Celebrating 10 years & beyond

While we do not recall the exact date, we know we met Memorial Day week 2008. Joshua was a friend and fraternity brother to, while Michelle was a friend and grad school colleague of, Torsheika Maddox. Sheika and Michelle were big on organizing social events to bring grad students, and primarily grad students of color, together to socialize, have fun and build community. On the day we met, Sheika and Michelle had bought a Slip N' Slide playset and decided to host a BBQ at Sheika's place off Patterson Street which she shared with Anna Haskins as a reason to use it. It was a beautiful day, perfect weather -- warm enough for Slip N' Sliding, water gun fights, and Twister out in the park that once existed across the street. And there was so much delicious food. This was Joshua's first introduction to the grad school crew, and the day the two of us met. Surprisingly, while we definitely chatted, we did not interact much on that day. Michelle was busy hosting, and there was a steady stream of visitors. But, that changed a day or two later. On May 26, 2008, Sheika and Michelle, again, organized a group gathering. This time an impromptu pool party at the Camelot. Kendra Allen stayed at the apartments she was the official host, and Sheika invited Joshua to meet up. Joshua arrived with his two youngest brothers - Lateef (16) and Rasheed (11) - in tow. Michelle, being the Southerner she is, immediately came over to make sure everyone felt comfortable, got food, and felt comfortable getting into the pool. As we spoke, Joshua revealed that it was his birthday. It is also the day that Joshua became interested in Michelle. A few weeks would pass before we saw each other again. This time it would be as part of a night of dancing at the Crave followed by a coed sleep over at Michelle and her roommate Alicia's place. Michelle also learned that night that Joshua was interested in being more than just her friend. For those who were there, you know how that came about, IYKYK. Long story, short, Joshua ended up leaving the sleepover early. A few more weeks would go by before we would hang out again, but we started keeping in touch - texting and chatting one another regularly which led to some hanging out and doing things together - cooking and baking together, renting classic movies from Blockbuster that Michelle had not seen like Star Wars, taking bike rides, getting custard from Michael's, disc-golfing, etc. It became clear that we really liked each other, and enjoyed being with each other, and on September 26, 2008 Joshua stated his desire to be monogamous and asked Michelle to be his girlfriend. And we have been rolling together since that day. Over the nearly 16 years that we have dated, we have had ups and downs. We are blessed that our ups and have far outnumbered our downs, and as time passes the skew towards the ups continues to become more extreme. But, that is simply a reflection of our commitment to the commitment we have made with each other. We love and are dedicated to each other as a family. We chose each other and continue to choose one another each passing day. And we are willing to do the work, both individually and together, to be the best versions of ourselves and to have the best version of marriage that we can envision and create together. Our love is real, and we won't give up on it.

Michelle and Joshua began living together in 2010 and all the signs pointed to their ability to work together and enjoy each other's company. They continued doing the things they loved which included cooking, sight-seeing, movies, etc... A particular videogame, The Michael Jackson Experience on the Nintendo Wii system Joshua bought for Michelle, provided some fond memories in their loft apartment on the westside of Madison. Michelle was able to take Joshua on his first trip to Houston to meet her family in 2011. Although it was a trip under a bit of duress because of the need to support her sister through some health complications, it was memorable and meaningful. On the introduction circuit, we landed first at Serprena's home and Joshua met his future sister and brother in-law and their two kids. Next, we stopped by Michelle's childhood home on the northeast side of Houston to visit Mr. Carey Robinson. Interestingly, but not surprisingly, he was not home at the moment. So, Michelle decided to stop by her Great Uncle Abner's house. With a warm welcome and big smile, Joshua was greeted by cousin Sandra and got to sit down with the family Patriarch, Uncle Abner Robinson. Everyone was so happy to see Michelle that the excitement spilled over to their introduction to Joshua. In an endearing moment Uncle Abner shared his love of music by singing Otis Redding's 'Sitting on the dock of the bay' and Joshua joined in the chorus. From there, an unspoken approval was awarded that paved the way for Joshua's acceptance into the family. When the visit wrapped up, there was another attempt to meet Mr. Carey at the family homestead on Snowden St. On the trip back to Michelle's childhood home, Joshua was informed that he needed to be firm yet relaxed because Mr. Carey was tough on her sister's husband when they first met. The interaction was going well when Mr. Carey revealed that Uncle Abner had called him and shared his approval of Joshua at their introduction. From there, the conversation flowed and another door opened to continue the path towards a beautiful union. 2012 marked four years of their relationship, and Joshua was ready to take the next step in their life journey. Unfortunately, Michelle was still experiencing some challenging times while supporting her older sister through the health circumstances and had been in Houston while managing her grad school life. In a planned visit, Joshua went to Houston so he and Michelle could spend time together. With an engagement ring in tow, he flew to Michelle with intentions to propose to her. Part of their quality time included a drive down to Galveston and some time on the beach while staying at a hotel. To Michelle's complete surprise, Joshua proposed on the morning of April 3rd, 2012. With a teary-eyed 'yes' Michelle accepted the proposal. Joshua was overjoyed.

Our original vision for our wedding started as a plan to have a destination wedding on a beach. However, some of our family expressed their desire to be a part of our day. So we decided to have a traditional wedding in Houston. We chose our dating anniversary, September 26th, as our original wedding date. This began our countdown to our day. We successfully got through some key milestones as it related to wedding planning. We had selected our reception venue, Michelle had found her wedding dress, we selected colors, and Michelle also had chosen dresses for the bridal party. But, then we lost steam. Our excitement about marrying each other persisted, but planning a wedding that met the needs of others, but not ours, turned out to not be very motivating for us. One day, Michelle met up with one of her best friends, Heather O'Connell, who was also lead bridesmaid where Heather checked in on where things were with wedding planning. Michelle shared, transparently, she hated it. She hated that her dream wedding was not happening, and she hated that she felt she was being forced to organize a wedding that did not feel in alignment with who we were - as individuals and as a couple. Heather, ever so wise, simply advised that we should reclaim our wedding and do what would make us happy. Michelle came home, excited to discuss the possibility of going rogue, of which Joshua was fully down for, which set off a energizing and exciting period of planning our "quasi" elopement. Our wedding took shape over the course of about a month of planning. We selected the 4th of July for a number of reasons. First, it's a holiday and it would make remembering our anniversary easy. We appreciate efficiency, which is why we originally aimed to have our wedding date be our dating anniversary. Secondly, as Black Americans, the 4th of July has symbolized a day of celebrating community, family and greater ideals, over great food and drink, related to the future of the society and communities we inhabit. And lastly, Michelle, as the consummate social scientist and lover of history, understands that despite the wariness and apprehension towards the 4th of July by some today, that the origins of the holiday, celebration and the revelry associated with it has its origins in the Post-Emancipation South driven by the commemorations of Black liberty led largely by the Black folks who largely were previously enslaved. So, we decided to get married on an early morning on July 4, 2014 in a small ceremony held at the Wisconsin State Capitol building. In a symbolic coincidence, the recommended area was in front of the South facing direction of the 2nd floor rotunda in the state Capitol. The south facing direction was fitting based on Michelle's heritage coming from Louisiana by way of Texas. We wore untraditional clothes, and walked down the aisle together. We were joined by a small subset of the community of friends and family we had built in Madison. Our then pastor, Colier McNair, and his wife Myra McNair officiated the service. We wrote our own vows, as well as simultaneously recited a shared set of vows we selected. We also each selected and discussed an Adinkra symbol to reflect values that we promised to center in our marriage. Joshua selected Nyansapo, also called the Wisdom Knot" which represents wisdom or a wise person - which is defined as someone who has the capacity to choose the best means to attain a goal. Michelle selected "Boa Me Na Me Mmoa Wo" which represents cooperation and interdependence. After our wedding, we enjoyed a beautiful brunch with our guests at Coopers Tavern while watching the World Cup. We would celebrate with Michelle's family and more friends on September 26, 2014 with a reception at the venue we had booked. Friends and family of Michelle traveled from across the US and overseas to celebrate with us. At the end of of it all, we prioritized us, and created the wedding that we wanted. And it was a perfect reflection of us.

This 4th of July we will be celebrating ten beautiful years of marriage. While we are hosting a formal celebration here in Madison on July 5th, we are celebrating all year. This event is a labor or love. We are planning, organizing and implementing every aspect of it and every feature of it reflects aspects of who we are as individuals and as a couple, our relationship, our love and our interests, as well as our origins. As people committed to environmentalism, we are aiming to keep this event as green as possible and will be using this website along with e-mail communications to keep you up to date with our planning and related details. We will aim to push out communications when important updates are added, but we encourage those who will be joining us to please check back regularly.