come hell or high water

The year was 2015. Chelsea had just moved half-way across the country and knew exactly three people, all of whom were related to her best friend. About a month in, a dear friend suggested she try online dating to y'know...meet people. She begrudgingly agreed and set up a profile. Not long after, she happened upon a mysterious gent sporting some dashing facial hair, whom she would soon learn was named Eric. On a whim, she thought she'd let him know what she thought (one could argue, this would be the first of many instances...). Thus, she reached out with this profound and awe-striking message: "I like your beard." From there, messages were exchanged in earnest and they learned much about each other, ranging from obscure sports they liked to music and beer preferences. After about a month of chatting digitally, it was time to see if the faces matched the photos: they decided to meet. And there, in the middle of Mamie Dowd Eisenhower Park, on a rainy Sunday afternoon in mid-May, they met for a game of horseshoes, and that, dear friends, is where the real story begins.

Date: July, 2019. Place: Seattle, WA. Eric and Chelsea enjoyed many a fine libation in a renovated funeral home-turned-cocktail lounge. Chelsea's 34th birthday loomed only days ahead. Eric asked Chelsea, "what do you want for your birthday?" Thanks to some delicious liquid courage, Chelsea responded, "a new last name!" Eric laughed...and laughed...and... Fast forward to July, 2020. Sick of their usual surroundings and eager to test out a new truck tent, they headed for the Snowy Range of WY to celebrate Chelsea's birthday weekend. Knowing the results of last year's wish, Chelsea was unaware of the precious bauble that was staring at her from the glove box the entire weekend (it would stay there, as Eric knew it would be a bit small and didn't want to take it back after y'know...offering it). The two shared an incredible weekend romping and spending time with friends, and as the sun rose on her birthday, they cheers'd and enjoyed a breakfast PBR before hitting the road home. Upon their return, they unloaded the truck, and Eric disappeared while Chelsea gave her folks a call. During the call, Eric reappeared in the living room looking, well, off. Chelsea explained she was on the phone with her mom and asked Eric if everything was okay. "You need to call her back," he responded. Convinced that something was dire or someone was dying, Chelsea ended her call and as she turned to ask for further information, she saw her beloved clamber to the ground out of the corner of her eye. "Oh, okay, so HE is dying. Neat," she thought, and ran to the dining room. There, she nearly toppled over him, already on one knee, presenting a glistening ring to match the tears in his eyes. She developed tunnel vision and her mind went blank with love and actual screaming. As she came to, she heard, "I'm sorry it took a year. Happy Birthday." "THANK YOU," she exclaimed a little too loudly, "BUT THIS IS FOR MARRIAGE, RIGHT?" Yes, dear Chelsea and friends, it was for marriage, indeed.