For those of you who don’t know how Ethan and I started dating, well, let me tell you the story… It all started when I failed Calculus. Failed. Like, literally had a passing grade and then walked into class to take my final exam—failed. This was the only class I have ever failed, ever. So, naturally, when you try and try and then finally realize math isn’t your thing, but you still need to pass because that’s the only way you can get a business degree, and you need one of those to do the things you want, that’s when you find yourself in need of an Ethan. So… after failing Calculus, ehem, twice, I decided to ask for help. I went to the smartest person I knew. Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re skeptical. No way he is the smartest person you know. See, I was confused too, but fast forward to graduation, and it was actually confirmed… He was named first in our class for the finance program and the entire college of business at LMU. He began tutoring me, and I remember the pink stains of spaghetti on his mouth every night as we would talk about derivatives and limits. (He’s always been a messy eater). He would occasionally check in with me after a long-winded explanation of the importance of pulling out the coefficient and multiplying it by the power of x or something like that. I would just nod my head in agreement when I most definitely did not understand what he was talking about. I think it was the fact that he actually cared and really wanted me to understand what was happening that kind of made me look at him differently. Because let me tell you, the stains of spaghetti were definitely not the engine starter here. It was just him—his brilliance and selflessness. He didn’t mind taking time out of his studying to help me. I know what you’re thinking: he wasn’t doing it out of the goodness of his heart; he was probably happy to spend some time with a pretty girl. Yeah, see, I thought the same thing. But it turns out the transition from “tutee” to “baby” was not as easy as we’d thought. And for you naysayers in the back, this is how I know he genuinely helped me without any underlying intentions… So, after maybe the sixth or seventh session, I was no longer listening to the importance of limits and derivatives. Instead, I was looking at the way his hair fell on his face and how he beamed with a cheeky smile when I told him I was lost and he proceeded to explain the concept to me once again. I was focused on how he wore a “shmedium” when he should’ve worn a large, and how because of this, his biceps peered through more clearly, begging for my help out of that ridiculous shirt. Anyway, like I was saying, after the sixth or seventh session, it was nearing the end of the school year, and baseball had made it to the NCAAs. They were playing UCLA, and his roommate Matt invited me over to watch the game with them. We watched it, and we won, but it was late, and I was going to bike back to my house. Ethan insisted on giving me a ride home since it was too dark out, so I took him up on the offer. He loaded my bike into his truck, and right as we pulled up to my house, I thought, it’s now or never. I figured I could tell him I liked him on the way out, and that way, if it didn’t go as planned, I could just run away to my house after. So, I did.

We pulled up to my house, and I told him that I thought he was cute and that it’s been really nice spending time studying together. He turned off the car, and we sat in silence for what felt like the longest 30 seconds of my life before he hit me with, “I’ve never really thought of you like that.” See, this is the part I did not think through: One, that I could actually be rejected (not a very common thing for me). Two, that my freaking bike was in the back of his truck, and that I could not get it down without his help. So… yeah, that was the most awkward 5-minute silent encounter I’ve ever experienced. After being so vulnerable, I could not help but avoid eye contact. He unloaded my bike from his truck, and I grabbed it as quickly as possible, thanking him for the ride, then fading away into my backyard. I rushed through the back door and went straight to my bed, my heart racing with immediate regret circling my stomach. I felt sick. I debated whether to text him and say I was joking or if that’d just look even worse. So, I went to bed unsettled, replaying the words he had said. LITERALLY, the next morning, this man had the audacity to hit my line asking to “hang out.” Bruh… why did you let me sleep on that… Anyway, you can all guess how the story unfolds after that… Ethan says I was lucky and that I got him right as he was experiencing his glow-up. He was probably right, but we didn’t want him to know that. Not to spoil what you all probably already guessed based on my lack of focus in these study sessions, but things did not go the way I had hoped in Calc... See, I’m a fairly fast learner, and if things still weren’t clicking, it just wasn’t it. I ultimately failed for a second time... and then decided not to take any more chances and just look up the professor on Rate My Professor instead of going in blindly. And wouldn’t you know it, third time really was a charm when I passed with an “A” after spending a year and a half of my college experience in the most awful subject ever created. Long story short, he tutored me. I hit on him. Got rejected… shocker, I KNOW, probably part of the appeal. Eventually, I wore him down… and five years later, here we are. The moral of the story is: persistence in math and in love is key.