April 23, 2022

On June 23rd 2021, the one year anniversary of our first date and our first kiss, I asked Erin Elizabeth Biglow to marry me and she said yes. On our first date, it being a pandemic and all, we went for a walk in the streets of Silverlake. We found a flower cart, and in a romantic gesture, I made to buy her an orange rose, a color that I felt suited her. I reached to grab my wallet and discovered I’d forgotten it. Embarassing! Before Erin could pay for the flower herself, the vendor simply gave me the flower instead. Erin and I laughed quite a bit, and she off-handedly commented that it would be a “story we’ll be telling for the rest of our lives.” This scared me for a moment at the time, but the thing is, she knew. She knew right away. I had all sorts of layers of emotional protection up, at the time, but she saw right through that like a laser. She knew we had found each others’ person.

As the months went by, my armor fell away, and before I knew it, I had told her every dark secret I ever had, every thing I thought I could never share, each thing I thought would render me unloveable, and yet she digested each bit and loved me as I stood, perhaps even more deeply for my imperfections. But she had known from the beginning. The longer we dated the more astonishing it became how compatible we were and are. We both love grammar, and are quite fixated on it. We both love trivia. We’re both really into our cats. We both love to eat. This led to us getting together nearly every night of the pandemic to sip decaf coffee, watch Jeopardy, and chow down with great vigor and gusto. I gained over 10 pounds in the first six months of dating Erin because she just unabashedly gnoshed on anything put in front of her (magically without ever gaining weight), and anyone sitting near her was silly to not do the same. We both had a special affinity for Beck. The list of random similarities goes on, not to mention neither of us has had a drink or a drug for a few years past a decade. Certainly, we are not the same person. She wakes up earlier than I do. She is a bit tidier than I am. I couldn’t get her into Magic the Gathering no matter how hard I tried. Perhaps it’s better not to share every single thing with one’s spouse, when one’s pursuits are so nerdy.

It seemed inevitable that we move in together. And what a home we found in Altadena. A complete dream. Sitting on the humid front porch, meditating as hummingbirds thrum about, bougainvilleas thriving across the way… it’s a paradise. We each have our own separate home offices, the most comfortable bed in the world, a huge and embracing living room. Each night one of us cooks for the other or we order fun things like Funnel Bird from the eclectic and sheltered Altadena community. Hiking trails abound near our home. We are unbelievably blessed. And there is a tiny orange rose bush that grows at the front of our home. And my business is thriving. Folks who I have believed in for years, some for even more than a decade, are moving to the next level of their careers, booking series regulars, studio features. People I care about. Erin was promoted further a few months ago. She is a very fancy Senior Producer.

So, against this backdrop Erin and I go on vacation to Mexico- Oaxaca, Veracruz and Mexico City. Erin's been studying Spanish for the last year on Duolingo, and I'm a fluent speaker. I can't wait to share this with her. The light in her eyes as she told me of waking up early and buying treats at a pasteleria on the Zocalo in Mexico City while I was still sleeping. Her joy at visiting the pyramids at Teotihuacan and at Monte Alban… what more could I want? There is nothing that makes me happier than seeing her smile. Seeing her discover new things, and learn and adventure is all I need. And we went places I’d never been; to Xalapa in Veracruz, to certain villages in Oaxaca. Exploring together, wandering brightly colored neighborhoods. Just she and I: Someone who I have let know me completely, the person who I really am. And a person who I truly feel I understand. And I love her, without question. So with that in mind, I took her to Los Danzantes in Ciudad Oaxaca for an incomparable meal, on our one year anniversary. The food was incredible. Doblados de marlin. I had an unbelievably well-cooked piece of medium-rare steak. A flight of moles. She had a King Kamachi, or some white fish I would never eat. See, we are different! When she went to the bathroom, I told the waiter my plan. We’d pretend I had asked him to take our picture. But we’d leave the camera on video, and I’d drop to one knee. As I prepared to ask, waves of fear and excitement shot through me. Then I dropped to one knee. I choked up as I said her name, and could barely get the words out. She covered her face with her hands for most of the proposal, overwhelmed. And just nodded. Vigorously. She didn’t need to consider. She had known from the beginning. She loved that the entire restaurant clapped for us. Our hug lasted a long time. Preserving that perfect present moment just an iota longer. A memory. A “story we’ll be telling for the rest of our lives.”

Months ago, Erin told me about a dream she had in which I proposed using a ring made of grass. So I did not bring the ring to Mexico. Instead, I found a lovely person (whose website is conjurerskitchen.com) to create a ring made of grass. Annabel did all sorts of experiments and landed on the amazing object with which I proposed to Erin. But her wedding ring itself is another story. A platinum ring from the 1930's with a 2.5 carat diamond, it looks incredible on her hand.