context • Cultural Fusion: Fijian Indians trace their roots to Indian indentured laborers brought to Fiji by the British in the 19th century. Their traditions are an amalgamation of Indian rituals, simplified or adapted to the Fijian setting. • Connection to Land: The emphasis on the earth holds special meaning in Fiji, where the land and environment are deeply respected as part of daily life. 3. The Ceremony Itself • Setting: The ceremony often takes place outdoors, in a garden or near the home, reflecting Fiji’s natural beauty and connection to the environment. • Ritual Elements: o Talwaan (Sword): A ceremonial sword, often passed down as a family heirloom or specially crafted, is blessed during the pooja. o Dharti (Earth): A small area of soil is prepared and worshipped with offerings like flowers, water, and incense. • Prayers and Blessings: A priest or elder leads prayers invoking blessings for the groom and the couple's future life together.
4. Spiritual and Cultural Significance • Talwaan (Sword): Symbolizes the groom's role as a protector of his family and his ability to uphold justice. o Reflects strength and courage, qualities traditionally revered in Indo-Fijian culture. • Dharti (Earth): Acknowledges the earth's life-giving and sustaining role. o Emphasizes humility, gratitude, and living in harmony with nature. • Unity of Forces: The ceremony blends the masculine (sword) and feminine (earth) energies, representing balance and harmony. 5. Fijian-Indian Nuances • Community Involvement: Fijian-Indian weddings are deeply communal. Family and friends actively participate, offering prayers and blessings. • Simplified Rituals: The ceremony is often shorter and more straightforward than in India but retains its essential symbolism. • Local Adaptations: The setting and elements, such as tropical flowers and Fijian-style decor, reflect the natural and cultural richness of Fiji. 6. Atmosphere • Sacred and Joyous: While the pooja is a solemn ritual, it is also a time for family bonding and collective blessings. • Bright and Vibrant: The ceremony is infused with colourful attire, floral decorations, and the warmth of the Fijian-Indian community spirit. In Summary For Fijian Indians, the Talwaan and Dharti Pooja Ceremony reflects a deep respect for cultural roots, adapted to the Fijian context. It blends the traditional Indian values of strength, justice, and connection to the earth with the simplicity and communal spirit of Fiji. It prepares the groom (and couple) for a harmonious life together, with blessings from family, nature, and the divine.
The Haldi ceremony is a pre-wedding ritual in Indian culture, particularly prominent in Hindu weddings and observed in other South Asian communities. It’s a joyous and meaningful event, often compared to a bridal shower or rehearsal dinner in the West, but with distinct spiritual and cultural significance. Here’s a breakdown for a Western audience: 1. Purpose and Meaning The Haldi ceremony involves applying a paste made of turmeric (called "haldi" in Hindi), sandalwood, rose water, and sometimes other ingredients to the bride and groom. This paste is believed to: • Purify and cleanse: Turmeric has antiseptic and beautifying properties, making it a natural cleanser. • Bless the couple: It is thought to protect the couple from negative energies and bring good luck. • Symbolize auspiciousness: The golden-yellow colour of turmeric represents happiness, prosperity, and new beginnings. 2. The Ceremony Itself • Who participates: Close family and friends of the bride and groom. • Setting: It usually takes place at the bride’s and groom’s homes or a family gathering space, often outdoors or in a decorated area. • Ritual: Family members and loved ones take turns applying the turmeric paste to the couple’s face, arms, hands, and feet. This is done with love, blessings, and often laughter. 3. Cultural and Festive Atmosphere • Music and Dance: The event is lively, accompanied by traditional songs, music, and sometimes dance. • Attire: Participants wear bright, festive clothing, often in shades of yellow or orange to match the theme. • Mood: It's light-hearted and filled with joy, as it marks the countdown to the wedding day
4. Symbolism and Fun • Tradition Meets Fun: While rooted in tradition, the ceremony is also a playful event. Friends and family sometimes smear extra turmeric paste on the bride or groom in good humor. • Ritual Bath: After the Haldi, the bride and groom typically bathe to wash off the paste, symbolizing the start of a new phase of life. 5. Spiritual and Social Significance • It’s an intimate gathering, allowing loved ones to shower blessings and strengthen bonds before the grand wedding festivities. In essence, the Haldi ceremony is a blend of spirituality, cultural heritage, and joyful celebration—a heartfelt way to prepare the couple emotionally and symbolically for their journey ahead.
The Mehndi ceremony is a vibrant pre-wedding celebration in Indian and South Asian culture. It’s a colourful and festive event centered around the application of henna (called mehndi in Hindi and Urdu) to the bride and other attendees. Here’s how you can explain it to a Western audience: 1. What Is Mehndi? • Henna Paste: Mehndi is a natural dye made from the henna plant. It is applied in intricate patterns on the hands, arms, and feet. • Temporary Art: The designs are temporary, typically lasting 1–3 weeks, and they darken over the first day or two. 2. Purpose and Significance The Mehndi ceremony is both a beauty ritual and a cultural tradition: • Beauty and Elegance: The intricate designs symbolize joy, beauty, and festivity. • Blessings: Henna is considered auspicious, bringing good luck and blessings for the bride and her new life. • Symbolism of Colour: The deep colour of the henna is believed to represent the strength of love and affection between the couple. 3. The Ceremony Itself • Who Attends: Typically, it’s a women-focused event, though modern celebrations often include men as well. • Focus on the Bride: The bride’s hands and feet are adorned with the most elaborate designs, which can include depictions of the groom’s name or meaningful motifs. • Guests Join In: Female friends and family members also have simpler henna designs applied. 4. Festive Atmosphere • Music and Dance: Traditional folk songs and dances are central to the event, creating a lively and joyous atmosphere. • Bright Colours: The venue is decorated in vibrant hues like yellow, orange, pink, and green, often with flowers and fairy lights. • Traditional Attire: Guests wear colourful, festive outfits, and the bride typically dons green or yellow.
5. Symbolism and Fun • Bride’s Henna Game: One popular tradition involves hiding the groom's name or initials in the bride’s henna designs, which he must find during the wedding. • Time to Bond: The ceremony allows the bride to relax and enjoy time with her loved ones before the wedding. 6. Spiritual and Emotional Significance • Preparation for Marriage: The ceremony symbolizes the bride’s readiness for her new life, with her family and friends offering their blessings. • A Sacred Ritual: Henna is believed to have cooling properties and spiritual benefits, providing calm and protection. In summary, the Mehndi ceremony is like a bridal shower in the West, but with a much richer blend of tradition, spirituality, and cultural festivity. It’s a time to celebrate love, joy, and togetherness before the big day!
The Sangeet ceremony is a vibrant and joyous pre-wedding celebration in Indian and South Asian weddings. It’s one of the most anticipated events, filled with music, dance, and laughter. Here's how you can explain it to a Western audience: 1. What Is the Sangeet Ceremony? The word Sangeet means "music" in Hindi and Sanskrit, and the ceremony is a celebration of the upcoming union of two families through music and dance. • Purpose: It’s an opportunity for both families to come together, bond, and celebrate in a fun and festive environment. • Participants: The bride, groom, their families, friends, and sometimes even extended relatives. 2. The Atmosphere • Vibrant and Lively: Think of it as a mix between a wedding rehearsal dinner and a dance party but with a cultural twist. • Decor and Dress: The venue is usually adorned with colourful decorations, lights, and flowers. Guests wear traditional Indian attire like sarees, lehengas, or sherwanis, often in bright, celebratory colours. • Performances: The highlight of the event is choreographed dance performances by family members and friends, set to Bollywood or traditional music. 3. What Happens During the Sangeet? • Group Dances: Both sides of the family prepare fun, sometimes humorous, dance routines. It’s common for the bride’s family to perform a dance and the groom’s family to respond with their own. • Bride and Groom Performances: The couple may join the fun with their own dance or skit, showcasing their love story. • Music and Singing: Traditional folk songs or modern Bollywood tracks set the mood. Guests might sing humorous songs teasing the bride and groom. • Dhol and DJ: Traditional drums (dhol) and modern DJs create an electrifying fusion of traditional and contemporary music.
4. Cultural Significance • Unity: It’s about uniting two families and creating memories together before the wedding day. • Tradition Meets Fun: Originally focused on women singing traditional songs, the Sangeet has evolved to include everyone, blending old customs with modern entertainment. • Blessings: The joy and laughter are seen as a way to bless the couple with happiness and harmony. 5. How It’s Similar to Western Traditions • Rehearsal Dinner Vibes: Like a rehearsal dinner, the Sangeet is a pre-wedding event where families interact and celebrate. • Dance and Entertainment: It’s like a wedding reception but happens before the wedding and focuses more on family participation. • Inclusive and Personal: Much like personalized wedding events, the Sangeet often includes skits, speeches, or slideshows about the couple. 6. Why It’s Special • The Sangeet is about pure joy and togetherness. It’s a chance for everyone to let loose, celebrate love, and create unforgettable memories. • For a Western guest, attending a Sangeet is a unique experience that showcases the warmth, energy, and vibrancy of South Asian wedding traditions. In essence, the Sangeet is a party, performance, and bonding event all rolled into one—a quintessential example of the celebratory spirit of South Asian weddings.
- There are some recommended vaccinations for travelling to Bali - For more information please see the smart traveller website which has additional information. Please see the link here. We also recommend seeing your GP. - https://www.smartraveller.gov.au/destinations/asia/indonesia?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA4rK8BhD7ARIsAFe5LXLc7sXFm7UUfri2PoXtJrISCLC-BSP3CrqY-hAFndKPGAzbruM8Ir4aAnMiEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
- If you are good with Phone Apps then it is highly recommended that you get a local SIM card. If you ask your driver from the airport to stop at a town to get a local SIM card he will do that for no extra charge. You can also buy a SIM card at the airport but they usually are more expensive. The SIM store will then ask how long you are there, 1 week, 2, 1 <Month or longer and then give you a SIM card to use for that time frame. They all cost different amounts. This will then give you access for local phone calls and give you access to the internet through out Bali. If you plan to travel to different destinations this is a good option. - It is also possible to download an 'E-SIM' for Bali but it is a bit more complicated to do. If you know what it is then there is no point me explaining it as I'm sure you are tech savvy enough to do it yourself
- Bali is one of the safest destinations for travel for young children. Please read this website for more information. https://www.lonelyplanet.com/articles/bali-indonesia-with-kids - We are planning to make this as kid friendly as possible. - Most foreigners employ a private nanny to follow them for the week. These people are inexpensive and lovely with your children. You are welcome to eqnuire with your villa host for them - At the wedding Villa itself , we'll be asking the Villa to arrange a 'kids' club style activities with a host or two for when the ceremonies are not on. If you have a private nanny, they can help your kids whilst they join in the fun. - At the post wedding holiday, the Mecure has a kids club which is why we picked that destination, so you can have them there as well - If you don't want to bring your kids, that is completely understandable if you want some time away. If you do bring them that is great also. Currrently there are over 20kids below 10 years of age confirmed with 10 more to confirm. So they'll have great company. - Side note, for those without children, the compound is huge so we'll have the kids club activities near (within eye sight) but not directly at the wedding function.