We're getting married!

Duke Memorial United Methodist Chruch 504 West Chapel Hill Street Durham, NC 27701 Ceremony - 5:00pm Followed by dinner, cupcakes, and dancing till 11pm!

July 7, 2021 - We first met on a Friendship House get-to-know-you zoom. Tatum’s first thoughts were “Oooh, Rebekah’s cool for having a real job” and Rebekah’s first thoughts were “WOAH polkadots!” (Tatum’s bedroom walls are… exciting).   August 18, 2021 - We met in person for the first time at a get to know you lunch at Corner House, and we gave each other a quick hug, not knowing what it would become.   October 2021 - Tatum heard a few people poking fun at one of their friends… and Rebekah shut it down immediately! That’s when Tatum knew Rebekah was something special.   Thanksgiving 2021 - We happened to be the only 2 people staying at friendship house over thanksgiving. Tatum was worried that she’d get lonely , and so Rebekah decided it was her job to spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with her. We made pumpkin muffins and pie, built a pillow fort, played games, and haven’t stopped spending every moment together since! This was when Rebekah realized she could spend forever with Tatum.   January 2022 - We eventually decided it would be fun to explore what dating would mean for us… but not for US. So we both downloaded Hinge. Tatum was on girls, Rebekah on guys. We scheduled dates the same day at the same coffee shop — sitting at separate tables, pretending not to know each other (for safety, of course). Shortly after, Rebekah changed her settings to girls… and Tatum stopped going on any other dates… because if Rebekah was an option, Tatum wasn’t interested in anyone else.   February 2022 - Around this time, we had a conversation about how it could be hard but doable for people to date in friendship house (not for us, just in general wink). So Tatum was getting close to asking. But then Grey’s Anatomy had a character date one of his housemates and it was awful… and Rebekah linked it to friendship house, so that was that.   Valentine’s Day 2022 - At this point Tatum was deeply ready to ask… but grey’s has foiled the plan. For Valentine’s Day, there was a dance everyone went to, but we preferred to stay home. We made hamburgers, wrote notes to each roommate and each other, and had a wonderful (date)night together! Tatum was VERY aware of the date-ness… Rebekah, was not.   April 2022 - We went to a party and played truth or dare. Tatum was truth-ed to say if she has a crush on someone. She said yes (thinking Rebekah of course)… then the next time she was dared to tell who it was. She said the name of a random girl at school. Rebekah realized very quickly that she wished Tatum had said her name.   May 17 2022 -  A few days before leaving for the summer, Tatum needed to know! So she brought it up with Rebekah and said that she’d noticed how we’d spent all our time together - much like other couples… so maybe… we could be one! We talked for a few days with some trusted people (namely, Mel - who is officiating the wedding!!) and decided it was time to try it! Finally! Everyone in Friendship House responded with “uh yeah… we already knew…” which validated Tatum… and somehow shocked Rebekah.   A few days later, we went on our first official date to a coffee shop, attended a friends wedding and had our first dance! Sadly, the wedding was a super spreader and we had to quarantine until Tatum left for the summer. So we only had about 3 days of dating in person before being long distance for the first 3 months. We talked and sent photos and audio messages and started off strong with communication.

While we’ve been dating, there have been two core values we’ve held close - Community and Creativity.   These have shaped our lives and our relationship. Our two favorite quotes that will feature prominently at the wedding mirror these: “I am for you” (community) and “She’s creating a life she loves” (creativity).   Creativity   For our first Christmas, Tatum celebrated Rebekah’s art by gifting her an art journal where we could make art back and forth for each other. We are now on our fourth art journal and are still actively creating for each other in these and beyond!   One honorable mention is our bookshelf painting. We listen to audiobooks together and have painted the cover of each. We have read and painted over 60 books as of writing this! (probably 70 by the wedding!)   Cooking is another creative outlet for us. We have really enjoyed cooking for our friends and exploring types of food. We did 12 days of pasta sauce, making (almost) 12 different options. We also love cooking burgers, curry, honey chicken, and a lot more! Let us know if you want to come over and try some!   Being Disabled, Queer, and Ace, also makes us part of communities who are constantly creating. Disability teaches us creativity in how we communicate and live interdependently, Queerness teaches us creativity in shaping our lives and celebrating all love, and Aceness teaches us creativity in what intimacy and connection are for ourselves and in community.   Community   For both of us, family is a part of our community. Our favorite memory with Rebekah’s family was going on a trip to kayak underground! We loved every moment where we got to chat with siblings in the car, spend family time in the hot tub, play games, and show them our space.   Our favorite memory with Tatum’s family is all the times they’ve come to see us in Durham - our DC trip with Tessa, Dad joining the Disability Pride Parade, and Mom getting to try all the ice cream.   Other communities like Friendship House, Duke Memorial, and Wesley Memorial have shaped our sense of self and belonging and how we care for others.   At Friendship House, we had weekly Sunday dinners, and we have carried that tradition forward by hosting neighbors, church friends, and others several times a month to share our cooking and catch up.

Creativity and Community both played a huge role in the way that Rebekah proposed to Tatum.   We started out on a little library adventure. Each one we went to had one of Tatum’s closest friend and family there with a book and a block print of the little library.   Then we went to a park where Tatum put the books in order to create the sentence “Together we are creating a life we love”. We opened the books together and then headed to a park nearby that Tatum loves.   There, Rebekah had drawn chalk art all the way down the sidewalk. There was a circle with the name of each friend and family member, who were there with wooden roses in hand when we arrived. As we walked down the sidewalk, there were quotes from our favorite books, songs, and tv shows. There was even a circle for Tatum’s grandma who had passed away.   At the end of the pathway, there was a big chalk circle surrounded by roses. Rebekah got down on one knee and Tatum, through tears, said YES!   We are so very excited to have you all as part of our wedding story and can’t wait for this story to continue into marriage forever and always.