We’re getting married!! Let’s paaaartaaay

Chapter One September something 2021 It was a match made on Bumble which is to say, it was made the way most modern love stories begin: with a carefully curated selection of photos and a quiet, desperate hope that the other person is normal. Jeff came to the table with two pictures of his face and one artfully composed shot of his living room. Riveting. Mysterious. Deeply concerning. Yasmine, scrolling with the practiced eye of someone who has seen far too many fish-holding selfies, did what any sensible woman would do: she zoomed in on his mouth. Official Yasmine concern, logged and timestamped: "Does this man have teeth?" Reader, he has teeth. But at the time, the jury was very much still out. Despite the dental ambiguity, something about Jeff's profile was just interesting enough. She swiped right. The Bumble gods smiled. ✦ Chapter Two The Conversation (Such As It Was) Per Bumble tradition, Yasmine made the first move. They chatted. It was fine. It was decent. But Jeff had a certain quality that Yasmine had come to recognize after many, many laps around the apps: the vibe of a man who is absolutely not going to ask her out. You know the type. Great in the DMs. Allergic to making plans. She'd seen this movie before, and she did not like the ending. So she did what any exhausted, been-here-done-this woman does: she simply stopped responding. Quietly. Gracefully. The way you close a browser tab you'll never go back to. She was three seconds away from deleting him entirely. A very close call for the institution of marriage ✦ Chapter Three The Callback And then Jeff texted. "Where'd you go?" Three words. Casual. Unbothered. But here's the thing: he showed up. And Yasmine, a woman who appreciates directness above all things, decided to cut straight to it. When exactly are you planning to ask me out? — Yasmine, not here to waste anyone's time Jeff, to his eternal credit, did not fumble this. He simply said: "What do you want for dinner?" Yasmine didn't miss a beat: Rack of lamb. Not "oh, I don't know, whatever's fine!" Not "surprise me!" Rack. Of. Lamb. This is who she is. Jeff said, with the energy of a man who is figuring this out in real time: "Where do they have that?" And so Yasmine, because if you want something done right, found them a restaurant that listed rack of lamb on the menu. It was not available when they arrived. They went anyway. ✦ Chapter Four The Date What followed was one of those rare first dates where you forget to be nervous because you're too busy laughing. They roasted each other with the ease of people who'd known each other far longer than a few weeks of intermittent texting. The jokes landed. The chemistry was undeniable. At some point, they managed to get the chef to come out and show off his fancy knives whether this was a planned entertainment feature of the restaurant or something the two of them simply willed into existence through sheer charisma remains unclear. Either way, the chef obliged. The knives were shown. Everyone was delighted. The rack of lamb may not have been available, but the experience? Fully delivered. It was, by any reasonable measure, a great date. ✦ Chapter Five The Cards on the Table Except — there's always an except - Yasmine couldn't quite get a read on Jeff. He was warm, funny, present, and then somehow still a little unreadable. Here's the funny part: that's exactly what everyone had always said about her. Yasmine the woman who could charm a room and still leave people guessing, had finally met someone who gave her a taste of her own medicine. She found, somewhat to her own surprise, that she kind of liked it. And then one day, out of nowhere, Jeff sent a text. Is it weird that I want to take care of you? — Jeff, putting it all on the table The cards were on the table. All of them. At once. Just like that. Yasmine, who had spent several weeks trying to decipher this man, suddenly had her answer. And so did he.