It's Happening! We're getting married!

I remember the day very well. I had a long day at work and was looking forward to a nice relaxing night of beer and playing video games in my underwear but I had gotten a text from my cousin, Brent. He asked me if I wanted to come have dinner with him and his girlfriend, Vivian. I always look forward to hanging out with my cousins whenever possible and agreed. He asked me to meet him at my father’s house for a beer prior to dinner. I dressed as I normally would, in t-shirt and shorts because, you know, it’s Hawaii. I also didn’t bother to shave or otherwise make an effort to preen because…it’s just dinner with my cousin and his girlfriend at a hotpot place? Anyway, after having a beer at my dads house, Brent casually informs me that I’m actually being set up for a date with Vivian’s sister. After I’m done freaking out, because I look slightly homeless, he says that he didn’t want me to overthink it and just be natural. So great, now I’m a highly anxious and slightly homeless-looking wreck. Anyway, Brent and I got to the restaurant first and had another beer while we waited. Soon enough, the girls arrived. I noticed Vivian first as I had met her before and therefore familiar, but then I saw…her. Judy caught my attention immediately. First, because she’s taller than most girls here in Hawaii but secondly, because of how beautiful she was. Admittedly, she did have a mask on (and thankfully when the mask came off, she was even prettier), but there was something about her that drew me to her and she just radiated beauty. Anyway, I stood up to greet them and tried to introduce myself to her but she looked annoyed that a slightly-homeless person was blocking her view of the refrigerators where the food was held. After making small talk and getting our food, I thought that maybe we were not vibing as she barely acknowledged me while she was eating and it kinda felt like a bad date that was being judged by guest panelists, Brent and Vivian. It was only until I mentioned liking scotch that I got her attention and it felt like she had finally seen me for the first time. As we actually chatted I was really intrigued by her wit and sarcasm as well as her fiery passion for things she liked (and also disliked). When we got to the subject of our kids, I could tell that she really enjoys being a mother to her son, Marcus, and that drew me in further because as a parent myself, I was looking for someone who is family oriented and gets along with kids. Finally, when dinner wrapped up, I was looking forward to continuing our conversation back at my dads bar over some scotch but after getting her instagram (I had planned on asking for her number as the night progressed so as not to seem to aggressive), she suddenly jumped into her sisters car and drove off with nary a goodbye or hint of meeting again. Even Vivian was like, “Where’d she go?”. I thought that maybe I had blew it unknowingly somehow but, to my surprise, she messaged me the next day asking me if I wanted to come over to Vivian’s house for dinner as she was cooking. Of course I wanted too! But I had my kids that night and had to regretfully decline. I was determined to get out on a date with Judy without the family chaperones and asked her out for the following night. During dinner that night she continued to captivate me and win me over with her charm, intelligence and beauty (witchcraft?). I really didn’t want the night to end so I asked her if she wanted to walk on a beach at night with me, she agreed and the rest is history.

My favorite sister, Vivian, is in the Air Force and she was stationed in Hawaii. I had not seen her in a long time and I've always wanted to go to Hawaii. When I went in November 2020 for the first time, I had such a great time that I wanted to spend Christmas 2021 there too. Little did I know, this time my trip to Hawaii would changed my life forever. On December 17, 2021, the second day there, Vivian asked me if I wanted to meet her boyfriend, Brent, in person. I said yes as I always wanted to meet the guy who’s makes my sister happy in person. We all agreed to have hot pot for dinner. Those of you who know me, know I LOVE LOVE LOVE hot pot. I can’t say no to hot pot. When we got to the restaurant, Koge-Aina, I opened the door and I looked around. I've seen photos of Brent before so I recognized him. However, there was another guy sitting across from Brent (I didn't think much of it, it's probably his coworker) and we walked over to them. I have to say I didn't catch Kauwi's name. I had to ask him to repeat his name at least 4 times. His name was really foreign to me so I just gave up, assuming I will never see him again. After all, I thought, he’s just a coworker. After we ordered our food, Kauwi started talking to me about scotch and I told him that was my drink of choice other than wine. He was well spoken, funny and smart. When Brent and Kauwi went to get food from the fridge for our hot pot, I said something to my sister along the lines of "this guy is cool, its nice that Brent invited his coworker". My sister looked at me seriously and said "That's his cousin! And it's his dad's house that you're going to on Christmas". I'm thinking to myself... great, now I have to really learn his name. I asked my sister how to pronounce his name. She said it 3 times and I made a couple attempts to say it. I think I finally got it this time, "oh it's Howie with a K, Kowie". At this point my sister says "Sure". When the guys came back from getting food, we continue to chat. He is quite an interesting guy. Towards the end of dinner I needed to use the restroom. Kauwi said he would show me because the restroom is actually outside of the restaurant. Not only did he walk me outside, he was standing outside waiting for me. That was so sweet of him. As the night came to an end, we were all in a car heading back to Kauwi's dad's place. He asked if I wanted to come back for some scotch since I like scotch. I said yes. But when we got there, my sister handed me her car keys. I assumed that was a signal for me to go home. Kauwi asked me for my instagram handle, I gave it to him and left. The next day (December 18, 2020), Vivian asked me if I wanted to make steak dinner and that I should invite Brent and Kauwi. I messaged Kauwi to ask if he would like to come for dinner and I'm cooking. He said he would love to but he can't because he had his kids. I said okay and left it alone. My sister kept asking me to talk to him and what I thought of him. I found that odd because I never thought of that night as a double date or anything. Call me dense, but I didn't get any signs from him that he liked me like that. I told Vivian if I didn't learn about his true intentions then there wouldn't have been a 2nd date... or maybe? I always wondered what would happen if there was no "us". Anyway, when Kauwi told me he couldn't make it to dinner, Vivian texted him on my phone with "That's fine. You'll have to ask me out another time :)" At that point, that's when he responded with "I'm planning on it. Btw, my number is ######". We finally swapped phone numbers. The following day (December 19,2020), Kauwi had made dinner plans with me at Akasaka. Dinner was great, but I didn't want the night to end. After dinner we walked on the beach at Lanikai and talked and in a blink of an eye, here we are today!

Some people like to have big ceremonies and productions with all the pomp and circumstance involved; extravagant destination engagements being filmed, gathering everyone and ambushing the proposed and putting them on the spot, etc. But not us, that kind of stuff is expensive and often doesn’t go well and then it’s captured on film and spread across the internet. (Plus Judy said she didn’t want a public proposal…) So, we kept it quiet and intimate. The real story? I bought the ring quite early on because I KNEW she was special. One night, some weeks before she was due to return to San Francisco, I had a sudden thought. I felt the need to, for lack of a better phrase, lock her down for myself. I mean, she’s everything that I wanted and I knew that she could have anyone she wanted so I wanted to beat everyone to the punch. There was no real threat of it, I just wanted to make sure. And so, after coming home from a night out, I sat her down, knelt, and asked her to marry me. She said yes.