It’s been said many ways, by some of the greatest philosophers of all time: “You will be amazed at how things fall magically into place once you let go of the illusion of control.” Tell THAT to two control-freaks. Freaky good freaks, of course :) Though sometimes difficult to let go and simply trust, Ben and Mae and their love couldn’t be a greater testament to this fact of life. Two people who love to feel in control. Mae, one of the most thoughtful humans on the planet, doesn’t go into any situation in life without researching and doing her best to be prepared for any scenario. Ben’s brilliant, analytical mind leads him to approach life with logic and intention. In a world of digital dating and criteria-driven match making, where the potential to be incredibly calculated exists; the stars aligned to push these two lovers out of their comfort zones. They put planning and preemptive screening aside and let dear mutual friend Tyler set them up on a blind date. They thought they were both being super cool and casual about it. Ben was like “I trust Tyler, why not?” And Mae’s planner mind thought “Great!! I’ll check ‘go on a blind date’ off my bucket list!” Cue brief, yet fitting cliche: love is blind! Except, logical Ben debunked that fable; his first impression of Mae? “She’s really cute.” And for all who know and love her, that’s true! Who doesn’t love transparency on the first date?! There they were one June evening in 2018, at Valentine’s Distillery in Ferndale, completely OUT of control. Talking about everything from dog obsession to religion and kids on the first date. Without even knowing it, each looking across the table at forever. Each looking at a partner, who would BE the safe space; who would allow the other to let go, and let life carry out the magic meant for them together.

While life isn’t all roses, and love doesn’t cure all; it sure helps to know you’re not alone. Ben and Mae hit it off right away, and within a couple months they were each having the thought --- the “could this be it” narrative. They both have distinct memories of their “ah ha” moment...both in the kitchen. Couples who snack together stay together; if ya don’t know, now ya know. Just a couple months after meeting, on August 12 to be exact (you didn’t think they wouldn’t know the exact date did you?!), Ben asked Mae to be his girlfriend. A blind date might be a fun, loosy goosy, spontaneous life experience, but let’s not get carried away. Ben knew he needed to lock this down. On the up and up. OFFICIALLY. For the past few years, they’ve merged their life on every level. Ben became a puppy and kitty Daddy; perhaps the greatest prerequisite of all was to pass this test in Mae’s book. If you can’t hang with some fur kids and love them ridiculously and unconditionally, you gone. Mae moved in and, together they turned Ben’s house into their home. Mae convinced Ben to buy a coffee table at least twice the cost of what he considers reasonable for a coffee table. Nothing preps you for marriage like shopping for household furnishings. They’ve spent a lot of nights and weekends on the deck, grilling and talking about life plans. Listening to good jams and laughing at everything and nothing all at the same time. Mae came to learn that she trusts Ben’s judgment fully and developed a sense of peace and comfort she had never felt before. Ben affirmed that the animal lover he met on their first date is truly, the most caring person he knows. And he loves that she doesn’t stink. So, there’s that.

It hasn’t been 100% smooth sailing. The biggest test on any relationship is the noise that comes from the outside; how you choose to hear it (or block it out) together and how you manage the volume. Family dynamics, immense loss, life disappointments, etc. Some of life’s greatest challenges and sorrows have popped up, just in the last few years. Is that life’s way of stress testing? Perhaps. Mae always knows what questions to ask. And she pays attention to the details; the little things that matter most to the people she loves. Lucky for Ben, he moved into her number one spot over the past few years. She’s there to be a listening ear and a ray of sunshine when things get dark and heavy. Ben picked up on Mae’s beautiful heart from the start, and learned the importance of sentiment to her. In perhaps the ultimate show of love and understanding of what truly matters to Mae; Ben had the forethought to ask Mae’s late grandpa for his blessing in taking her hand in marriage, in August, shortly before he passed away. Grandpa was one of Mae’s heroes and biggest champions in this life; as if the writing weren’t already on the wall, Grandpa nearly blew the surprise of an impending engagement when a few days after Ben had had the chat with him, Mae showed up for a visit and he exclaimed “where’s your husband?!” Mae had a giggle about what she thought was a sweet, innocent slip up (but had a nice ring to it!) - memory was a challenge in the end of life here on this Earth for him. Ben was smiling for a different reason - he was so grateful to know this was remembered and taken to heart, & having Grandpa’s blessing gave Ben all the confidence he needed to take the next step...this was IT. Mae knew it was coming. She was making every effort to make sure she had her nails done religiously, and waiting not-the-most-patiently-but-as-patiently-as-possible for Ben to pop the question. Without knowing it, Grandpa actually helped orchestrate the perfect timing for all of this.

Summer came to a close, fall was a ball, then came the holidays and all of the snow. Mae thought “maybe he’s not going to do it; maybe it will be a while still…” Of course, Ben was planning all the while. With a birthday trip for their friend Jen planned to New Orleans in February 2020; Ben knew there would be no better backdrop than Mae’s favorite city. He called Matron of Honor Jackie to brainstorm and come up with the perfect plan; again, paying every bit of attention to the smallest details and all the things he knew would matter most to Mae. For all the months she had spent being prepared for this moment...what she knew would be the happiest moment of her life and one she had been waiting for, for a very long time…. Mae was PERFECTLY caught off guard and surprised in every possible way. On February 2, without having time to plan an outfit or do something special to her hair, Mae cried the happiest tears as Ben got down on one knee in front of the St. Louis Cathedral in NOLA. And there was a hidden photographer there to capture it all. You see despite the urge to plan and do and create and arrange - the sweetest moments in life come just outside of our comfort zone, at the whims of life itself. From blind date to surprise proposal, these two reggae-loving, animal snuggling, Sunday Funday pros were meant to be. They do their very best to take the reins in life, but ground each other just enough to leave space for life’s surprises. They are each other’s comfort when the surprises are kind of shitty. And each other’s ‘butterflies’ when the surprises are the stuff dreams are made of. Planning a wedding during a global pandemic has been one of those surprises that falls (mostly) in the shitty category - save for lots of extra time to...get to know each other better, plan a wedding, practice not eating ALL of the snacks in one day…

Mae was able to complete Ben’s random sentences before all of this, now, he hardly has to speak if he doesn’t feel like it and Mae knows exactly what he’s thinking. While puzzle sales in the US soared more than 370% over last year, the only puzzle being completed in the FergZola house is the one where Mae was Ben’s missing piece. Not only do the two of them fit together perfectly, but their lives have beautifully merged into a story that’s come together piece by piece; home, pets, friends, FAMILY...to form a work of art that was clearly meant to be one all along. When they shared the big news with those they hold dear, Ben’s Dad’s reaction said it best: “She’s been our daughter all along, now, it’s just official.” They can’t WAIT to celebrate with everyone they love all in one place; an epic collision of two worlds it will be. Thinking of the wedding day makes Mae most excited to finally call Ben her HUSBAND. Ben can’t wait to marry his person, but mostly, he can’t wait for that night - like later in the night - after all the loved ones LEAVE ;-)