Jordan & Charles
Wedding Party
Kate Mulley
Officiant
Jordan and Kate met when they were 15 on summer study-abroad program. They had crushes on the same writing teacher, pictured right.
Kimberly Cowser
Best Woman
Kim and Jordan met in college while working part-time in the book shop of Trinity Church in Boston. That was the last virtuous thing they did together.
William Hagaman
Best Man
Younger brother (and former tormentor) of the groom. Forged in 80's haircuts.
Joy Woffindin
Reader
Joy is Jordan's oldest friend. They bonded in 8th grade over a shared obsession with The X-Files, and would call each other at every commercial break, much to their parents annoyance.
Shelly Nielsen-Jones
Reader
Shelly Nielsen-Jones is Jordan's sister. Due to a scheduling conflict, Bill Hader will not be accompanying her.
Marykay Lamoureaux
Reader
Marykay (lower right) is Jordan's sister. A cluster of Nielsens is called a fattigman.
Jacob Goldston
Honor Attendant
Jake and Charles met in a Princeton game shop, age 12-13. They later attended Princeton Day School concurrently in high school. Charles became one of many surrogate Goldston basement residents in the ensuing years. This photo depicts one of the many resultant good ideas.
Adrian Arroyo
Honor Attendant
Adrian and Charles met in high school as semi-permanent tenants of the computer lab. Thus began a history, 20 years and counting, of their fictional personae brutalizing each other.
Ernesto Lucar
Honor Attendant
Ernesto and Charles met on the first day of orientation in grad school at NYU and bonded over common interests in music and MacDougal St. They were later roommates in Crown Heights until Ernesto started spending a lot of time with a girl in Astoria.
Doris Nielsen
Mother of the Bride
Pictured here with her hero, the Dowager Countess. Consider yourself warned.
Bill Nielsen
Father of the Bride
He's packing corny jokes and emotional sentiments.
Andrea Hyde
Mother of the Groom
Andrea and Charles met long before he knew any of those other folks.