We ask that our guests come in dress attire and we hope our guests wear whatever makes them feel the most comfortable! Many men will be wearing a kippa/ yarmulke (skullcap) and suit and tie, and many women will be dressed in skirts and dresses that cover their knees and tops that cover their shoulders and chest. That being said, please come as you are and be ready to dance!
The following is adapted from myjewishlearning.com: Our invitation will list two different start times. The first time listed refers to the start of the kabbalat panim — the time for greeting the couple before the ceremony — and the second time refers to the actual start time of the ceremony. Though it is nice for close friends and family to arrive at the beginning of the kabbalat panim, you can consider all of the kabbalat panim as an appropriate window for showing up. The kabbalat panim prepares the couple for the wedding, and a lot of different things might take place there. At our kabbalat panim, the bride and groom sit in different rooms or areas, and guests greet them and often enjoy some light refreshments. The bride will sit on a special seat, and guests will approach her to give good wishes. She may offer a special blessing in return. The groom will have a tisch, where he sits around a table with his family and friends singing songs. He may also share words of Torah. The guests often heckle him by shouting and singing to interrupt him, and you can join in the fun. During the kabbalat panim, a document called tenaim, which outlines the conditions of the marriage and declares the couple’s intention to wed, will be read. This is followed by the breaking of a plate, by the mothers of the bride and groom. The ketubah — the Jewish marriage document — will also be signed at the groom's tisch. After all the legalities are taken care of, the groom is escorted by his friends and family, usually with dancing and singing, to meet the bride and veil her in a ceremony known as the bedeken. This is often a particularly moving moment of the wedding, so if you’re planning to come late and skip the kabbalat panim, try to come at least 15 minutes before the ceremony is scheduled.
Rabbi Shafner, the rabbi of both Yoni and Judy from DC, will conduct the ceremony, standing under the chuppah (marriage canopy) with the bride, groom, and their parents. In the middle of the ceremony, the ketubah will be read by a friend. The ketubah is often a beautiful piece of art, and after the ceremony you may be able to admire it if it is on display. Seating at the Chuppah will be mixed, which means that all genders are welcome to sit wherever they want! If you see genders segregating, you can let everyone know that the bride and groom specifically requested that the seating be mixed. Near the end of the ceremony, the sheva berakhot — seven blessings — are recited over a cup of wine. These will be recited by several people that we wish to honor. The guests in the crowd may sing along during the sheva berakhot. Feel free to hum along even if you do not know the words. The wedding ceremony ends with the breaking of the glass, which symbolizes that even in times of great joy, we remember that there is still pain in the world (which Jewish tradition relates to the destruction of the Jewish Temple). In most weddings, after the glass is broken it is time to jump up and yell, “Mazel Tov!" however, at our wedding, the glass will be broken during the middle of a song and we ask that our guests refrain from saying mazal tov until the song is completed. After the conclusion of the ceremony, the bride and groom will head directly to a private room to spend their first few minutes of marriage alone. The guests will be directed to the reception room for the celebration.
Lively circle dancing usually starts immediately when the bride and groom enter the party room. Dancing will be separated for men and women. Get ready for some raucous dancing, and feel free to take your turn dancing with the bride or groom. The couple may take a break from dancing themselves, sit down on chairs on the dance floor, and let the guests entertain them. You can dance for them or show off your back-flipping, juggling, or fire-blowing talents. Be creative — it’s all about making the newlyweds happy! This is the part of the dancing called "shtick". If you have any inside jokes for the bride and/or groom, now is the time to bring it out and make them laugh. After the meal, more traditional weddings end with the recitation of a special grace after meals, which includes a recitation of the same sheva brachot recited during the ceremony. Guests are seated and join together for this. There will be benschers (grace after meals booklets) with our names and the date of the wedding printed on them. You can take one of these home as a party favor.