The Anton Administration holds that the single greatest act of governance is the elimination of unnecessary work. Meetings that can be emails will be emails. Emails that can be silence will be silence. The American people deserve a government that respects their time. This Administration will not waste it.
The official cocktail our nation's capitol has long been the Gin Rickey — a drink of this nation, of this history, and of this Administration. The Anton Administration adopts it as its own, with one executive modification: a twist of orange peel in place of the conventional lime. The Administration is aware that this deviates from the historical record. The Administration has reviewed the matter and stands firm. The drink shall henceforth be known as the Gen. Anton. This policy is not subject to legislative review.
Banned.
The Anton Administration will pursue federal recognition of University of Miami and Miami Dolphins game days as occasions of national significance. All scheduling conflicts with these events are to be resolved in favor of the games. This policy applies to cabinet meetings, diplomatic summits, and personal social obligations without exception.
The Administration formally elevates the hot dog to the status of National Dish. It is to be prepared with care, served with quality accompaniments, and treated with the institutional respect it has long deserved. A dedicated preparation apparatus shall be maintained in the Executive Residence at all times.
The President served as a professional stylist for several years and retains a detailed understanding of fit, fabric, and form. His current wardrobe represents a considered personal evolution. The Administration declines to elaborate.
The Anton Administration holds that ignorance of the world is a policy failure. All Americans shall be encouraged to go somewhere with great history and better food. Somewhere that changes how you see things. The President has done this repeatedly and intends to continue. As such, all Americans shall be issued a passport at birth. There is no reason to wait. The world does not wait.
The cornerstone of the Anton Doctrine is simple: take care of your people. All other policy follows from this. It is not complicated. The President has never found it complicated.
The Anton Administration will serve one term. This reflects both the original vision of President Washington, who understood that power is a temporary trust and not a permanent residence, and the personal governing philosophy of the President, who has been reliably informed by the Vice President — and his personal physician — that he is, in her clinical opinion, too pretty to work indefinitely. The Administration will return to civilian life on schedule. It will be well-rested.
The Anton Administration will pursue the full expansion of the Miami-Dade Metrorail system. The President holds that a city of this size and ambition deserves public transit worthy of it. This is not a joke. The Administration has several jokes in this document. This is not one of them.