Headliners
Sage
Bride
Excited to be here. Thrilled. Not panicking whatsoever.
Chris
Groom
The face he makes when he thinks of the woman he'll be spending the rest of his life with
Sam
Maid of Honor
Can pick out Sage in a crowd just from the shape of her butt.
Johnny
Best Man
Sage's least favorite little brother, Chris's favorite little brother.
Fallon
Host
Auntie, friend, ADHD Fairy Godmother, say thank you to the hostess with the mostess
Sak
Host
Technically an Uncle (#8), raised like a brother, actually a pain in the ASS
SchmalenSister
Roaster
Friends first, Sister In Law second, family FOREVER <3
SchmalenBrothers
Roaster
The Angel and Devil on Sage's shoulder's
SchmalenNiblings
Roaster
Jude and Jemma, the not-so-little kids who gave Sage her favorite title of all time: Auntie <3
Reno
Roaster
Almost brother from another mother
Tyler
Roaster
The one with the Marriage Pact
Stephen "VC"
Roaster
Ask him to do an an impression of Frieza, we dare you
Tre
Roaster
From acting together onstage as teenagers to LARPing together at a table as big ass kids
Long Uncles
Roaster
Unc #4 (Samnang), Unc #6 (Veasna), and Unc #7 (Kosal) coming together to repeat the roasts they already say on a daily basis
The Doughty's
Roaster
Fellow Hilltoppers, lifelong friends, and amazing trio of goofy, wonderful siblings
Sheila
Mother of the Bride
An older, more foul-mouthed version of Sage
Chenda
Mother of the Groom
Though she be little, she can absolutely whoop your ass
Evan
Officiant
Master of Ceremony, really awesome friend