THEY LOVE EACH OTHER

Why do we stay in relationships we know aren’t right? Is it laziness, sense of security, fear of change, or a combination of all the aforementioned and more? I was in one of those relationships for two years too long and it was never right from the beginning. She must have known that too but had the courage to end it, which she did. However, before that inevitable ending, that woman would introduce me to my future wife. Now hold that thought right there, this isn’t a story of deceit or disloyalty. So kindly erase the image of infidelity that has surely come to mind. Becca doesn’t remember this night (or so she says) but I certainly do. I was out to see a cover band for a night of Grateful Dead music with my then girlfriend. She spotted someone from across the room and insisted we go over to say our hi’s and hello’s. Can you guess who it was? I hope so, because if you cannot then I’m not doing a good job of story-telling so far. It was a quick hello and I didn’t think anything more of it at the time. However, my partner would go on to tell me that this is a woman she had spoken to me about before. The deadhead girl she had told me would be perfect for me. Yes, she literally said to me “you two would be perfect together”. She had said this months earlier in normal conversation. And now, I was meeting this woman. Was she really perfect for me? I remember giving it a brief moment of thought at the time but nothing more as I was currently in a relationship and remember, I’m a monogamist. Fast forward several months and I’m now a single monogamist. I hate dating...and most people for that matter, which makes dating even less likable and absolutely unappealing. Yet, I did want someone to spend my time growing old with.

...it had been a dream to find a deadhead like me to spend said growing old time with. Was I to question the compatibility proposed by my previous partner? Surely she was taken. Beautiful, blonde and a big fan of Big Boss Man? No way someone hasn’t been pragmatic and proposed that they live as partners in parallel. But as the great Michael Scott and the Great One before him once said, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. But I needed to find a rationale, a reason to initiate contact. I couldn’t just simply ask her out on a date, DUH! What innovative idea could I use to infiltrate? Of course! The Grateful Dead! So our story begins as so many similar stories of years past, with Facebook Messenger. My cover this time, was not a cover band but a festival full of bands. I messaged her asking if she knew where to get tickets to the upcoming Lockn Festival, a music festival in Virginia featuring the music of the Grateful Dead. A logical location to start would most likely be the music festival's website. But I am playing the part of an idiot for the time being and so I asked her instead.

I admitted to her that I was never looking for Lockn tickets and that I was using this as a purposeful ploy to engage in conversation and propose meeting in person, this time on a date of our own. The theme again was music, and we agreed to gather together to go see a favorite local band that plays the music of The Allman Brothers, The Band and yes of course, The Grateful Dead. It was an overnight event but I agreed of course that I would take her home after the music was done. I picked her up and off we went. The show was a mini festival of sorts on a private ranch in the high desert. We immediately hit it off. We danced in circles, hung out with friends and jammed the night away. We ended up spending that entire weekend together, seeing more music and finding it much more delightful to spend time together than time apart.

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