I object were the first words out of his mouth and he came storming down my wedding aisle. My fiancé Max was furious but then but then it all ended well as Maxie-pad went home from the evening with my grandma. (Barf on a spoon like I wanted my fiancé to be my grandpa) I violently threw my bouquet and veil at Abby while he said, “Monster she just take you laded madly.” Our love truly broomEd in the court cases that ensued. I sued him for emotional distress he sued me for stealing his heart. Little did we know this was the beginning of everything.

All of a sudden I hear never gonna give you up in the distance. they get down on one knee and my whole life flash before my eyes a lot of me as a little girl imagining this moment with a Ken doll. I turn around, and in a mariachi outfit is Carmax one knee. She says “If you could just give me one second before we all go, abby normal-Whataburger please make me the happiest woman I know!” Feeling all the feelings I broke into tears. Enough to rival the trail of tears. I looked down at her hand and saw a beautiful velvet blue box and an incredibly detailed ring. I melted into a thousand pieces. I said, like any cultered swine, “YAAAAASSSSS GORLLL!” I shot my shot.