It was the fall of 2020. Like the rest of the world, we'd been in lockdown for too long and were ready to shake things up. Stephanie had spent the summer in the Midwest, occasionally going on masked dates with clueless men that went nowhere. Leslie had spent the summer finishing her basement (like a good lesbian does) and had only just gotten back to dating in the very shallow pool that is suburban lesbiana. We both needed to broaden our horizons - Leslie with zipcodes and Stephanie with genders. ;) Enter "Her", a dating app that can only be described as... free. Both of us were swiping away, and we stood out to one another amidst the profiles filled with girls with reptiles, girls with boyfriends, and straight men - you think we're kidding - we're not. To Stephanie, Leslie's big, sweet smile, photo of her with her dad and brother, and pics with her dog, Harper, screamed "ENTRY LEVEL LESBIAN" - which was PERFECT! To Leslie, Stephanie's well-written profile, adventurous pictures, and hot ass were enough to entice an opening line, which was in response to Stephanie's crush on the actress Sarah Paulson. "If you like Sarah Paulson, you should check out 'Ratched'!" We went back and forth like that for awhile, bonding over our dads' shared birthdays, the fact that we both starred in 'Guys and Dolls' our senior year of high school (Steph was Adelaide, Les was Sarah), our love of teaching, reading, therapy, and of course, our mutual love of dogs. The multi day flirtation, which covered a LOT of ground, culminated in Leslie slyly offering Steph her number. "...this app keeps glitching, which sucks because I've been really enjoying our rambling conversations. So if you're interested, here is my cell phone #..." Needless to say, Steph texted. ;)

Steph waited nervously on the steps of the Brooklyn Museum, the chai latte she had cleverly picked up for Leslie going cold in her hands. "Where is she?", Steph wondered. 15 minutes later, Leslie breathlessly made her way up the stairs. "So sorry... I got lost a few times. I circled the museum twice, but at least now I know where the Botanical Gardens are..." Leslie handed Steph her offering - a jar of peanut butter from Trader Joe's with a ribbon on it. (Steph had mentioned her passion for PB, and Leslie had mentioned hers for chai - how romantical!) We proceeded to pick ourselves up from the museum steps and make our way down Eastern Parkway toward Prospect Park, where we'd decided to walk the 3.1 mile loop in masks because... COVID. On the walk, we talked and laughed, following the sounds of live music that we intended to go listen to, until the moment when Leslie realized she'd lost her iPhone during a brief bathroom break. She embarrassedly admitted to the loss when she tried to pull out her phone to use as a flashlight to guide us through a small wooded area to the sounds of the music. Undeterred, Steph had a solution - she would call Leslie's phone and see if anyone answered, which Leslie objected to, instead accepting that the phone was gone forever and preferring to memorize a map to get home to Connecticut. Steph refused this, calling Leslie's phone anyway, and both of us were pleasantly surprised when a female voice answered, saying that she had found the phone in a bathroom stall. All was saved, the phone was returned, but Leslie's dignity was not restored for some time. After the phone saga, we decided to go for dinner to a neighborhood favorite, Chavela's, for some tacos and guacamole. Steph was internally panicking, unsure of who was supposed to pay in this situation, but Leslie, an experienced girl-dater, swooped in and handled it with aplomb. Steph sighed in relief - and Leslie's dignity was finally returned to her. After dinner, we walked down the block to a bar called St. End's, where Leslie ordered a mocktail and Steph had a mulled wine - don't ask. When Leslie got up to go to the bathroom, a group of guys decided to hit on Steph (for real, even though she always thinks everyone is hitting on her anyway), to which she indignantly replied, "I'm on a DATE - with HER!" Returning from the bathroom, Leslie watched as the group of guys returned to their seats, chastened. Steph triumphantly looked up, satisfied with herself and excited to tell Leslie the tale. After we finished our drinks, we headed back into the night to find Leslie's car. Like a true gentle-woman, Leslie drove Steph back to her apartment. In a hurry, Steph reached for the door handle to leave the car, but then remembered her manners and turned to Leslie to give her a hug goodbye. Leslie claims that she was going in for a cheek kiss and that Steph kissed HER, but Steph refutes this, saying that Leslie was going in for the kill. We have never agreed on who was the instigator of our first kiss, but somehow, it happened. The rest is none ya business, but trust us, at the end of the night, we both knew a second date was imminent.

For the first summer that we were together, we knew we wanted to plan some sort of getaway. Leslie was teaching high school at the time, so she had the summer off and we wanted to get outta dodge. Where most couples like to take romantic getaways to beaches and resorts, we decided that the perfect destination for us was Mariaville Goat Farm, in (WAY) upstate New York. Upon arrival, we giddily made our rounds visiting the animals, petting bunnies and making friends with the giant resident hog (who we were apparently NOT supposed to be touching - too late). We settled into our treehouse yurt, and as the sun began to set, we realized that we were missing a critical tool - we didn't have a flashlight between the two of us, and because we are not campers (we had believed we were glampers, but now realized we might not even be that), we had not brought a generator or any way to connect to power, and our phones were slowly dying. Oops. So, it's getting darker, we're realizing we did zero legwork to prepare for this trip, and it would seem that Rick, the resident farmer, wasn't planning to prepare us dinner... that service was evidently not covered in our booking fee. Ever the problem solvers, we jumped in the car and drove 20 miles to the nearest grocery store, purchasing peanut butter, bread, and a rotisserie chicken. Weird spread, but how do you light a camper stove in the dark without a flashlight? Upon returning to camp, we sat under our yurt to eat our pathetic meal, and were somehow shocked when suddenly, we were swarmed by baby goats who also wanted to eat our pathetic meal. They were everywhere - jumping onto every surface, following us around, sticking their faces into ours - and cute as they may have been, we were hungry, tired, and not in the mood to have our fingers bitten off by baby goats... You may be wondering, what does one do with their time on a goat farm? Stephanie really struggled with that one, somehow thinking there would be a scheduled itinerary of activities, while Leslie was content to lay in a hammock and read. Beyond "goat yoga" (which is really just crawling on the ground letting goats jump on you and maim your back skin), and "goat walks" (where you let the 30 baby goats out of their pen and pray they follow you through the foliage without wandering off to eat said foliage), there wasn't much going on. Not for lack of trying - Steph loves a plan and a schedule and did her damndest to make one in the middle of nowhere. We stayed on that farm for THREE. FREAKING. NIGHTS. Not sure who thought that was a great idea - we were sleeping on chair cushions pushed together in a treehouse, showering in rain water from a bucket, pooping in an outhouse with no plumbing - and while we ultimately decided that we did enjoy our stay, we have somehow never been glamping again.

They're kind of like Ozzie and Harriet. One part old married couple, one part siblings and best friends. What you need to know is that Ozzie and Harper are our babies. The sun rises and sets with their little wagging tails. We are obsessed with every move, every poop, every single cute little noise they make. We live to serve them. And they know it. Leslie already had Harper when we met, and that was something that Stephanie immediately got excited about, as a life long dog devotee. Up until that point, Harper was more like a regular dog. When Steph came around, Harper became a BABY. As much as Steph loved Harper, she had always dreamed of having her own dog. She was smart enough as a twenty-something in NYC NOT to get a dog, but as her thirties were progressing, she felt a maternal twinge that made her decide that NOW was the time. So in June of 2022, Stephanie adopted the most handsomest, cuteyest little puppy and she named him Ozzie. Why? Because Stephanie firmly believes that a dog's name should be two syllables and end in an "ee" sound. And she really liked the idea of having a pack of dogs one day, all with rockstar names. So Ozzie he became. We did our best to integrate the two dogs - Harper didn't have a great track record at the time with other dogs, but we believed that we could make it work. So on a sunny June day, we introduced the dogs in Leslie's parents' backyard. Harper growled and snarled at poor puppy Ozzie, and Leslie was terrified that she and Steph would have to immediately break up if the dogs couldn't get along. Steph told her to chill (ironic, since it's usually the other way around), they just needed time to get used to each other. And so over the course of a weekend, through baby gates and joint walks outside, the doggos got to know each other and Harper even started to show some interest in Ozzie that wasn't pure rage. By Sunday morning, the pups were crying for each other through their crate doors, and everyone was cuddling together on Leslie's bed. Everyone was happy, everyone was content, and we were starting to see our little family form. Dohhhhhhhhhhh.

So, when it comes to the number one lesbian stereotype, we break the mold. There was no U-Haul in sight of our relationship for about 2.5 years, which is about 2.25 years longer than the average lesbian couple. What can we say? We're trendsetters. However, a day finally came when it was just time. Steph was ready to leave Brooklyn. Leslie was ready to dive into life in NYC. We were ready to really start to build our life together. So we moved to Harlem. We quickly fell in love with our apartment. An unheard of 2 bed, 2 bath, washer and dryer in unit garden level apartment in a brownstone on a historically landmarked street in Harlem. A freaking backyard?! We hit the jackpot. Leslie suggested we upgrade it a bit by painting the walls and cabinets, which were previously the drabbiest greige you've ever laid eyes on. Steph, a pretty pretty princess, had never painted a wall in her life, but said yes to the challenge, allowing Leslie to take the lead (it WAS her idea!) but being very helpful in the process. We put up shelves and photos. We decorated with relics of our travels and artifacts from our lives. We embraced our naturally bohemian and eclectic style to create a space that felt sacred to both of us. Safe, cozy, and ours. Our bonus came in the form of our "roommates", the Australian family of 7 living in the entire house upstairs. The kids became our pseudo nephews and niece, and the comfort and connection of having neighbors whom we could rely on and who could rely on us was the best feeling. We especially bonded with Nellie, who would come with us to walk the dogs, help us set up for our parties, bake birthday cakes - she was the absolute best! Sadly the family moved back to Australia, and at some point we'll get new neighbors (we're nervous). But having this special relationship with our neighbors completely shaped our two years living in this space.

How do two women get engaged? This is the question that everyone seems to have on their minds. Does one propose? Do they get down on one knee? Do they propose at the same time? Is there only one ring? Are there matching rings? How do you plan it? While we can safely say that every couple does things their own way, we deeply believe that our way is best. We had known for awhile that we were headed in this engagement direction. I mean, after 3.5 years, we still seemed to really like each other and we were stuck in this lease. So, it seemed like we might as well, ya know? ;) We had started to take a look at rings the year before - just looking around, checking out what was out there, what we liked, but with no real plan. We figured we'd know when it was time. As 2024 began to wind down, we realized that the time was now. We'd started to get really into managing our finances (just ask us about Ramit Sethi, he is our guru), and saw ourselves on this path together. Also, we finally had the money to actually buy a ring, so it seemed like a good time. On one Saturday, when we had an upcoming ring appointment, Steph (who was definitely PMSing), had a mini meltdown in the shower. "I want to be proposed toooooo", she wailed. Leslie patiently knelt before her and promised her that she would propose to her. Stephanie sniffed, wiped her nose, and felt better. That ring appointment was when we finally found THE RING for Leslie (Steph already knew what she wanted and it would need to be custom made, thank you very much). And at this point, we knew that it was probably time. "But how should we do it?" Leslie asked. Ever the calm, cool voice of reason, Steph said, "I think we've had all of the hard, unsexy and uncool conversations at this point. We know we're on the same page. I think now we can have some fun and surprise each other". So without each other knowing, both of us ordered each others' rings. And on that day, Steph set in motion a surprise of epic proportions for Leslie, which, based on their conversation about Leslie proposing, Steph knew she would never guess. On December 7th, Steph (in cahoots with Leslie's entire family and network of friends), took Leslie on a walk with the dogs to the lake near Leslie's parents' house. As we approached the lake, Leslie noticed a candlelit display on the beachfront. She grabbed Steph's hand to pull her away, saying, "Oh my god, I think someone died!" How typical. Steph replied, "Well, let's go see". As they got nearer to the set up, Harper decided that now was the perfect moment to take a massive poop, which Steph commanded Leslie to LEAVE. Upon getting closer, Leslie realized that the candlelit votives had hearts on them. "We can't go over there, Steph! I think someone is getting engaged!" Steph turned to Leslie. "Yes, SOMEONE is getting engaged. Welcome to your engagement!" The rest was very cute and involved dumb accents and a very shocked Leslie. We think she said yes, but we both blacked out and aren't totally sure. Afterward, we went back to Leslie's parents' house where she was doubly surprised by all of her friends, who had shown up to celebrate us getting "Enged". (Which is what we decided this was, we still needed to get "Aged"). However, this was very much our engagement, and everyone was quite surprised that Steph was the one to do it. Including Steph. Tee-hee. So cute!