Brittney & Matt
Things To Do
Looting and Pillaging
Free all-you-can-grab TVs. Molotov cocktails not included.
Vancouver Waterfront Park
For a bite to eat or a quick walk along the River, we recommend the Vancouver waterfront.
Ilani Casino
Are you a degenerate? Do you hate having money? Well then you've got a fever and the only remedy is Ilani. Come relive Oljar Family Christmas 2019 by drowning your sorrows in Michelob Ultra and pissing off regulars by incorrectly betting hands of blackjack.
Windy Hills Winery
Enjoy a wine tasting at the Windy Hills Winery. You will not be disappointed with the beauty of the vineyard!
Big Al's
Enough with the hiking suggestions. Instead, opt for getting hammered and watching 1,000,000 TVs at adult Chuck E Cheese. You won't regret it.
Saturday or Sunday - Vancouver Farmer's Market
Get some local gifts/food, listen to live music or people watch, the Farmer's market won't disappoint!
Lacamas Lake and Lacamas Lake Heritage Trail
Cool dirt running trail, ~7mi out and back. Also can rent stand up paddleboards and kayaks/canoes if that's your jam. Alltrails link to trail: https://www.alltrails.com/trail/us/washington/lacamas-lake-heritage-trail
Multnomah Falls
For some beautiful scenery and some hiking, check out Multnomah Falls and the gorge! There's also usually an ice cream stand there so if you want, you can just drive up, take a picture so your Instagram followers think you went for a hike, then get fat slugging ice cream instead.
Burgerville
Namesake of the world-famous golf tournament.
McMenamins Edgefield
For some yummy food after a hike in the gorge, check out McMenamins Edgefield.
Rose Garden
It is a garden. It has roses.
Salt and Straw
To check out a nice area of Portland and for some delicious ice cream even though just hearing the names of the flavors will initially make you want to vomit (you'll see what I mean).
Dog Mountain Hike
For a tough but scenic hike, check out Dog Mountain. Dogs not provided.