Bride
Firecracker of a woman, loves ponies, puppies, pumping iron. Passionate about semantics and matching socks. Made Matthew tap out of a choke hold. Do not touch when hungry.
Groom
Beast of a man and pro level snuggler. Loves video games, picking up heavy things then putting them back down, and issuing speeding tickets. Has food aggression.
Matron of Honor
Professional athlete who embarks wisdom upon us mere mortals and weaklings. A ginger fury that is a force to be reckoned with. Has the most amazing hair, loves hugs.
Best Man
Enjoys shooting the pew pews, whiskey connoisseur, and devising new ways of picking up heavy things and caring them around. Epic beard, feel free to touch.
Bridesmaid
Running savant, pac man enthusiast, OCR extraordinaire. Will pet any and all available puppies, steal them and run away. Stay a minimum of 10 feet back if not fed in a timely manner. Naps required.
Groomsman
A dude-bro working hard for them muscles. Enjoys gaming it up, gettin swole and a good cry whilst watching rom-coms while being held by his lovely lady. The beard is real, ask before you touch.
Bridesmaid
Passionate about dogs, sea turtles and staying away from chocolate because “it’s gross”. Small but mighty is a severe understatement. Will snowboard for tanning oil.
Groomsman
A bearded computer nerd who wears the golden bikini in his relationship. Will turn full mama bear when it comes to his three little ones. Sneaks carbs when no one is looking. Will dance for broccoli.
Honorary Bridesman
A professional conversationalist, knows all the things about all the random stuff. Quick as a whip and witty to boot, this ginger is a gem. Give a compliment, get twelve and a hug in return. Just don’t touch the hair.