Matron of Honor
My BFF since birth. Conveniently made every 4th of July about herself by being born. Almost died when I was five but I'm glad she didn't (would have really killed the vibe). Taught me more about love and life than anyone else.
Best Man
The original Beagan family devil dog. Notorious for always finding a new hobby; he can smoke meat but will forget the spicy Italian sausage in the grocery store. He’s a better skeet shooter than you and he knows it.
Bridesmaid
The most fascinating person you will ever meet (ask her about colobus monkeys). Got a job in college just to hang out with me more. Friend soulmate, if that were a thing. Found a cat with me in the street and kept it, and named it cat.
Groomsman
Once pretended to be Jesus. Humble Crossfitter and owned by Birddogs. Never fails to order steak when out to eat. Found his best friend in Africa and brought him home in a cage.
Bridesmaid
My very first friend in college. Taught me everything I know. Was bullied by her roommate because we met post malone. Gave me fairy godmother powers. Super mom to two beautiful babies and super wife to my second first best friend in college.
Groomsman
Extremely creative. Cries when you hit a squirrel with your car. Funcle. The best listener, but his advice is sketchy. Victim of three sisters but he loves it.
Bridesmaid
A little mouse and forever student. Inseparable friend from the beginning. Really good at cutting her bangs only when she doesn't want to. Gave Joe a lower grade by one point than the rest on his final semester paper, now look where we're at. Introduced us so it's automatically forgiven.
Groomsman
NEVER ask him about his flashlights…he will not shut up about them. Believes Taco Bell and Stouffer’s Mac n Cheese to be multipurpose. One of the toughest people Joe knows. Likes to get into gunfights on his second day of work.
Bridesmaid
The most “there for you” I’ve ever known. Tells it like it is. Doesn’t want to drive but will request mr. Boombastic. Got lit after her college senior thesis and made sure Fr. Mansini knew when she showed up to another lecture. Radiates joy and spice all from one person and that’s why she makes a great honorary cowboy.
Groomsman
Owns the night. Cowboy and adventurer but becomes sick at the thought of condiments. He finally knows the difference between jelly and jam. Don’t mess with his cats. Between Ryan and Jacob, there are no better friends and no worse enemies.
Flower Girl
Loves dressing up as a princess, so is very excited to be a “real life” princess. After a few Shirley temples, she’ll be sure to show off all her best dance moves!
Flower Girl
Will follow her big sister anywhere, but will probably blow more kisses than throw flowers as she walks down the aisle. A little tip - be sure to guard your wedding cake when Gianna is around!
Ring Bearer
Like, really, really cool, but also soft and sweet. Went from Harry Potter's biggest hater to sobbing at the deathly hallows. Guitar master and booty shaker. Really bad at mario games & makes it everyone's problem.