FAQs

Question

How long have you two known each other?

Answer

19 Days and Counting

Question

What are the colors for the wedding?

Answer

A hint of lavender with magenta accents with obsidian flowers, and the color you get underneath your fingernails after working the beat fields is the tablecloths.

Question

Who’s your Wedding planner?

Answer

OJ Simpson

Question

Are dogs allowed?

Answer

Only as dates

Question

What can I expect for entertainment at the reception?

Answer

Inexperienced flamethrowers, panda imitators, balloons, Rick Astley impersonator, as well as a 14 hour loop of the Walmart yodeling kid. Oh and Gordon will be throwing quesadillas at people he doesn’t like. And the spotlight of the evening is the yodeling dominatrix who will perform for exactly 39.45 minutes.

Question

Are kids allowed at the wedding?

Answer

Only as dates