We're Getting Married!!

It was an innocent question. I had been asked that same question by several people after returning from a whirlwind trip to the San Diego area, Phoenix, and Washington state... You see, I never saw the trip as a vacation. My response to him consisted of how fun but tiring San Diego was, how we all got sick in Phoenix, and then how wonderful the Yeakel wedding was in Washington. It was innocent, but Ben's question was the beginning for us actually taking the time to talk to one another.

After several Sunday morning services where we stayed after service to talk, we finally exchanged our phone numbers. We, then, texted every day without fail. Any free time we had was spent with our fingers typing furiously. Our interests were expressed through the sharing of past artworks we had created during our college years. It was all simple talking until the night I got an email during a Lifeline service. I was being let go from a job I loved. I was not to return to my students to teach a love of art and writing. It broke me that night. I had to leave the service because I couldn't be around people. I sat outside the Student Center and cried. Eventually, I received a text from Ben letting me know he was heading home. I didn't want to be the "needy" or "crying" girl, so I gave an ambiguous reply saying something about wanting a shoulder to lean on. Within moments, he told me that he was cleaning up and would be on his way to me. It was late and Ben came to me. And listened. Patiently, he sat there as I talked and cried. That entire night, I debated whether or not I should say anything. I liked Ben. But I was told all my life to wait for the guy. But did I really want to wait? As I got up to leave, I asked him for a hug which he gave. I turned and left him, but, as I did, I told him, "By the way, I like you." His hurried, but grateful reply: "Good. I like you too."

As I was leaving that night after we both shared our shared liking of each other, Ben hurriedly asked me out on a date. I nodded my consent and a smile as I also quickly walked away. But my mom being a mom... even though Ben and I are over thirty... was nervous about her baby going out on a date. Bear in mind that, yes, Ben was my first and only boyfriend. So, no frequent dates for me. What is a mother to do? Send a third party. My nephew, Kai, went with us to the classic car show at the Lincoln Center. It was a fun night. Checking out the beautiful, classic cars and enjoying the opportunity to talk outside the walls of the church. We ate burgers at Squeeze Burger where Kai lost a tooth! Honestly, I didn't want the night to end because I enjoyed my conversations with Ben immensely. But, as much as we were fine with Kai, we knew next time we wanted to go out by ourselves. I mean, come on, we're in our thirties!

Some time after our first date with our third party (Kai), Ben and I had our first date by ourselves. My mom was nervous... I guess when you're the baby of her children, even if you're over thirty, she's always going to worry. A gallery and a museum were on the to-do list for the day. You see, Ben and I are both artists. And, as creative people, we feed off of artistic inspirations. So, it wasn't a cliche for us to choose to go to these places. It wasn't an overwrought idea to be surrounded by the beauty of art. Personally, I suggested checking out Delta's gallery to see the "Visions of Clay" exhibit while Ben mentioned going to the Haggin Museum to check out prints of World War II propaganda posters. After Ben picked me up from my house that morning, we headed off to San Joaquin Delta College to check out the opening Saturday of the "Visions in Clay" exhibition in the Horton Gallery. Jan was there, per the norm, and we talked with her before exploring the pieces accepted into the show. Oh, the talent that was on display! We took it slowly. Analyzing. Theorizing. Conversing through our thoughts of what was. What might have been. And how we viewed each piece. The time and effort it took to create. The methods that might have been used. We enjoyed the use of space, composition, line, texture, and all the other terms that any art major saturates into their being as a part of who they are. We laughed. We stood in reverence. We allowed ourselves to be filled with inspirations and aspirations. During the time we spent at the Horton Gallery, we were the only visitors. All of the art to ourselves. A quiet moment to soak in all the creativity and ingenuity of the featured artists. After a time, we went back to his car and left to seek out our next phase of our adventure, the Haggin Museum in Victory Park.

Ben and I left the Horton Gallery at Delta College to go to the Haggin Museum which was, at that time, still under construction for its beautiful renovations. Even the grand entrance wasn't where we entered. Instead, it was the side which led us straight into old weapons display and the Native American exhibit. Now, people may wonder why the theme of "woven" has appeared multiple times in our hashtags, in our invitations, etc. Well, the reason behind that comes directly from our time walking through that specific exhibit. It's where we learned that we were not only capable of liking each other, but also that we could love and care for the other. We explored each section. Examined every basket, every piece of clothing, and all the details in the intricate designs. And what struck us both was how everything, every ceremonial object as well as the every day practical thing, was created with great thought, care, and precision. And we saw ourselves in the practicality of these woven objects. Upstairs was the World War propaganda posters which Ben brought me to the Haggin to see. It was fascinating. Seeing the technique and understanding how they created it. (Thank You Santee for teaching me about Printmaking!) But it also told how racist and ugly humanity can be in creating a reason or to justify a cause. Yes, the nazi were absolutely horrible; there is no question in that. But the Germans were depicted less than human so we could justify killing those that were basically "animals." The Japanese were depicted in a similar way. Gortesque caricatures beside the idealized image of our soldiers. Although war does have a reason to exist, it doesn't negate the cost: the loss of God-given life. Through the posters, we saw each other's hearts. He saw my love of people and how I mourn their loss of life and soul. And I saw a man with great convictions and love of country value those labeled as "other" and "lesser." The weaving of our lives together began at the Haggin Museum.