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June 12, 2021
Charlottesville, Virginia
#hucklemarried

Alisa & Jack

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    FAQs

FAQs

If you have any questions (about the wedding) other than what we've listed here, please contact our wedding planner, Reagan Kerr of Reagan Events (reagan@reaganevents.com). If you have any broader questions, please contact the Corcoran Department of Philosophy at the University of Virginia.
Question

Who am I?

Answer

Jack and Alisa are getting married and you're invited to be their guest. I don't know, are you feeling okay?

Question

No, I just mean... Where is all of this headed?

Answer

Pippin Hill. It says that on the "Events" page. Seriously, though. I'm worried about you.

Question

I have so many questions. Is God real?

Answer

Look, I think you might be lost. This is a wedding website for Jack and Alisa. The frequently asked questions are about the wedding, not just the most frequently asked questions in human history. Don't you want to know like, where to eat lunch in Charlottesville? That's on the "Things to Do" page.

Question

I just guess I just don't get the point of it all?

Answer

Yeah, me neither. Most of the other information is on the webpage and pretty easy to find. Zola thinks you might have questions, though. I don't know, do you?

Question

Yeah what time do the buses come?

Answer

5:15 PM at the designated wedding hotels: The Draftsman; The Graduate; and the Courtyard Marriott. Please arrive 10 minutes early to board the shuttles. See, this is a little more productive.

Question

Thanks, if free will exists, I'll be there.

Answer

No promises on free will, but there will be free booze (sort of - Thanks, Dr. Abbott!).

Question

Sounds like a party! Guessing I should leave the kids at home, biological imperative or not.

Answer

Please, no kids on Friday or Saturday. We're begging you. Mostly just Alisa - she's a sociopath who doesn't like children. We'd love to see them on Sunday!

Question

Does Huckleberry watch the kids?

Answer

I mean...he could, but his hourly rate is really out of your budget. Please let us know if you plan on bringing your children to Charlottesville for the weekend, and we'll reach out to you with a list of preferred babysitting services to use for Friday and/or Saturday evening.

Question

Will there be any weird relatives that I need to keep an eye out for?

Answer

If you have to ask, you're one of them.

Question

What about celebrities?

Answer

Timothée Chalamet

Question

What do I wear on Saturday?

Answer

Black tie (tuxedo).

Question

What religion is Jack converting to for Alisa?

Answer

Scientology.

Question

How much money did you guys spend on this wedding?

Answer

$342,679.64

Question

What's Jack's social security number?

Answer

718-34-5647

Question

When does the world end?

Answer

Could be Monday, June 14, 2021, could be another day. Only time will tell!

For all the days along the way
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