People You Should Know
Roya
Moms / Original Boss Bitch / The One Who Started It All
There is no one like Roya. There has never been anyone like Roya. There will never be anyone like Roya. Her hairdresser knew it, she changed the words to Royals by Lorde just for her "We will never be Roya" because some truths are best delivered in song. A true American dream, in the most literal sense. She started from the bottom, built it all herself and did what most people couldn't, with style, grit, and a heart that has somehow never run out of room. She will tell you exactly what she thinks. Things you need to hear, things you maybe didn't need to hear quite that loudly or at that moment. But if she's not going to say it, who will? Nobody. That's who. She is Yasmine's everything and has been from the very beginning, her biggest supporter, her greatest teacher, her most formidable sparring partner. Yasmine's ability to think ten steps ahead? Roya. The fun side, the serious side, the fire, the depth, the warmth all of it, every single bit, traces back to her mother. She is the most giving person you will ever meet. The shoes off her feet, whatever you need, it's already yours before you finished asking. She makes you feel loved in a way that is specific and singular and irreplaceable, the kind of love you didn't know existed until you felt it. When the night winds down and people start to fade, look for Roya. She will be on the dance floor. She will have been there for hours. She will outlast everyone. She is a force of nature in heels. We will never be Roya.
Kelly
"Maid of Dishonor" / Chaos Consultant / POOPYTIDDIES
Since the 4th grade, Kelly has been Yasmine's person. They met as members of the elite, highly exclusive group known as B.A.K.K.Y — the details of which are classified, but the friendship that came out of it has been very, very real. At first glance, Kelly might read as your average girl's girl. Don't be fooled. Underneath the polish lives a woman of pure sass, razor-sharp wit, and an attitude that will make you question every life choice you've ever made, in the best possible way. She can scare you and make you fall in love with her in the exact same second, sometimes mid-sentence. She was one of the first women in Yasmine's life to show her what true female friendship actually looks like, how to be a girl, how to show up for one another, how to do it right. She didn't just model it, she lived it. She cares in a way that is almost concerning, and it comes entirely from love. She has been Yasmine's rock, her reality check, her biggest supporter, and the person who has kept her sane through everything life has thrown her way. Yasmine would not be who she is without her. As for her first impression of Jeff? On the night of her own wedding, Kelly pulled him aside and delivered what may be the most oddly specific compliment in romantic history: "The reason Yasmine likes you is because you have a big nose. She likes big noses." She does not remember saying this. She is not wrong. And honestly? That's Kelly.
Ashley
Fellow B.A.K.K.Y Alumni / Renaissance Woman / POOPYTIDDIES
Also a founding member of the legendary B.A.K.K.Y, Ashley has been in Yasmine's corner for as long as anyone can remember and if you know Ashley, you understand immediately why you'd want her there. She is, without exaggeration, the smartest, funniest, and most talented person in most rooms she walks into. She will make you cry laughing over a fart joke, then casually drop a piece of knowledge so insane your brain will need a minute. Before you've recovered, she'll mention the incredible screenplay she's writing... oh, and she's also training for a serious swim competition. Just, you know, on the side. Ashley is Yasmine's movie person, her TV person, her music person. The one who sends the weird film rec no one wants, knowing Yasmine is the only person who would appreciate it. The one you call when a concert comes to town because you already know she's in. They've bonded over live music and strange cinema in the way only two people with genuinely good taste can. She also has a heart so big she will sit and listen intently to anyone's story fully present, deeply generous even when every fiber of her being is screaming "I do not care even a little bit." She is the Tank. Yasmine is the Pit. What does that mean? We're not telling you. Maybe one day you'll be lucky enough to find out. She's an enigma. She's perfect. She's Ashley.
Vanesa
Retired Matchmaker (Honorably Discharged)
It started at a Halloween party in 2006. Yasmine spotted Vanessa and was immediately struck by how interesting she was, the kind of creative talent that stops you mid-conversation. What she did not yet know was that this same woman is also one of the most quietly, devastatingly silly people she would ever meet in her entire life. A delightful trap. Vanessa has been springing it on people for years. Here's how Vanessa works: she gives off this energy. Soft. Sweet. Maybe a little ditzy? You relax. You think you've got her figured out. And then, out of absolutely nowhere, she says something so sharp or so unexpectedly hilarious that you do a full double take wondering where that came from. She has been doing this her whole life and she is very, very good at it. She is thoughtful, bold, and kind in equal measure. She built her own business from the ground up alongside her husband Griffin, which should surprise no one who actually knows her because beneath the gentle exterior is a woman who is sharp as hell and doesn't miss a thing. She also spent years.... years!!!! trying to set Yasmine up, undeterred by logic, geography, or basic compatibility. She never gave up. She never wavered. She simply believed. Vanessa. You're free. She found him. You will never meet anyone quite like her. Sneaky smart, sneaky funny, and genuinely one of a kind that really is just Vanessa.
Cindy
Bumble bff match / Down to Clown
In a plot twist nobody saw coming, Yasmine found another great love of her life on Bumble, this time in the BFF section. They locked eyes across the app. They crossed their fingers. It was a match. Yasmine went on exactly one Bumble BFF date. After Cindy, she didn't need to go on another. Cindy is, in the truest sense of the word, a girls' girl. She is sunshine on your darkest day, but here's what makes her special: she's not only there for the good parts. She will climb down into the shallow pits of awful with you and just sit there. No fixing, no rushing, no toxic positivity. Just Cindy, right there beside you, in the mess. Their first hangout was lunch. Then a beach party. Then somehow the whole day was gone and neither of them noticed. That's how it's always been. Since then the friendship has grown and shifted and deepened in the best way, from navigating single life and late nights out, to a now a very serious shared obsession with birds and animals that Yasmine will not be elaborating on further but is very real. What Cindy brought wasn't just herself. She brought an entire world with her people, connection, a reminder of what happens when you stop guarding the door and actually let people in. She is down for the good. She is down for the bad. She is just down. Always. She's proof that sometimes the universe swipes right at exactly the right moment.
Brian
Jeff's Brother / Distinguished Gamer (No Jar Allegations)
Jeff's younger brother. His rock. His person. His co-conspirator in what can only be described as a lifelong brotherhood that started with late night internet gaming sessions and has never really slowed down. They played games together all through the night growing up. Back to back. All night long. And no, they did not pee in jars. They would like that noted for the record. These days the gaming has evolved into something perhaps even more chaotic: they text each other like two middle school girls who just got phones for the first time. All day. Every day. Giggling over every message. If you've ever seen Jeff suddenly light up at his phone for no apparent reason, that's Brian. In real life, Brian is an absolute unit — one of the strongest people you will ever encounter, always pushing himself further, always raising the bar. Balance? She doesn't live here. Brian is doing everything, all the way, all the time, no brakes. He is funny, sassy, and sharp — but underneath all of it is the same heart Jeff has always known. The one that shows up. The one that's always there. For Jeff, without question, without hesitation. That's his little brother. That's his best man. That's Brian.
Alex
Uncle-Cousin / Last Man Standing
Alex is Jeff's uncle-cousin — a classification that defies easy explanation and honestly that's very on brand for Alex. He will be there for you. Absolutely, without question. He may also be slightly late. But here's the thing about Alex, he is always, always worth the wait. If he has one single second in his day he will squeeze you in, show up, make it work, and somehow make you feel like you were the only thing on his agenda. Which is impressive, because Alex's agenda is enormous. The man is perpetually somewhere traveling the world, on a work trip to a destination that sounds either incredibly glamorous or deeply questionable, or attending some festival where everyone else tapped out hours ago and Alex is still standing, still going, still having the best time in any room he is in. He and Jeff are two peas in a very strangely shaped pod. Late night 24 Hour Fitness runs. Various acts of mischief that neither of them will be fully disclosing today. A bond built on curiosity, adventure, and the unique energy of two people who just genuinely get each other. Alex knows things. Fascinating, unexpected, where-did-you-even-learn-that things. And he always wants to know more. He is the star of every room. Everyone's favorite. The family's beloved enigma. The brightest one in the constellation. Fashionably late. Absolutely magnetic. Entirely Alex.
