01.03.26

It all started with a DM on Instagram. Marissa and I were Resident Assistants at the same time, but in different dorms. We knew of each other, thanks to mutual friends, but didn’t actually know each other. After a little Instagram stalking (guilty), I found out she loved music and wrote her own songs. So, I shot my shot and messaged her asking for her number. Strictly for “music help,” of course. We bonded over that shared love of music and quickly became friends. Fast forward to the second semester of my sophomore year: our school was putting on the annual Regnum Christi Barn Dance. Clever as I am, I bought two tickets ahead of time, thinking it’d motivate me to ask someone. Cut to the night before the dance… and I still hadn’t worked up the courage to ask anyone. That evening, I happened to run into Marissa, and she casually mentioned that her plans for the next night had been canceled. Divine providence? A pretty girl suddenly free for a dance? Jackpot. I asked her to go with me, and the next night was filled with joy and dancing. After that, I realized just how much I enjoyed being around her. A little while later, she asked me to the spring formal (she was a junior and was old enough to get the tickets). In the weeks leading up to it, we kept spending time together and growing closer. After the dance, I asked her out on an actual date and she said yes! We went on a few, but neither of us were quite ready for a relationship yet, and things fizzled out. Jump ahead a few months to August, we started spending more time together again, mostly in group settings at first. But it didn’t take long before we were back to going on dates. This time, it stuck. We’ve made so many memories since then—adventurous dates like the aquarium, the zoo (where a bird may have pooped on Marissa's head), cliff jumping at the quarries, and taking on the hottest wings at Buffalo Wild Wings. The time I’ve spent with Marissa has been the best of my life, and I can’t wait for a lifetime more.

Jumping even further ahead, it came time to plan the proposal. I wanted it to be meaningful and grounded in our shared faith, so I picked March 19—St. Joseph’s feast day. We both have a strong devotion to him as the protector of the Holy Family, and he’s played an important role in our relationship. It felt like the perfect day. Until… Marissa told me she was planning to visit her sister-in-law in Michigan over spring break. Panic mode: activated. I quickly reached out to her sister-in-law Rachel and texted her basically saying, “You can’t let Marissa come visit you.” Crisis (sort of) averted. Then came attempt #2: Marissa floated the idea of visiting her granny in Arizona. And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, she brought up wanting to get her wisdom teeth removed. On spring break. March 19 was trying its best to ruin me. So I came up with what might be one of my most brilliant plans ever (if I do say so myself). My friends would throw a surprise birthday party for me, since my actual birthday is in the summer and we never get to celebrate during the school year. It made perfect sense to throw it on March 19: it’s a feast day, we were doing Exodus 90 (and could actually feast), and it gave me the perfect excuse. Marissa’s “job” was to get me out of the house that day and dressed up. Meanwhile, I had her best friend suggest the St. Joseph Consecration to her, so she would suggest to me that we do it together, making the whole plan seem like it was her idea. The goal: total surprise. In my head, it had two perfect outcomes:     1.    She’s completely surprised and reserves the day months in advance.     2.    She’s not surprised… and still reserves the day months in advance. Of course, it didn’t quite go according to plan. I was the one who ended up suggesting the consecration. My friend (according to Marissa) acted a little too excited and gave off “sus” vibes about the surprise party. And yes… she knew the proposal was coming. But—she reserved the day. The day finally came after months of planning. I picked her up and we headed to Kansas City for lunch. I was trying to act normal, but inside I was buzzing with nerves. After we ate, I told her we were making a quick stop somewhere special. I had contacted the Benedictine Sisters of Mount St. Scholastica to ask if we could use their chapel. The same one where I had first gone to see her sing in the choir. I also wrote her a letter, something we call an ABC gratitude list. Marissa's love language is words of affirmation so I wanted to make her a list of some of the things I loved about her starting with each letter of the alphabet. Except when it got to the letter W, instead of an affirmation, it just had one question: "Will you marry me?" We arrived at the chapel, walked in, and knelt together in front of the altar to finish our consecration to St. Joseph. My whole body was vibrating. I kept stumbling over my words, but Marissa just figured I couldn’t read the consecration book very well. After we finished, we stood up. I pulled out my letter, read it to her, and when I got to the letter "W", I flipped the page and got down on one knee. I asked her to marry me—and she said yes.