Passive aggressive FAQs

Question

Hey guys, just wondering what our kids will be up to while we enjoy one god forsaken night/weekend having adult fun at a gay wedding?

Answer

Oh no problem! your kids will be at home bud! This is parents night out! (also not to sound gauche but, kids at a gay wedding? ur not some drag queen libt*rd are ya punk?)

Question

Hey I have dietary restrictions! will i be appropriately nourished?

Answer

Listen pal, Riley is Diabetic and Dominick can't eat bread without changing his undies. I think you'll be fine. also the poutine bar will have gf and vegetarian options I GUESS

Question

Yo why can't i find your Registry?

Answer

Oh so like.. Your attendance is like... gift enough? (Butttttt also there will be a card box.)

Question

Hey Dominick! What date should RSVP by?

Answer

If I don't have your RSVP by August 1st I'll kill us both

Question

Wait how do i get back and forth from the Venue to the Hotel????

Answer

You just blow in from Stupid town? You either trick someone into being the DD or you take a CAB! or I'll just take you home with me and you can live in my back yard.

Question

But drinking and driving is still cool in Saskatchewan Right?

Answer

WRONG. if you even think about it. I'll call the cops myself and give ya a spankin'. NO EXCEPTIONS!!! also Rat your friends out before they get behind the wheel and receive a lollypop and a free trip to Disney