Context: In April of 2025, I had just moved home after discerning with a consecrated community of women in Georgia. Over the summer, my heart slowly began to open again to marriage and to the idea of dating. Living in Danville, IL, there weren’t many options, so I surrendered that desire to the Lord and prepared myself for the very real possibility that He might be calling me back into discernment with another religious community. June 2023 Then, in June, I received a call from my friend Nicole Cornwell from the University of Mary, where I went to college. She asked if I would come lead praise and worship and give a few talks at the fall retreat for college students at the University of Idaho, where she was serving as the campus minister. My answer was an immediate absolutely. I didn’t yet have a job or anything tying me down at home, so the opportunity to see friends while doing ministry was very exciting. October 2023 On Tuesday, October 3rd, I flew into Spokane, WA and my friends Claire and Sam Harris from UMary picked me up—they had happened to be placed at the University of Idaho with FOCUS. That night, I met Brendan for the very first time at Mass; we shook hands after mass and exchanged maybe a few words. It wasn’t a very long interaction but, I remember thinking he was cute. On Thursday, the retreat team met at Nicole’s apartment to go over the schedule and the talks. I walked there from Claire and Sam’s because I was told it was close—though I didn’t know where I was going. Suddenly, Brendan pulled up next to me and offered me a ride because I looked lost (which I definitely was). I got into his car feeling immediately nervous and thought to myself, Really, TT? Please don’t start liking a guy you’ve had one conversation with who lives in Idaho. That would be really dumb. That night, we shared about the talks we’d be giving for the theme of “Blessed are those who have not yet seen but believe” from John 20:29. As I listened to Brendan talk, I was struck by his conviction, love for the faith, and the way he managed to be thoughtful, grounded, and funny all at the same time. I left that night very aware of the feelings starting to grow—and equally determined to push them down. The retreat began on Friday, and honestly, Brendan and I didn’t spend much time together one-on-one. Still, I knew I had a crush on him. I was always very aware of where he was in the room and found myself actively trying to avoid him so I wouldn’t make the feelings worse—lol.

By Saturday night, being around him had become pretty painful. I went to the chapel and shared with the Lord how confused I felt that these desires were stirring in me. I was frustrated because I was convinced nothing was going to happen between Brendan and I, and confused by the way the Lord was bringing up a desire for it at the same time. That night in the chapel, I decided to begin a 54-day rosary novena for my future vocation and discernment (it also happened to be the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary). I wanted to be open to whatever the Lord was asking of me—even if that meant honestly facing the uncomfortable emotions I was feeling, including my growing attraction to Brendan and the vocation of marriage. The next day, I felt lighter. I had handed over what I’d been wrestling with, and I felt free to simply serve and enjoy the rest of the weekend, knowing I had a lot to pray with and a full heart from being with friends. After Mass, we had breakfast and a time for students to share their retreat highlights. At first, no one wanted to go up, so a student started chanting Brendan’s name. This is hilarious to think about now, but I remember being annoyed because I didn’t want to look at him or hear his voice; I felt like the more time I spent around him the harder it would be for me to leave without feelings. He reluctantly went up and shared that he felt the Lord calling him to a new kind of boldness in his life, one that required more courage than before. Sitting there, I remember thinking, There’s no way he’s talking about me… TT, be so for real. That’s delusional. About 45 minutes later, Brendan & I found ourselves talking in the back of the room right before Nicole’s closing talk. He asked if I had anything else going on that day. I said no. Then he asked if he could talk to me outside… internally I was like, what is happening???? Outside, he told me he had felt very drawn to me all weekend. He shared that he noticed the way I prayed, the way I spoke, how I interacted with students, and that he knew he had to say something or he would regret it. He said he wasn’t even sure if I was dating anyone, but he wanted to know if I’d be interested in getting to know each other after the retreat. At that point, I genuinely felt the need to check my pulse. I remember thinking, Is this real? Did that actually just happen? It felt like something out of a TV show—something you imagine but never expect to happen to you. I told him I was interested and that I had been feeling similar all weekend. He asked if he could take me to the airport later, and I told him he could take me on a date instead. My flight wasn’t until 8 p.m., so we had some time. That afternoon, he picked me up, and we went to a little Italian restaurant in Moscow and started with the very basics, just getting to know each other. It was surreal in the best way. I still treasure those six days so deeply—the very beginning of our joyful journey. God gave me the most unexpected gift in Brendan. Our relationship has been a real test of trust in the Lord, and we are SO grateful He has led us here!

Context I was a second-year FOCUS missionary at the University of Idaho. Each FOCUS missionary fasts from romantic relationships for the first year of mission for several reasons, and I had just finished this in May of 2023 and returned to Idaho for my second year. I wasn’t expecting to date anyone for a while, since Moscow is a small town and I had high dating standards. I happened to work with three of TT’s college friends, and one of them, Nicole, hired TT to help put on our 2023 Fall retreat. Tue, 10/3/2023 I was at an evening mass and saw a girl I didn’t recognize. Since Moscow isn’t big, I knew most people who attended that evening mass. She looked cute and received the Eucharist reverently. She and I met after mass and went out to ice cream with a group, but we didn’t feel any romantic sparks yet. Thu, 10/5/2023 We didn’t interact much until Thursday night, when we had a meeting with all of the retreat speakers. I was giving a talk and tt was giving a couple. I was driving around the parking lot aimlessly looking for the Cornwell’s apartment and found tt also wandering the parking lot, so I asked if she wanted to hop in my car and look together. I’m not normally this forward. When she got in my car I remember thinking, “Why did I ask her that? That was weird… There’s a girl in my car with me.” TT and I hit it off at the meeting. We discussed our talks and there was a lot of eye contact and smiling between the two of us. The two of us stayed and talked for a while after the meeting ended, and I was into her by the end of the night. Fri, 10/6/2023 When I left for the retreat with a car full of students Friday night, I followed directions I was given to “Palouse Divide” instead of “Palouse Divide Ranch”, which took my car and five others to the top of a mountain in Idaho… an hour away from the retreat. I was rattled when I finally arrived. Because I was late and had to give the first talk that night, my car was essentially holding up the retreat. I wasn’t thinking about tt until I tried sleeping that night, and could not fall asleep because I was thinking about her. I told myself that if I didn’t ask her out then I’d go crazy, and then I went to sleep. Sat, 10/7/2023 After waking up, I immediately remembered my resolution from the previous night and thought, “Who am I kidding, I’m not asking her out.” Fast forwarding to that afternoon, a student stepped on a bee and had an allergic reaction (shoutout Lucas). My team director and I had to drive him to the closest ER, which was back in Moscow. On the drive back I told her about my feelings for tt to get them off my chest and she encouraged me to go for it (shoutout Ewin). That galvanizing was what I needed. From there, I started looking for opportunities to talk to her one-on-one, and started praying for opportunities. No opportunities came that day and I felt very frustrated going to bed.

Sun, 10/8/2023 When I woke up Sunday, I was kicking myself about how afraid I was to ask her out, and I was processing the anger I felt about God not providing any opportunities. I prayed with Psalm 27 that morning, thinking about how if God truly was my stronghold, then there would be no reason to be afraid of asking her out. I took it as God telling me to trust Him and keep moving forward. We had mass that morning and I didn’t think about tt at all, which felt great. I could simply enjoy mass with the students. After mass, I was getting ready to sit down for the final talk when I heard tt from behind me. “Nice jacket, we’re twinning!” (She and I wore the same denim sherpa jacket to the retreat). I turned around, smiled, and walked towards her. At first, I wasn’t thinking about the fact that we were talking, but then it dawned on me that THIS was my opportunity. I nervously asked her if I could talk to her in a different room for privacy, which she said yes to. I counted down in my head, “3, 2, 1…” and what came out was something along the lines of, “I’m just gonna say it. I think you are one of the most beautiful people I’ve met. I’ve noticed you a lot this week, the way you speak, how you receive the Eucharist, how friendly you are, and I don’t know what your plans are for the rest of the day but even if it’s short, I’d like to spend some time with you today.” She immediately smiled and said she was down, and I was overjoyed for the entire rest of the day. That evening, after the retreat ended, I took her out to an Italian restaurant in Moscow. We learned about each other’s stories, our families, our hobbies, etc. and shared some pizza and wine. Our date lasted about two hours and then I dropped her off to be taken to the airport. From there, we had many ups and downs, but we did long distance for 13 months and moved to Overland Park in November of 2024. I never would have imagined at that retreat center that this would be my future wife. God takes care of His children, and He has abundantly taken care of us.