Dan was born right smack in the middle of November, in the year of nineteen-hundred and eighty-two. The state was New Jersey. He wore velcro shoes and his mother dressed him for much of his early life, but it wasn't long until he was taking care of the dinosaur farm his rich great uncle left him in his will. This led to mixed results and a handshake deal with local law enforcement to never move back to the Garden State. He currently resides in the land of make believe. Kelly grew up like most kids in the suburban kingdom of Los Angeles -- with a sensitivity to chilly weather and knack for sneaking a movie quote into every conversation. She spandax pants'd and baggie shirt'd her way through the 90s and actually much of today. Despite a strong intuition, she had no idea about the dinosaurs that now, under law, belonged to Dan. Definitely more of a dog girl, she's learning to make do with the pack. It's really brought her to new understanding of life's little mysteries. Home Is Where the Hammond Is. In 2015, they met on the inter webs with the blessing of a mediocre cupid and now live together with the their dog Bodhi. Together they form #Hamiloff.

Well, here's the story. (Some very minor details may be exaggerated for effect, but maybe not. You be the judge.) Kelly and Dan met at a bar/restaurant in Studio City, California.