Wedding Party
Mara Foley
Maid of Honor
Mara is Lindsay’s college roommate-turned-family. In 2011, Lindsay got an A on a microeconomics exam that almost everyone else failed, and Mara bragged about it and rubbed it in everyone’s faces, deeply embarrassing Lindsay. Thus began 15 years of loving each other an embarrassing amount. Lindsay taught Mara how to cook, how to exercise, and who Angela Merkel is. Mara taught Lindsay how to crack a lobster (pre-vegetarian days). Mara would like to think that her sickly, Victorian-child constitution inspired Lindsay to became a doctor, and for that, the whole world is welcome. Mara may switch sides at the altar so she can watch Lindsay’s face as she marries the love of her life.
Aidan McOsker
Best Man
Born 18 months after “the most handsome baby Torrance Memorial ever delivered into this world”, Aidan McOsker has the honor of being the groom’s first friend. The strongest of his brothers and a fierce defender of those he loves, Aidan graduated from the Naval Academy and through the Navy met his lovely wife Rachel in Norfolk shortly thereafter. Aidan is most known as the father of Joey, the funniest dog in the McOsker universe. Today he is an instructor at the Naval Academy in Annapolis, rocks a year-round mustache and serves as Mac’s best man.
Carmen Hinebaugh
Bridesmaid
Carmen first met Lindsay when Lindsay and Carmen’s husband were indoctrinated into the cult of Capital One’s 2015 new hire class. What started as a casual “friend-of-my-husband” dynamic quickly evolved into a years-long race against Connor for Best Friend status, which Carmen is proud to announce she has finally won by snagging the title of Bridesmaid. (No recounts will be permitted.) She’s honored to stand beside Lindsay and Mac, mostly because she adores them, but also because victory tastes sweet.
Ronan McOsker
Groomsman
“Long have you suffered my monotonous baritone” - Ronan McOsker, fraternity president, UC Berkeley Class of 2022. Be not fooled by this self-deprecation… Wielding a dry sense of humor and the occasional full mustach, Ronan joins Mac in arms on the civilian side of the Navy/Civilian brothers split. Ronan continues his reign as the smartest of the McOsker 4 in his second year of medical school and is joined in Ireland by his wonderful girlfriend Jackie.
Emma Blake
Bridesmaid
Emma met Lindsay at Capital One’s Sell Day during their senior year of college and got such good vibes that a few months later she agreed to hike the Kungsleden (“The King’s Trail”) in Swedish Lapland with her that summer. Lindsay still jokes she wasn’t sure she’d recognize Emma when she stepped off the train in Abisko—though Emma knew she’d spot Lindsay instantly thanks to her red lion’s mane and matching 80-liter backpack. Three weeks, 300 miles, many confused Swedish tourists, and countless jars of peanut butter later, they were friends for life. Since then, Lindsay has been Emma’s favorite partner-in-crime: equally down for nights out on the town, big adventures in the mountains, and that one Thanksgiving in the Woodlands that involved nothing but Lindsay’s mom’s cooking and three straight seasons of Yellowstone. Through it all, Emma has learned never to doubt Lindsay once she’s made up her mind—whether it’s deciding to go to medical school at 30 or marrying Mac after just a few dates. She can’t wait to celebrate them both in Ireland at what she’s already calling (only half-jokingly) the best party of her life.
Finnbar McOsker
Groomsman
Born 6 years after the groom/oldest McOsker sibling, Finn in some ways was Mac’s first draft at parenting. And boy did he do a great job. Owing it all to Mac, Finn is doing just fine, a few months into flight school in Pensacola after graduating from the Naval Academy last year. As the most athletic of the group, Finn played Volleyball at Navy and is now winning volleyball tournaments in flight school, confirming what we all understood flight school to be from Top Gun… shirtless volleyball montages. If you’re looking for Finn, just look out for a redhead and you’ll have a 50/50 chance of being right. Worst case, you’ll have found the bride, in which case put in a good word for Mac please.
Samantha Kirkman
Bridesmaid
Sam alleges she attended Georgetown alongside Lindsay, which would make her the only 2015 grad Lindsay did not meet while working at The Tombs. Questionable Hoya credentials aside, Sam and Lindsay finally connected in 2022 in Denver via Sam’s husband and fellow Tombs alum Alec, who is now the lesser friend. Sam’s primary role is that of a human vest, ensuring that Lindsay’s proclivity for danger does not exceed comfortable risk thresholds on all of their adventures together.
Maxwell Baumer
Groomsman
Whether or not you think Maxwell looks good in a mustache, you’re right. From Los Angeles to New York City to San Francisco, Maxwell has spent life post-college in cities very familiar to attendees of this wedding. (Look out Houston and DC, you’re on deck). Sharing/creating a “Swamp” when needed, Maxwell has served dutifully for years in the undesirable role of Mac’s bunkmate, a role I’m sure he’s excited to be relieved of. You may not understand the gibberish/jokes he and the groom are sharing with each other, and honestly they might not either. Maxwell is Mac’s cousin and groomsman, and ladies, he’s looking for love!
Robert Landis
Bridesman
Lindsay and Robert met nearly 20 years ago, back when Lindsay still straightened her hair and Robert exclusively wore Hawaiian shirts and shorts (tragic). Despite their efforts to scare one another off with those choices, they instead bonded in the back of math class and became fast friends. Since then, she has decisively beat him at gin rummy in 8 different countries. He is very honored to stand with Lindsay and Mac on their day, and looks forward to the day she lets him win a round of gin.
Henry Ferguson
Groomsman
A recent graduate of NYU’s Stern School of Business, Henry’s LinkedIn photos strewn across the internet would lead you to believe a reverse mortgage might be right for you! But don’t be fooled— Hank (yes, he goes by Hank and insists everyone call him that) is a lovable teddy bear with a heart of gold. He boasts an innumerable amount of achievements and interests that can’t possibly be contained in a simple “wedding party bio”. To learn more, you’ll just have to track Hank down at the wedding and pick his brain! In fact, consider it homework. He’s joined in Sligo by his wonderful wife Yasi (they just got married!) and as of recently, can read.
Jayme Canfield
Bridesmaid
Jayme's friendship with Lindsay started in college at Georgetown. Lindsay denies this. Jayme has receipts. They would grow closer over the years through Disney sing-a-longs to smoke unwanted guests out of the apartment, legendary costume parties, increasingly hostile games of hide the gnome, and 2am pizza runs to Wise Guys. Jayme was devastated when Lindsay abandoned her in DC to become a successful Broadway producer in NYC. Jayme was devastated when Lindsay abandoned her dreams of being a Broadway producer to pursue law school. Jayme was actually pretty relieved when Lindsay abandoned her dreams of being a lawyer to pursue med school. Lawyers are the worst and Lindsay is the best, so it would never have worked out (note: Jayme’s lawyer/husband would like to submit as evidence 8 years of love and partnership). Although Jayme would have preferred Lindsay find someone who likes literally any other sports teams, she thinks Mac is cool too, and is glad Lindsay has someone who can relate to her experience of losing to the Nats in the 2019 postseason.
Matthew Loewel
Groomsman
There’s just no way anyone at this wedding is better at Fortnite than Matthew J Loewel. With fearsome looks that have reminded some of “a young JFK”, Matt was one of the first people Mac met in high school and brags a friendship with the groom over a decade long. Wielding an arsenal of moves that bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses, if you miss him on the dance floor, you just weren’t on the dance floor. You may have heard of him as “Lil Croix”, you may have heard of him as “Churboi”, but chances are— you’ve heard of him. Matt is guaranteed to do the worm on the dance floor and is joined by his wonderful girlfriend Kat.
Sebastian Silva
Bridesman
Sebastian has had the great fortune of calling Lindsay a friend and fellow fire sign sister since their freshman year of college. Herstorians may debate the exact details surrounding their origin story, but their friendship continuously found ways to grow, mostly over sports, rugby, and cooking together. Lindsay liked spending time with Sebastian so much she even pulled all strings she had to get him hired as a doorman at The Tombs where they were coworkers and even attended Tombs Prom! After college, Sebastian boldly decided to take their friendship and kindred adventure-seeking to the next level, and mustered the courage to ask Lindsay to be roommates with two other friends in a cute townhouse, so obviously Sebastian knows *exactly* how Mac felt leading up to his proposal. Sebastian has been excited to celebrate Lindsay & Mac’s wedding ever since he met Mac (and just as significantly, Mac’s family) just six weeks into them dating.
John Stratton
Groomsman
Ladies, if your goal is to find the tallest, single bachelor at the wedding, look no further. Allow me to introduce to you, John Elliott Stratton. While John has the unfortunate luck of getting his bio written later in the groom’s “wedding party bio” process (where bios are becoming increasingly more abstract and nonsensical), John has a heart of gold and a warm soul. In a more literal sense, John loves dogs almost as much as he loves the Chicago Bears and through recently adopting a fandom of Notre Dame has earned the title of “Cousin John” with Mac’s family. Ladies, he’s looking for love!
Ryan Martin
Bridesman
Ryan met Lindsay at Georgetown and spent the first decade of their friendship confused if he was being bullied, flirted with, or just loved unconditionally. He remains unsure, but he’s still here for it. Ryan is excited to celebrate the wedding in Ireland, only one hour away from where his ancestor, Richard Martin (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Martin_(Irish_politician)), was once was a representative in the Irish House of Commons. Ryan feels conflicted about this heritage as while it is true that Richard had some positives (he survived two shipwrecks, was an advocate against the cruel treatment of cattle etc) he was famously one of the cruelest landlords in all of Ireland during the famine. Ryan has not met Mac yet, but he has been hearing about him since Lindsay declared that she would be meeting his family and likely getting married to him after the first one or two dates. Which felt crazy at the time, but once again, Lindsay was 100% right.
Wyett Dalton
Groomsman
If your goal is to cyber-stalk the wedding party ahead of the big day, you will surely get frustrated looking for Wyett Dalton. Boasting an unforgettable presence and zero social media, Wyett is likely the groomsman that has thought the most about apocalypse preparation. Wyett’s odd love of the Colts (he’s from New York) is finally paying off this year, coming at the same time he joined Mac by moving to Denver (coincidence?). He is joined in Sligo by his girlfriend Avery is who is a celebrated recent-addition to Denver as well! To Avery’s bulldog Beau, Wyett isn’t the step-father— he’s the father that stepped up. Since Wyett entered the picture, Beau has lost a toe, eyeball, MCL, and possibly more… but what he’s gained is a stern-but-fair father figure in Wyett.