Katarina & Zachary
Wedding Party
Julee and Scott Christie
Parents of the Bride
Behold: Kat's parents - the blueprint. The original power couple and true force of nature. The most unshakable, unstoppable superheroes disguised as regular humans that somehow survived parenting three of the most feral children to grace the earth. Julee is the heart of the operation: wise, deeply spiritual, endlessly caring, and stunningly beautiful. She radiates both warrior energy and total serenity and will easily out-headstand anyone. If you hear something that sounds like a goose being tickled mid-flight? That's her laughing. She's thriving. Scott? A man with the heart of a lion and the physical durability of a toddler on roller skates (on fire, downhill, a hundred feet in the air, you get the point). He will probably throw out his shoulder on the dance floor but don't worry - he'll go run six miles to 'shake it off'. He taught us to face the world with thick skin, chins up, and with the quiet toughness of someone who knows they'll figure it out, even if they have to bleed a little first. Ask him about his home improvement projects. Together, they've taught us what real love looks like: loyalty, unwavering commitment, nonstop laughter, a healthy amount of chaos, and constantly putting each other first. They showed us how to outlast storms, not avoid them. We graciously follow in their footsteps. If you spot two people crying during the vows, then doing tequila shots while one applies Tiger Balm on the other - that's them. Our national treasures.
Leslie and Charles Kaufman
Parents of the Groom
Meet Zach's parents, AKA the fun CEO and President of Dad Jokes, Inc. They've loved each other since the dawn of time (or at least the '90s). Leslie absolutely radiates love, peace, and patience. Her joy is nuclear-powered, and she spreads it like it's a full time job. If you’ve ever been in the same room as her, you’ve probably already been fed. Doesn’t matter if you said you weren’t hungry, you were fed anyway. It’s not a suggestion. It’s spiritual nourishment and you will eat the lasagna and say thank you. She taught us that life is too short not to find the joy and beauty in absolutely everything. Chuck is a softer soul that thinks PFD shirts are a personality. He guided us with the wisdom of a thousand TED talks and was there for the big decisions, quiet (and not so quiet) worries, and (arguably) perfectly timed dad jokes during every serious conversation. The only man we know that could cue eye-rolling so intense it could power a small city. But behind the groan-worthy puns is a man who loves fiercely and wants nothing more than for us to succeed. He taught to lead with integrity, work hard, and if something breaks during the wedding, he's already halfway to fixing it with zip ties and whatever else is around. Together, they built a life full of love, lessons, laughter, and we are honored to learn from them.
Isla Muncrief
Flower Girl
Meet Isla, the undisputed main character of the wedding. Isla is a horseback-riding, tennis-smashing, math-whiz phenom who could calculate the square root of your dignity while serving a forehand winner. When she’s not busy conquering equations, she’s designing her own dresses because Target just "doesn't get the vision" and instructing her dolls on the finer points of couture. Isla has never once in her seven years met a stranger, only future best friends. Whether it’s her pets, family, or the random person at the grocery store, Isla adopts them all into her fan club immediately. Her co-conspirator Uncle Scott has promised to pass along his “wisdom” in etiquette, which mainly consists of coaching her through outrageous facial expressions that she will absolutely unleash on unsuspecting guests. Expect to be judged, side-eyed, or possibly blessed with a wink that will make you question if you’ve just been roasted by a second-grader. Uncle Scott taught her to target the weak, so beware; she can smell fear. Her walk down the aisle? Guests will not whisper “aww” as she walks by. They will gasp, weep, and possibly call for medical assistance as Isla stares them down with the fiery eyes of someone who knows she is the actual headliner of this event. The bride? Lovely, yes. Important, sure. But let’s face it, after her Broadway-level strut, you’ll never remember who got married today. No autographs, please.
Joel Winton
Officiant
Uncle Joel is not technically related to the Christies, but he might as well be. He and Scott crossed paths on the U.S. Military Pentathlon team, where Joel was demolishing the obstacle course like a man training for the apocalypse. Scott saw in him the same drive to dominate anything with a finish line, and in that moment, rivalry mutated into lifelong brotherhood. Joel has racked up titles and careers like he’s trying to collect the Infinity Stones: retired U.S. Air Force Colonel, national security mastermind, space attorney. His résumé reads like fanfiction for someone who thought James Bond was too tame. And now, Joel has become the Christie family’s Oath Dealer. He swore Anneliese into the military, and now he’s officiating Kat’s wedding. That’s right- one Christie was sworn to defend the Constitution, another is about to be sworn to defend her marriage. If you need a Costco membership renewed, don’t be surprised if Joel shows up in robes with a clipboard. But his most enduring triumph? Ruining the lives of Kat, Anneliese, and Kai through footraces. If you see a sprint down the aisle after the vows, mind your business; this isn't a game, it's generational warfare. Now Joel's retired in Hawaii, where he pretends to relax but probably runs the Pentagon from his iPad and schemes about new ways to bind Christies into oaths and humiliate them in races. Official titles aside, his true rank is permanent Christie family legend, and we are immeasurably honored to know him.
Anneliese Christie
Maid of Honor
Kat’s favorite dance partner (if you call head banging to Alice In Chains in the kitchen "dancing"), unapologetic Barbie Cinematic Universe scholar, and co-conspirator in all things chaotic- that’s Anneliese. Named after the pauper in The Princess and the Pauper (she's going to kill Kat for that), she’s proof you don’t need a crown to command a room, especially when you’ve got a black belt in karate and nails filed into claws sharp enough to open a can of emotional reckoning. Following in our father’s footsteps, she’s dedicated her life to serving the country with a level of courage, 'tegrity, and conviction that makes the rest of us look like confused toddlers in comparison. She is fierce, devoted, and utterly irreplaceable, and Kat wouldn't take this step without her by her side. On the big day, Anneliese isn’t just standing up there with her; she’s doubling as her unofficial bodyguard. Think less bouncer, more ninja librarian who will silently disarm you with a look and then verbally eviscerate you in perfect, devastating prose. If you try anything shady (or even remotely annoying) you’ll meet a storm of quiet rage, swift karate moves, and a verbal beatdown so precise it could be choreographed. She doesn’t just protect Kat, she obliterates problems, all while making it look effortless, and probably sharpened those nails just for you. Kat will be encouraging her gently, lovingly, with a Palpatine-esque "do it" in her ear. You've been warned.
Bryce Kaufman
Best Man
Bryce is the groom’s brother, but calling him just that is like calling a hurricane "a bit of wind." He is an academic force, a maritime soul, and a one-man historical society with the ability to deliver obscure 18th-century naval facts with the same intensity most people reserve for courtroom confessions. A history major with a brain like a library set on fire, Bryce has never met a war he couldn’t analyze, a treaty he couldn’t name, or a ship he wouldn’t sail directly into a storm just to feel something. And just when you think you’ve got him pegged as a scholarly old soul in a vintage peacoat, Bryce straps on a guitar, turns the amp to 11, and launches into a power chord so loud it shakes the metaphysical structure of the venue Because, oh yes- he’s also in a rock band. The kind where guitars are sacrificed mid set, faces are melted, and the crowd is a human ocean. It’s like if a university lecture and a riot had a child and named it Bryce. He may have emerged fully formed from a foggy harbor, carrying a Les Paul in one hand and a first-edition biography of Horatio Nelson in the other. He is brilliant. He is unpredictable. He is equally likely to quote Thucydides or dive headfirst into a mosh pit. And he is, without question, one of the most fascinating people in any room, especially if that room contains a shipwreck, a guitar amp, or someone who mistakenly claims the War of 1812 “wasn’t that important.” Approach with curiosity. And maybe earplugs.
Jessica Kaufman
Bridesmaid
Jessica is Zach’s sister by blood and Kat’s sister by choice. Though choice is a loose term here, because once Jess loves you, that’s it. You’re claimed. Spiritually adopted. There’s no paperwork, no ceremony, just a sudden sense that you are now deeply protected by a woman who would absolutely fight a groomsman in heels. She’s a third grade teacher, and not just any teacher, but a genuinely phenomenal one. Like, terrifyingly good. The kind who wrangles 20+ sugar-fueled gremlins before noon with nothing but laminated charts and pure command presence. Naturally, she has been affectionately appointed the Director of Fun and Shenanigans™, a title she'll take more seriously than some people take marriage (don't look at us). She’ll probably be fixing Kat's hair throughout the night; not just as a stylist, but as her personal chaos handler, emotional SWAT team, and bartender. And if there’s ever a quiet moment, don’t worry- she’s already behind the curtain organizing a flash mob, renting a fog machine, or choreographing a group routine that everyone will perform under emotional duress (you might want to learn the Hoedown Throwdown before you get here). So please: hydrate. Stretch. Say your goodbyes to chill. You'll be dancing, you may be crying. You'll be screamed at (lovingly) to “GET IN FORMATION.” Brace yourselves- the party’s here, the hair is flawless, and resistance is not just futile- it’s impossible. Because Jess is love, Jess is (organized) chaos, and Jess is forever.
Kai Christie
Groomsman
Kai is Kat’s brother: the last great hope of the bloodline, the shadow in the family footraces, the storm before the calm. From the moment he took his first steps, he wasn’t just walking- he was training, sprinting, plotting revenge against the tyrant known as "Uncle" Joel, who’s beaten every single one of us running (and yes, even the family pets). But at the wedding, everything changes. Kat and Zach tie the knot, and suddenly Kai’s allegiance shifts like a comet blazing across the night sky. Zach isn’t just a new brother-in-law; he’s the brother Kai always needed. Their bond? Soul-deep, forged in silence and shared secrets, stronger than any family feud, faster than any footrace, unbreakable like the wild Yukon winds (even if they’ve never actually been there). And if Kai disappears mid-ceremony? Don’t panic. He’s probably skateboarding down the nearest hill or dunking hoops with Deme, chasing that feeling of freedom he’s always loved. But the real moment, the prophecy, comes now. The final footrace. The last battle between Kai and Uncle Joel. The track will be laid. The sisters, once fallen, stand at the sidelines, eyes blazing with hope and secondhand fury. Kai will run: not for medals, not for glory, but for justice. And when the dust settles, legends will say this wedding wasn’t just about vows or rings. It was where a brotherhood was sealed, a reign ended, and a legend born, all under the watchful eyes of family, laughter, and the sweet scent of vengeance on the wind.
Deme Courtney
Bridesmaid
The origins of our friendship are unknown. We emerged from the mist of middle school, probably after someone got hit in the face with a football. All I know is, from that moment on, Deme was there outpacing me in every sport, radiating terrifying natural talent, and possibly planning to destroy my brother Kai in a wrestling match that began in 2012 and has yet to reach its final form. Deme is the kind of person who is secretly elite at everything. She is a woman forged in sweat, sarcasm, and divine athletic fury: soccer, basketball, horseback riding, probably fencing if you gave her five minutes and a stick. She’s now a soccer referee, which means she has the certified authority to eject people from this wedding if things get weird. And they will. Kat spent a significant portion of her adolescence screaming on the sidelines of Deme’s soccer games like an unstable Little League dad. Now, she's standing beside me at my wedding with the same energy. There’s a loyalty in her that runs deep, unshaken by time or distance. Deme isn’t just a part of Kat's story, she helped write whole chapters of it. Their friendship has crossed state lines, (almost) international waters, years, several near-injuries, and she wouldn’t be who she is without her. If you need someone to hype you up, hold you down, or issue a red card with zero hesitation, Deme’s your girl. And on the big day, you'll find her right where she's always been- beside me, steady, strong, and when she starts dancing- run.
Aaron Mares
Groomsman
Aaron exploded into Zach’s life via cousin Garret like a beautifully deranged comet, equal parts data science demigod, piano sorcerer, and racquet-swinging war criminal. With two degrees, a job as the University of Florida’s statistical overlord, and fingers that dance across piano keys like caffeinated spiders, Aaron is the kind of guy who makes you question your life choices just by existing. He once obliterated Kat in tennis so ruthlessly that the court itself wept, her racquet turned to dust, and she’s reportedly still in therapy trying to recover her will to serve. He and Zach spiritually merged at a car wash, where their friendship was forged through soap suds, a shared aux cable, and the overwhelming realization that neither of them is okay. He once flew with Zach in the Caravan overnight with nothing but lukewarm beef jerky and a trust usually reserved for buddy cop films. Aaron is not just a friend, he's a phenomenon, a walking flex, a self made scholar, and honorary member of the family. Not JUST family, but full-blown cast member. He's in the group chat. Someone's probably knitting his name on a stocking as we speak and may be referred to as "Uncle Aaron" a few times at the wedding. Oh, and don't be alarmed when he whips out a travel keyboard like a bard in a fantasy tavern and delivers a piece so emotionally devastating while simultaneously calculating your credit score. The DJ will bow. We love him more than Kat hates losing tennis, and that's saying something.
Carla Mckendry
Bridesmaid
Meet Carla: Vocal Siren of the Crafting Realms. Carla is not a regular person, she is a walking art supply store possessed by a benevolent ghost with perfect pitch. We met in the soul-crushing halls of music school and while the rest of us were stress sobbing over Roman numeral analysis through the fog of our existential dread, Carla was out here singing like a moon goddess while simultaneously hot-glueing rhinestones onto cardstock. Did we mention she’s a preschool teacher? Because of course she is. Of course the woman who can harmonize in Latin and scrapbook a six page ode to friendship with her eyes closed is also gently shaping the minds of small children like some kind of crayon-wielding Jedi. Her classroom is a sacred temple where tiny humans are somehow learning the alphabet, empathy, and advanced emotional regulation while she sings scales and prevents glue from being eaten in bulk. Her hobbies? All of them. Feeling sad the wedding is over? She’ll mail you a handwritten card that somehow smells like lavender and validation. Birthday coming up? There’s a one-of-a-kind gift with your name on it, and probably a playlist to go with it. Need a friend? Carla. Need a soprano who can sight-read and make you a friendship bracelet at the same time? CARLA! She is talent and tenderness and the reason your heart feels weirdly full right now. We love Carla, and if you don’t, you might be legally dead inside.
Garret O'Donnell
Groomsman
Garret is Zach’s cousin and not in the casual, “we see each other at Thanksgiving” way. No, Garret and Zach are Great Danes: large, affectionate, a little loud, and prone to barreling through life side by side with zero chill and maximum loyalty. They've been bonded since youth by chaos, curiosity, and the occasional academic shortcut. (Yes, Garret did Zach’s homework a few times. Not because Zach couldn’t, but because Garret was already halfway through it before anyone asked.) Garret's mind is a cathedral of all things beautiful and mysterious. It contains the full Latin name of every beetle you've ever killed with a paper towel as well as the entire personality profile and mating ritual of a nudibranch. He's been quietly studying coral colonies with names that sound like spells and saving the planet one polyp at a time. His brain might be on another planet, but his heart lives right here on Earth, fiercely tethered to his family. He is the kind of person who will dominate poker night and still ask how your mom’s doing. He is a lighthouse disguised as a human- bright, unwavering, and always scanning the horizon for someone who might need light. Garret is not just here for the wedding. He’s here to recalibrate reality, identify local bird migration patterns, and fix your worldview before dessert. But beware- once he dives in, you'll never see the world quite the same way again. Garret isn't just showing up to the wedding. He's holding the sky open so we can all fit under it.
Kalena Miles
Bridesmaid
Before she was Kat's friend, Kk was a rumor. A whisper. A tall tale told by Zach, who swore she was cool, chill, extremely capable; the kind of woman who builds empires before breakfast. She didn’t believe him- then she met her. She entered our apartment, said maybe three words, and immediately began assembling a TV stand like a woman sent from the heavens to restore order. No instruction manual. No hesitation. Just hex keys, vision, and vibes. Days later, we were crammed into a Twin Comanche, flying through the sky in what can only be described as an airborne trust fall. Zach was flying, Kk was glowing, and Kat was mentally drafting my will. Somewhere mid-flight, between the turbulence and prayers, we fused souls and became permanent, sky-forged sisters. By day, Kk is the brains behind actual NFL events. She makes the Miami Dolphins look good (no pressure, wedding vendors), which basically means she's legally a deity in at least three South Florida zip codes. She could probably organize a lunar eclipse if they asked nicely. Calm, radiant, organized to a spiritual degree- until her eyes glaze over in that haunted, bubbly way that says: “I had two High Noons and I’m about to lose sanity.” When this happens, you may want to collect your things because she's about to rearrange the seating chart and call the DJ "sweetheart" before taking over his job. If she marched into battle tomorrow with a clipboard in one hand and a dream in the other? We’d follow her, no questions asked.
Garrett Woolwine
Groomsman
Garrett first met Zach by hitching a ride in the Caravan and showing up wielding Chick-fil-A like a holy relic, sparking a brotherhood so electric it probably interfered with nearby GPS signals. Together, they tore through the Florida skies on aviation escapades so legendary that even the clouds filed formal complaints about being outmaneuvered. The wild adventures gave way to the professional airline pilot grind- though don’t be fooled, the infamous parking garage fireworks incident still burns brighter than a thousand runway lights, a reckless symphony of pyrotechnics that left pigeons traumatized and security questioning reality itself. Garrett bulldozed through life’s darkest turbulence to captain the skies at Skywest and launched a mentorship empire for young pilots, because why just pilot a plane when you can elevate souls? When not soaring above clouds, he and his fiancé Kk engaged in Mario Kart wars with Zach and Kat, where Zach’s Mario Kart dominance is stuff of legend, and Kk and Kat survive purely on vibes, prayers, and the occasional lucky banana peel. Through every altitude shift, every manic flight, and every late-night digital showdown packed with laughter, chaos, and trash talk, Garrett isn’t just a friend- he’s family. A relentless co-pilot in the cockpit of life, whose heart is bigger than a 747 fuel tank. Their bond is an infinite flight path of beautiful madness, fierce love, and unbreakable brotherhood soaring forever and always above the clouds.
Zoe Smith
Bridesmaid
Zoe is, quite simply, a full-time beam of sunshine disguised as a person. She moves through the world with a kind of warmth that feels almost unreal, like honey-sweet, soft-glow kindness that settles into a room and makes everything lighter the second she arrives. She is sweet in a way that feels almost suspicious. Not surface-level nice, but deeply, genuinely, to her core kind. The kind of person whose smile changes your mood before you even realize it happened. Her laugh is contagious in a way that makes it nearly impossible to stay in a bad mood around her. Zoe can get along with absolutely anyone. Strangers become friends in minutes, friends become lifelong constants, and somehow everyone walks away feeling like they’ve known her forever. It’s effortless, constant, and borderline magic. And then there’s the fact that Zoe will say yes to anything. A simple plan becomes an adventure, becomes a story, becomes walking two miles home in heels at an hour that morally shouldn’t exist, thriving, glowing, and still somehow the happiest person there. She is warmth and chaos in perfect balance. Gentle, radiant, endlessly kind, and then suddenly the reason the night got out of hand (in the best way). At her core, Zoe is pure sunshine, someone who makes people feel seen, welcomed, and completely at ease. Life is softer, brighter, and infinitely more joyful with her in it, and everyone lucky enough to know her knows it.
Colt Keehan
Groomsman
Colt is what happens when you take a highly skilled airline pilot and sprinkle in equal parts laughter, energy, and the inability to take life seriously for more than 30 consecutive seconds. Introduced to Zach by Zach’s dad, the two immediately clicked, bonding over planes, shared stories, and a mutual love of goofing off. From there, they became a duo whose humor is infectious and whose adventures seem to escalate in the best possible ways. Flying the A220 for Delta is impressive on its own, but Colt brings the same passion and enthusiasm to everything he does on the ground. He has the rare ability to make every conversation feel like the most interesting one you’ve had all week. He listens like he’s genuinely fascinated, laughs like it’s the best sound in the world, and somehow makes everyone around him feel included, valued, and entertained. Colt says yes to life in every sense. Plans, adventures, wild ideas, he’s always in and usually leading the charge. Even when things get silly or unexpected, he radiates warmth, making every moment feel like a memory in the making. Outgoing, endlessly funny, and just the right amount of unhinged, Colt lights up every room he enters and leaves people smiling long after he’s gone. But beyond the jokes, the cinematic drone flights, and the nonstop energy, Colt is loyal, kind, and genuinely one of those friends you feel lucky to have. He will be the first and last on the dance floor, somehow having more fun than anyone else the whole time.