Wedding Party

Austin Smith

Best Man

Brother of the groom and painfully blunt with no regard for tone, Austin is the designated beer man of the party. He has a long history of reckless decision-making, including nearly ending the groom’s life by driving his G6 at well over 100 mph down a back road while narrowly missing a herd of deer. From playing DP as kids to golfing as adults, the groom and Austin have always been inseparable—bonded by poor choices and questionable confidence. Between their shared bluntness, competitive energy, and complete inability to soften opinions, the bride is grateful that someone finally understands her attitude.

Maya Markowicz

Bridesmaid

Mother of the group, whose unofficial job is keeping everyone safe, alive, hydrated, and emotionally stable, usually from the bride. She introduced herself to the bride in college solely because a dog was involved. Then, after knowing her for just two weeks, she trusted the bride enough to get in her car, where the bride promptly got them lost on back roads with no cell service for hours. Against all logic, the friendship has survived and remained rock-solid ever since. The groom adores her and is deeply grateful she’s around to keep the bride on track and the rest of us alive.

Chris Guyette

Groomsman

Friends with the groom since eighth grade, back when basketball and bad decisions started the bond. Yeti has mastered the art of looking professional while being a walking threat to the dance floor. If he disappears, he’s definitely “outside,” but he’ll still somehow keep the groomsmen on schedule. Known as the wedding’s hype man, he’s unfazed by the bride and one of the few people she trusts not to completely derail the night, which honestly says a lot.

Bailee Marotta

Bridesmaid

The Bride's soon-to-be sister-in-law and proof that marrying into this family requires a very specific level of patience. She brings strong emotional support energy to the wedding, paired with undeniable crazy cat mom behavior, and also has a serious lead foot behind the wheel. If someone is crying, spiraling, or questioning their life choices, Bailee will be there. The groom is happy his brother finally found someone the family actually likes and who keeps his brother in line.

Nicholas Phillips

Groomsman

Better known by his nickname, Nikolai is the groom’s brother and living proof that confidence does not require accuracy. He is most likely to give advice he should absolutely be taking himself, snap a golf club mid-round, and rage when anything goes even slightly wrong. The groom once launched the infamous “purple tornado” off a treadmill and nearly into Nick’s mouth—an event he remains deeply traumatized by. He has argued with the bride more than most people brave enough to try, and has still never managed to get her to back down. The bride would describe him as exhausting, frustrating, and impossible… but fiercely loved all the same.

Rory Benedict

Ring Bearer