FAQs

Question

Will you be sad if I don't come?

Answer

Said the actress to the bishop. Life often happens, sometimes constantly. Most of our guests are coming in from out of town, and things like flights, hotels, and pet/childcare can add up. If you're not able to make it to the wedding, just check "negatory, good buddy" on the RSVP and we'll see you next time you come to visit.

Question

Can I get by in Seattle without a car?

Answer

Yeppers. King County Metro and Sound Transit are objectively great public transit systems. Anywhere worth getting, you can get to on a bus, ferry or train. We also have a plague of e-scooters and e-bikes for the e-boys and e-girls among you. If you're staying for a long weekend, maybe consider renting a car for a day so you can get out and go for a hike or something.

Question

Will DeWalt and Umi be at the wedding? Will they be your little ring bearers or flower girls? I'm losing my mind and I have to know.

Answer

Umi is graduating from culinary school next spring with her degree in Baking and Pastry Arts, and her commencement is tentatively scheduled for the same day as our wedding. She is understandably upset that she can't make it, but has offered to make biscuits for us when we all get home. Dewey has informed us that she is also busy the day of our wedding. We didn't even tell her what day it was.

Question

Can we stay at your house?

Answer

Lol. Lmao, even.

Question

I've heard some concerning things about crime in Seattle. Do I need to worry about Antifa shooting me and making my partner gay?

Answer

You need to be terrified at all times.

Question

Have you ever seen a rat king?

Answer

No, but we dream about it constantly.