Laura & Sam
Wedding Par-tay
Kyle Swiney
Honor Attendant
He would prefer the groom's last name to be Nesmith, but otherwise is pretty excited about it all. Likes Coco Austin, Zoe, ballerinas, Thomas the Tank Engine and grocery shopping. Dislikes Barney, Teletubbies, and especially Thomas and Enemies. He is thankful for Obama.
Sean Swiney
Honor Attendant
Is just excited for the booze and doesn't care about the other crap.
Michele Bastin
Bridesmaid
Laura's Bookend, Michele "Yoko" Bastin may or may not bring a plethora of pinatas to the event, but most certainly will bring the hot gossip from Sweden. Her dislikes include Taylor Swift, Donald Trump and anyone who loses touch with their chain gang.
Eric Kaitz
Groomsman
Shhh... if Eric asks, the wedding starts at 8 AM so hopefully he will be there by 3 PM. The open bar will be early in the festivities however, so we're keeping our fingers crossed.
Theresa Thompson
Bridesmaid
Terry "Mags" Thompson left behind a successful career as a NASCAR and Demolition Derby driver to become the world's foremost detective-slash-stalker. This will not be the first New England wedding of a high school math teacher she attends, and hopefully not the last.
Sam Goodman
Groomsman
Sam has been Sam/Jack's bestie since college. He is called "Roofie" by some of his fervent admirers, but not for the reason you think. He's a much better person than that. I guess you could say he's a GoodMan! (I crack myself up)
Simone Monaco
Canine Companion
Pet sitter extraordinaire, Orio requested Simone personally to usher her down the aisle. She will be breaking multiple wedding cherries, as this will be her first stint in a wedding party, first bridal shower, and first wedding altogether.
Cameron Kaitz
CANINE COMPANION
If Five Star Kaitz is at the celebration, you know it's a swanky affair. Crowned the 3rd Hairiest Chest of the Carnival Semi World Tour 2019, he has a soft spot for the furries and as such will be walking the 3rd Hairiest being down the aisle. Ironically though, his own dog wouldn't even bark for him.
Orio
Flower Girl
Will stop to say hi to every guest on her way down the aisle. Will definitely try to mooch noms during the reception, pretending that she's malnourished and abused. She will think this is HER big day, and you know what kid? It may as well be.
Roomba
Ring Bearer
Guaranteed to poop on his way down the aisle, then will disappear under the dais for the rest of the party.
Brian Jude
Officiant
Despite the Bride's tendency to burst into flames when anywhere near a church, she and Brian Jude have maintained a friendship that spans from the first day of high school in Mr. Billy's class to now. Although he's an All-Faith Minister, Laura remembers a time when she saw him as Jesus. https://allfaithweddingminister.wordpress.com/