Bryan & Lindsay's Honeymoon Fund!
Wedding Party
Sam Nilles
Best Man
Bryan and Sam met in middle school German, where they bonded over a shared interest in video games, military history, and terrible alternate history novels. Little has changed in the years since.
Monica Wesenberg
Matron of Honor
Actual Real Life Disney Princess Monica Wesenberg has graciously agreed to leave her castle and heir apparent to attend to Lindsay on this most momentous occasion. She will not give you tickets.
Derek Bacon
Groomsman
Derek is dedicated IT support for the wedding. If you need help installing a printer, please let him know right away.
Kenny Cole
Bridesmaid
Lindsay and Kenny met in 2021 on the edge of a vast chasm, to which they shall return to complete the ritual. In the meantime, Kenny enjoys movies that are often referred to as "films" and is one of only four tolerable people residing in the state of Idaho.
Nick Condron
Groomsman
With over 15 years of experience, Nick is an expert in telling Bryan to stop getting mad at games. Should Bryan at any time begin getting visibly frustrated at a die or card, or at any time utters the phrase "Oh, come on!" Nick should be contacted immediately.
Holly Barron
Bridesmaid
Holly is cooler than all of you. We should really be traveling to celebrate her.
Garrett Alspach
Groomsman
Can a man go insane from people parking too close to his car? Many years ago Bryan lead a landmark study on the question, and today he intends to finish the job.
Alec Aljian
Bridesman
Lindsay has graciously permitted Alec ownership of the surname "Aljian" when she no longer has use of it.
Sean Kitz
Groomsman
Though Sean has thus far failed to qualify for Katmai National Park's "Fat Bear Week," Bryan has graciously decided to invite him anyway.
Jordan Aljian
Bridesman
Lindsay promises not to push her eldest sibling into the Grand Canyon. No such promises have been made about other canyons at this time.
Charlie Baume
Officiant
Is she a creature from the deepest pits? A monster beyond all reckoning? Demon spawn? Or is she just Bryan's sister who has very graciously agreed to officiate his wedding, for which he is extremely grateful? No one can say for sure.
Winter Rose Baume
Flower Girl
After a grueling audition process involving dozens of professional contestants, Bryan's niece Winter Rose was selected as the wedding's flower girl. Accusations of nepotism immediately dogged the selection, and legal experts suggest the court battle may not be settled for several years.
Bear 032, "Chunk"
Ring Bear
An adult grizzly bear, 032 "Chunk" is one of the largest and most dominant bears of Katmai National Park. Capable of consuming 135,000 calories in only 10 hours, Chunk is a fan favorite in the annual "Fat Bear Week" competition, finishing runner-up in both 2023 and 2024.