FAQs

Question

Is this real?

Answer

Yes, we have been assured that this is very real.

Question

What is the dress code?

Answer

The dress code is cocktail attire!

Question

Are jeans okay?

Answer

For this wedding, no. In general, yes.

Question

Why does it look like the ceremony and the reception are at the same place?

Answer

Because the ceremony and the reception are at the same place.

Question

Is there parking?

Answer

Parking will be available on-site at no charge. If a ten-year-old boy in a long-sleeve button-down white shirt, wraparound sunglasses, boot-cut jeans, and a cowboy hat attempts to direct your vehicle, please note that despite his representations, this is neither his circus nor his monkeys. He responds to "Big Hoss" and an authoritative hand.

Question

Are kids welcome?

Answer

No.

Question

Okay, but does that include my kids?

Answer

It includes—and we cannot stress this enough—every single kid.

Question

Can I bring a date?

Answer

Only if your invitation says so! As this is an intimate wedding at a secluded venue, we are unable to accommodate any additional guests. There will be hot singles in your area.

Question

Can I make a special request, such as an allergy accommodation or a song?

Answer

You can make any and all special requests using your RSVP link! We love the RSVP link.* *Jonathan worked really hard on writing the RSVP link, and he desperately needs it to pay off.

Question

Can I just text you day-of?

Answer

I wouldn't!